If They Build It, You Should Not Come

It was the house that buns built. They called it Hoppy Times Plantation, and what a misnomer that was. Don’t be fooled. You are not welcome here.

The mint julep strikes again.

It was built on disapproval, Tuesday H.

Huh?

When you start saying “Must…snorgle…nosicles!” or when you reach for my nose and inexplicably exclaim “Beep!” and then look around and say, “Shifty eyes” to no one else in the room, I get concerned that maybe I’m not hearing things so well.

And I can only assume that’s because you haven’t trimmed my ear hair.

What'chu talkin' 'bout, Owner.

Beep! Beep! Harumph, Kate Elizabeth Q.

Those Smiles Are Fake

Really? You’re just going to stand there on the other side of the glass and take pictures? I’m just waiting for the day when the only thing that separates us is your mask. If I were you – and I’m glad that I’m not – I’d learn how to wield that snorkel like a sword, capesh?

Why so blue?

Photo courtesy of Timm Schamberger/AFP/Getty Images

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail Don’t Have This Problem

Like I told James Lipton: On one foot, was it the role of a lifetime? Absolutely – I owe Beatrix a great deal. But on the other, I can really deal without the paparazzi.

Are you telling me that not only was I on TMZ, but they also identified me as a capybara named Mr. McGregor? Get my agent on the horn.

Be vehwy, vehwy quiet, Alex M.

Vincent and Jules Hatch Their Plan

“I don’t know…What do you think?”

“It’s risky. But if I’ve done the calculations correctly, I think it will hold. I just wish it had a bit more length.”

Say hello to my little friend.

“And what about the pigs?”

“You know them – it’s always hard to tell with their incessant wheet-wheet-wheeting, but I think they’re on board. But they want us to go first. You know, because of our ‘lucky feet’.”

“Typical. So we’re a go?”

“Affirmative.”

The following morning Farmer Ted went out to his garden and discovered a veritable vegetable massacre. All that was left along the outside of the fence were six tiny trench coats, six tiny mustaches, and one leaf of kale. Farmer Ted thought back to the previous week and suspected that those ungrateful bunnies had actually followed through on their written threat:

“fArMheR Tehd:

We sicK of KAle. FEed us CaRROt oR wE usE kAle as PoLE vAUlt inTO VehgtIblE gARdEn. U hAve 7 Day.

LUv,

RaBBits and Teh PiGs”

Build a higher fence, Julie D.

Go Ahead. Try The Wipers.

In your face, Winston!

You can drive as fast as you want, Winston, because I got Hubba-Bubba on my paws and Marshmallow Fluff on my belly. You want the cats back, you’re gonna have to get rid of ME first. So go ahead and roll the dice. But keep in mind that I’m not some idiot cat, so I won’t be chasing after it.

Welcome to hell.

Hope you were wearing a seat belt, Anne T.

Oxymoron alert: The Disapproving Fawn

She’s fawning! She’s disapproving! Fawning! Disapproving! She frightens and confuses me!

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Typical chick, Jaclyn S.!

No napping in sunbeams for Cranky McCrankersons

No sunbeams!

They hurt my eyes!

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My precious blue eyeballs!!!

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I’M MELTING!!!

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Turn this light OFF!

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I’m getting my whiskers in a bonche!!!

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You say Rule #40, I say “Nyerhe!”

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Hey Sender-Inner, may I suggest SPF 145?

You Sir, win Most Blorpiest

Check out this guy, he is a disapproving, froggular sphere!

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And now, the disapproving part:

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Sender-Inner Vanessa H. says The Cape Rain Frog rivals the bunny for sheer disapproving-ness. Agreed!

You’re a weasel—JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER!

Sigh.

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They can’t all be winners, Zeki. Via China Daily.

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