Let’s Give ‘em Somethin’ to ‘Tock About

Turtles are tockin’, tockin’ ’bout turtles,
This one needs Shoehab, would you believe it?

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And then these bunnies, doin’ one-eighty,
Try to ignore it but they keep singin’…

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‘Tocks just a little too round,
‘Tocks just a little too close,

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You stare just a little too long.
Maybe you’re seein’, same thin’ we do darlin’.

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [stoats singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [hamsters singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooocks?

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I feel so foolish, I never noticed
Your ‘tocks are bulbous, could you be posin’ for me?
It took this website to make me wonder,
Now I’m convinced that I’m goin’ under.

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Thinkin’ ’bout ‘em every day,
Dreamin’ ’bout ‘em every night.
I’m hopin’ that they feel the same way,
But that’s impossible—’tocks can’t have feelin’s darlin!

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup]
A little mystery to figure out
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baby seals singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooooooocks?

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about babe,
A little bee butt to figure out.
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about,
How ’bout buttooooooocks? Ooh…

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Listen to ‘em baby
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup again]

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A little tailio won’t hurt ‘em
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baboons singing backup]

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How about love, love, spots, and love

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Whoowhoo mmmm hey oohh whoowhoo
About love, love, love, love

How about they ‘tock about it? uh huh
‘Tock about love……..

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Apologies to Bonnie Raitt. Take a bow, ‘Tocktober! Excellent pic spotting, Chief Sister Officuh.

Turtle ‘Tocks by Kasey S., Bun’Tocks by Debra R., elephant log ‘tocks by Sheri, Frog ‘Tocks by Mary Jo E., Sprawled Bunneh ‘Tocks by Heather R., French Bulldog ‘Tocks photo by Carolyn M. sent in by Carolyn C. NBC ‘Tocks by Elena A., Bee ‘Tockage by Uncle Andrew, Alpaca Night ‘Tocks by Julie K., Duck! Duck! ‘Tocks! by Melissa S., Pan-‘Tocks by Roxanne S., Giraffe ‘Tocks by Kellene F., ‘Phant ‘Tocks Sent in by Kate E. taken by Carolyn G.

“Goaty Two Shoes”

Just because I curl my ears, trim my horns, like Holly Hobby, eat my vegetables and overall I am annoyingly virtuous doesn’t mean you get to call me that.

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It’s better than ‘Goatse Two Shoes’ Elizabeth F.

Amazing True Facts of Science Revealed!

Lions can melt snow by having an orgy!

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a cigarette!

Cows can communicate telepathically with their tongues!

You DON'T want steak ... You DON'T want steak ...

Puppy breath can be used as a biological weapon!

Set wieners on stun!

And the most amazing science fact of all: Allison U. finds awesomely weird photos!!

Tiny peeg, tiny feets

Sender-Inner Ellen recently snorgled this pot-bellied piglet with the tiniest of feets.

He’s about 10 days old, and lives at Domino’spetting farm in Ann Arbor, MI.

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According to Ellen, there are about 20 of thesefreshly-borned little guys running around in the pen, and they all sleep togetherin a long line. Ahn. [Head tilt]

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Excellent footage, Ellen! ;)

Dewd, have you been to 2% yet?!

That new milk bar 2% on 16th has got the greatest atmosphere. They have this grass-like carpet farm-thing going on, and they serve this awesome drink called the Cow Nipple—all the lambs are hanging out there.

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Trisha V., I’m at the booth in the back.

Ye Olde Quteness

It’s Circa 1925, People, and Thee Quteness is alive and well, according to Shorpy.com.

Just like this century, fine folks bottle-fed their piglets.

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Oh, and took them for walkies.

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Sender Inner Brinke G. From Shorpy, the 100-year-old-photo blog.

Our Five Finalists Face the Essay Question

"… and the first question goes to Miss Chickasawhatchee, Melita Jane Hoofnagle:  One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

'And furthermore, um ... moo?'

I think we have our Miss Congeniality, Beth S.

Imperial Alpacas

Have arrived and are going to sniff this situation out.

Just stand still and they should pass over you in a second.

They only travel in a massive, sniffing mob, Nancy A. Snorf.

Il Matadeer!

The crowd falls still as I enter the ring. At the far end stands my feared and respected enemy: Il Matadeer.

Oh, how they adore me.

He unfurls his cape before him. I lowermy head. It is our signal to begin. Soon, like my father, and hisfather before him, we will be locked in a dance of death, a timelessstruggle from which only one may … may … whuh-HUH?!  HEEEEYYYYY!!

And so it begins...

"Wake up, honey. You were having the bullfight dream again."

"I was not!"

"You do realize that we’re deer, don’t you?"

"I WASN’T HAVING IT, HONEST!"

"It’s all right, sweetie. I’m going to the kitchen — would you like a salt lick?"

 

CUTTIT OUT!!

(sigh…) "Thanks, Mom."

Now, where was I?

Dream big, Angela B.

Get me my English to Goatlish Dictionary

I love the little pathetic “yeeeeeeeessss!” at the end. At least that’s what my English to Goatlish dictionary said he meant.

Adrian W., I won’t charge you for the translation this time.