Toast Ghost Coast-to-Coast!

“My mom was really craving a BLT one night,” says sender-inner Sharon S., “and squirted this mayo man on her toast!”

“She ran upstairs to show me and we laughed SO hard.  We have it frozen in our fridge.”

I Am The Magical Lumpfish!

… and you caught me fair and square, so I shall grant you three wishes! But (gasp!) if I could offer a suggestion (wheeze!), and far be it from me (choke!) to influence what I’m sure (urk!) must be a challenging decision (harrgh!), but you might want your first wish (aaack!) to be for a fish tank, (hurrp!) maybe a bucket of water…

Photo by Tobi M., who assures us that the little feller swam safely away afterward.

Sea lion pup INVAYSHONS

They Ornk! They sleep! They flop! It’s a mini-eared, blorp-tacular sea lion pup invasion!

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How did this happen in Monterey!? Watch:

After Eric P. directed the video, he barricaded City Hall.

Much Like the Rhythm, the Shame is Gonna Get You

Just as he did every afternoon, Sanford told his friends he was headed out to the river to relax while listening to Bach and Mozart. He didn’t like to lie, but the shame of the truth was too great: Alone on the waters, he’d place those ear phones on his head, and disappear in the sweet, sweet sounds of (similarly coiffed) Richard Marx.

Maybe I'll be able to patch that hole in Ma's washtub with some of Wendell's mashed potatoes.

And, you’re welcome:

I turn my nose up at the Riverbottom Nightmare Band.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you, Angie C.

ORNK ORNK!

You gotta love this lil’ Galapagos seal pup, he’s all concentrating on mutating into a cuter version of himself over time and stuff, waiting for Darwin to write a book about him.

seal-pup

Photo by Stuart Leslie. Did you know you could enter the International Photo Contest over at National Geographic!? Then, after that, download this prosh-leaf-dweller wallpaper!

Don’t make me say it

What should I title this post. Whaaaaaaat should I title it? I must think hard about a reference for this peckish pygmy. I can’t think of anything! If only I could reference a ridiculous, aggressive marble-munching game from my childhood!

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Via The Bobbeh Implosion who found this on a sweet lil’ Tumblog called You’re a Strange Animal.

My Heart Will Blorp On

Of all the dangers faced by ancient mariners, none was more deadly or feared than the Giant Blorpular Sealberg.  These free-floating islands of blubber concealed as much as nine-tenths of their mass below the surface, just waiting to bounce any ship foolish enough to pass too close.

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A new niche!

Ruhmember this guy? The blorp of butter that fell off a plate and into OUR HEARTS?

I Can't Belive It's Not a Duck

Just sayin’ it’s COINCIDENTAL THAT THERE IS A NEW WEBSITE called: “This Peanut Looks Like a Duck

Check it:

I am highly skeptikuhls, Karla B.!

I Just Don’t Know Where I Find the Time

Boy, have I got a busy day planned.

First, I have to put off cleaning out the rain gutters, then I’ve got to avoid painting the spare bedroom.

And somewhere in between not edging the front lawn and forgetting to take out the trash, I’ve got to carve out time to refrain from cleaning the attic…

lazy-frog

See also. ;)

Raiders of the Lost Ook

Dr. Jones coiled his bullwhip and gazed at the crumbling stone altar just paces away.  Atop it sat the squat bronze idol, as it had for centuries, returning his gaze with mocking contempt.

“Let us hurry,” said the guide.  “There is nothing to fear here.”

“That’s what scares me,” said Jones.

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Once again, Chantal P., what was briefly yours is now mine! (evil laughter)

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