Start of call: The representative seems courteous and helpful, and merely has a few questions to assist with the cancellation process. Although the questions appear unduly personal, you may ease any stress of the experience by looking at this picture of a smiling
tiger cub clouded leopard.
Minute six: Although theoretically willing to assist with the cancellation, the representative is concerned that your desire to abandon such a caring, loving service may be due to latent feelings of resentment of one or both parents, and suggests weekly therapy along with a complimentary 20 Mbps upgrade. During this phase, you may need to gaze at this bunny for strength.
Minute eighteen: Now sobbing into his mouthpiece, the representative demands to know, to learn, to feel the reasons why you have chosen to break the heart of this fine service that exists only to serve you. Was it that one time the Game of Thrones season finale got all blocky? That wasn’t our fault, dammit! During this phase, hide all sharp objects and secure any firearms you may own. This kitten represents your last best chance to retain your sanity. Good luck.
The inspiration for this post, if you need it.