Ushering in the Decade’s First Hangover

Can you please get me a fried egg sandwich with a side of french fries and Coke, asap. And I beg of you, do it quietly.

Maybe order a pizza too, Alisha D.

Hey Man, What’s Your Beef?

Farmer Ted was just tooling around on the tractor, minding his own business, when he saw Clyde, the herd punk. And before Farmer Ted could even mutter a small “hello,” he became victim to a drive-by moo-ing.

They start so young, Kelly B.

Whatever You Do, Try Not to Look Delicious

At first, Egon was understandably thrilled when his pet-project, The Supersizer, finally worked.

But within seconds, he knew he had gone too far. Dangling from the chandelier and desperately trying not to appear swat-able, Egon reconsidered his math when he set the knob to “Freaking Colossal”.

Maybe he just has really tiny paws, Christina H.

Well, This is Just Getting Ridiculous

Excuse Me? When I said I wanted just a hair more of cinnamon, this is not what I meant.

Not even a pound of sugar would sweeten this angry bunny, Kelsey H.

Scientists Discover Evolved, Even More Unenthused, Breed

When our team engaged specimen (code name “Blow Dry”) with friendly snuggles and delicious alfalfa, specimen exhibited fascinating new “threatening” behavior.

Meet the Puffer Bun.

What’s it like living with Santa Claws, Hillary B.

We Have Now Passed Ridiculous. Next Stop: Absurd.

Let me guess. You’re making a Bundt cake.

Harebrained submission, Emily B.

Oh Mabel, What Will You Do Next?

Mabel is – how should we say? – eccentric. Has been, ever since those red-tailed monkeys accidentally clocked her with that Frisbee they whittled out of that Acacia bark. She wasn’t seriously hurt, thankfully, but the hit definitely rattled something. Like, it’s especially odd when she licks our horns and says, “Well, that’s the best darned drumstick I’ve ever had!”

Mabel is as Mabel does, Mari P.

If John Hughes Had Cast the Frog and Lab

You’re ashamed to be seen with me. You’re ashamed to go out with me. You’re ashamed your rich friends won’t approve of me! Well, at least I’m not a sell-out who allows ridiculous people to wear my image on their ties and belts while attending clambakes in Nantucket!  You’re all, “Hi, I’m the Labassador of Americana!” And then you forget what you said because you’re too busy chasing a Kennebunkport squirrel wearing loafers! But you’re right, I should be embarrassed about my camouflage.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to wait here for Duckie to pick me up.

He didn’t become part of “the breakfast club” did he, Brian B.?

Disapproval at a Different Level

Oh my, what an – gulp – adorable bunny. Well, um, yes, I guess he does look like Clark Gable…though that’s not the first name that comes to mind. Say, is he, a, um…nice…rabbit?

Keep an eye on that one, Chelsea T.

Are You Familiar with the Phrase “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”?

I get it. You think it’s adorable to take pictures of me doing silly things. And because you consistently provide adequate food and water, I humor you. To a point. But tread lightly owner, because let’s not forget who’s boss here. Need I mention the term “feral” to you…?

Godspeed, Holly E.

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