Day 2 of the British Open Comes to a Stop

What an unfortunate day for players and fans alike here at St. Andrews. Officials were forced to halt play just a few moments ago when the green on the crucial par-4 17th was sincerely compromised.

Can Rory McIlroy recover, Barney S.?

Join the C.O. Dangerous Sports Society!

Skydiving too sedate? Bungee jumping a bore? We’ve got the ultimate rush for today’s jaded thrill-seeker! Here’s how it works: A genuine medieval catapult (a) launches you across the Grand Canyon (b), onto a waiting trampoline (c), which propels you through a wall of flame (d) into a wading pool full of Nerf balls (e).

… oh, and there’s a certain spot on the trampoline you’ll need to avoid, too.

Is there a point to all this, Debra E.?

Say, Clark…? You didn’t by chance just use some Krazy Glue, did you?

Let me get this straight: So instead of going on my long-awaited, very important third date with Yasmine, I’m now attached to your wrist like I’m some kind of freaking bangle charm?? Dammit, Clark!

Opposite of yak attack, Eric K.

The Following is a Ted Nugent-Free Zone

Wakey-wakey eggs and bakey.

Deer God, I hope that’s my mother behind me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who you callin’ a gazelle.

If someone would please remove these roller skates from my feet, I’ll get up and walk away gracefully.

I am much, much prettier than you.

What do you call this magical land where rubber duckies inexplicably fall from trees?

Sender-inner Emily B. writes: I’m working at a whitetail deer ranch this summer, and we’re bottle-raising all the doe fawns. So far we have 46 fawns on the bottle. They’re all incredibly cute, pushy, and they’re all named: The pictures of the fawn in the grass are of His Majesty, who we’ve been nursing back to health. He’s a spoiled brat, but he’s so small and fuzzy that he gets away with a lot; the staring one is Eowyn (she’s a little crazy); the two curled up next to each other are Diana and Wren; and finally, the brand spanking new baby is Clementine being licked clean by her mama, Trey.

The Alpaca and His Wingman

Check out the medulated fiber on that one…

OK, thanks for the help – I’m goin’ in. Man, I hope she likes furry eyeballs.

Alpacas can be real pigs, Jenni.

Loook at theeesh facesh!

An inaccurate rumor about Ralph Lauren retiring his longstanding Polo logo led many livestock to give it a shake.

Heads, hands-down winner, Amanda Z.

He Got Game…Until His Ma Showed

Hey, Sweets. I like you; you like me. I’d like to take you to a movie…

Oh. Well, I think that’s R-Rated, so my Ma is going to have to come with us…

That’s gonna be one long date, Dr. Mary .

Her Little Helper was a Bit of an Alarmist

Whoa lady, if you’re about to do what I think you’re about to do, then I can tell you with complete certainty that things will never be the same. You’re about to ruin everything, and I’m sorry, but I absolutely cannot allow you to put that wooden cutting board through the dishwasher.

I thought Palmolive was green, Larissa M.

And the Stork Flew Away with a Hernia

There’s a new 147-pound addition at Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay, FL!

A baby reticulated giraffe was born just days ago to mom Teesa and dad Sterling. The calf will stay with mom in an area away from guest view so the baby can be closely monitored to ensure that the newborn is nursing and growing properly. After a few months, the duo will join the other animals on the Serengeti Plain, where they will surely experience a lot of rubbernecking.

As always, thanks for the updates, Nick G.

THIS JUST IN: A Dik-Dik schnozzle

Dik-Diks are African mini hoofers who run around the plains delighting everyone who sees them. I hadn’t noticed before, but they also have spectacular little Tapir-like schnozzles! Check it!

The cutest animal… by mistca and Eyelashes Antelope by mikel.hendriks

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