If Salvador Dali Designed Livestock

"… and I’m going to title this one The Persistence of Moo-mory, just as soon as I can figure out how to drape it over a tree branch."

I CAN HAZ SURREALIZM?

Wow, Morgan R., it’s like … deep and stuff.

So I crapped on the rug one time. BIG DEAL.

I can’t believe you’re making me wear these.

When you take these pants off, I’m gonna take a dump on your couch.

Crappere

Petit Crappère brought to you by Kimberly P.

Nosevember, we hardly knew ye

What the heck just happened? It was ‘Tocktober like three days ago, and now Nosevember is on its way out the door!

Hamsters wearing yarmulkes in Christmas stockings are ON DECK!

Holy Schnozzles, photo finder NTMTOM! Nosey Fallow Deer! by johnmuk.

Well, This Sucks

"Check out these road hogs, will’ya?  What’s the matter, lady — you and the kids skipped breakfast again?  Hoof it outta here, Squeals on Wheels, I got stuff to do today!"

Pay no attention, children, we're more equal than they are.

Let’s see if the peeps can milk some more jokes out of this, Johanna S.

I was wondering if you had a date to Alpaca Nights yet…

It’s gonna be sweet. Everyone is going. The chaperones are monkeys, so it’s gonna be really cool.

Linda?

3013446171_1f333a0b7a_b

Chris G. will you go with me to Alpaca Nights?

THIS JUST IN: Ani-matronic-pals

Ladies and Gentlemen, animatronic band overload! What a hilarious mash-up completely resurrected and re-programmed Rock-afire Explosion… 

Great submishe, Sparky ;)

Let’s write a children’s book called “Playground Sounds”

Rock rock rock

[Brrrrring! Turn the page!]

Climb climb climb

Bear_playground

Swing swing swing

[Brrrrring! Turn the page!]

Bridge bridge bridge

Look look look

Slide slide slide

The End.

Absolute redonkulousness brought to you by the letter "P" and Alaska Bear Playground by Umnak, Panda Cub by anitalee, Swinger by aqui-ali, queen of the castle by KCA, lookout by piggley, Sliding dog by fd.

Let’s Give ’em Somethin’ to ‘Tock About

Turtles are tockin’, tockin’ ’bout turtles,
This one needs Shoehab, would you believe it?

N8602147_40986097_6565

And then these bunnies, doin’ one-eighty,
Try to ignore it but they keep singin’…

Pastedgraphic

‘Tocks just a little too round,
‘Tocks just a little too close,

Picture_1

You stare just a little too long.
Maybe you’re seein’, same thin’ we do darlin’.

Frog

Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [stoats singing backup]
Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [hamsters singing backup]
Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooocks?

Picture_2

I feel so foolish, I never noticed
Your ‘tocks are bulbous, could you be posin’ for me?
It took this website to make me wonder,
Now I’m convinced that I’m goin’ under.

Picture_3

Thinkin’ ’bout ’em every day,
Dreamin’ ’bout ’em every night.
I’m hopin’ that they feel the same way,
But that’s impossible—’tocks can’t have feelin’s darlin!

Picture_4

Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup]
A little mystery to figure out
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baby seals singing backup]
Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooooooocks?

Picture_5

Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about babe,
A little bee butt to figure out.
Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about,
How ’bout buttooooooocks? Ooh…

7

Listen to ’em baby
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup again]

2_tocks_up

A little tailio won’t hurt ’em
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baboons singing backup]

11

Let’s give ’em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How about love, love, spots, and love

12

Whoowhoo mmmm hey oohh whoowhoo
About love, love, love, love

How about they ‘tock about it? uh huh
‘Tock about love……..

13

Apologies to Bonnie Raitt. Take a bow, ‘Tocktober! Excellent pic spotting, Chief Sister Officuh.

Turtle ‘Tocks by Kasey S., Bun’Tocks by Debra R., elephant log ‘tocks by Sheri, Frog ‘Tocks by Mary Jo E., Sprawled Bunneh ‘Tocks by Heather R., French Bulldog ‘Tocks photo by Carolyn M. sent in by Carolyn C. NBC ‘Tocks by Elena A., Bee ‘Tockage by Uncle Andrew, Alpaca Night ‘Tocks by Julie K., Duck! Duck! ‘Tocks! by Melissa S., Pan-‘Tocks by Roxanne S., Giraffe ‘Tocks by Kellene F., ‘Phant ‘Tocks Sent in by Kate E. taken by Carolyn G.

“Goaty Two Shoes”

Just because I curl my ears, trim my horns, like Holly Hobby, eat my vegetables and overall I am annoyingly virtuous doesn’t mean you get to call me that.

Goatvi3

It’s better than ‘Goatse Two Shoes’ Elizabeth F.

Amazing True Facts of Science Revealed!

Lions can melt snow by having an orgy!

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a cigarette!

Cows can communicate telepathically with their tongues!

You DON'T want steak ... You DON'T want steak ...

Puppy breath can be used as a biological weapon!

Set wieners on stun!

And the most amazing science fact of all: Allison U. finds awesomely weird photos!!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 16,785 other followers