What a Blowhard

“…And then I went back to the market to return said sea cucumber because it didn’t really mesh with the seaweed salad I had planned for that night’s dinner. But wouldn’t you know it, the market was closed, which was unfortunate on obvious levels but also because I needed a sponge. Anyhoo, long story short, I got very little done, but then I met you, and well, now here we are. Nice to meet you, my name is Bob.”

Way to catch the most uninteresting creature in the sea, Brendan.

A Polite Request from Monstro

Yeah, we’ve all seen the movie. Jiminy Cricket, Blue Fairy, “I got no strings,” the whole schmear. Hey, even my grandkids like it — until they get to that scene.

Look, I’m a big animal, and sometimes I swallow things. You try watching where you’re going with a head the size of a submarine. So if you happen to find yourself in my belly, do me a favor: Don’t start a fire; just knock. I’ll let you out, promise.

Posted to our Twitter feed by sfxmaven, who found it in this slideshow.

Kitty was Having a Serious Identity Crisis

Heeeeey, Brother Hermit Crab! Sorry I’ve been so absent; Auntie Squirrel was teaching me how to store nuts for winter.

He’s an adorable beaver, Marisa C. Photo by Mr. Beans.

Seal of Approval

Yes, it is I — the Seal of Approval, a benevolent spirit offering unconditional approval for every misstep, so your day doesn’t have to suck so much.

Say you overslept this morning? I approve. Burnt the French toast? J’approuve! Got the hiccups during the client presentation? Approve-o-rama!

Accidentally backed into a row of Harley-Davidsons, which toppled like dominoes onto a painter’s ladder, sending a can of Robin’s Egg Blue into a waiter’s tray at Saul Zapata’s Kosher Taqueria, which flung an entire order of sizzling gefilte-fajitas into a gentle arc over traffic and through the sunroof of a passing Mercedes?

Photo via Jack Zhang

Oh, the Hugged Manatee!

This little orphan isn’t a huge manatee, but she will be, thanks to the round-the-clock care of Sea World, which has rescued 23 manatees in 2010. The park hopes to return her to the wild once she’s big enough.

Nice work, Nick G. and everyone at Sea World.

Update: Scroll down for video! Thanks, X-girl!

Life Episode 4: Blorp

This second to last episode of Life, you will see some Blorp-tastic, sticky-eye-balled fish called “Mud Skippers”. They like to walk on land, breathe air, and shovel mud out of their houses with their moufs. They also make excellent mud wrestlers. Enjoy!

See more of Life here! [Say in Sir Oprah Attenborough voice]

Every Mackerel Within a 10-Mile Radius Smelled Like a Coconut

Unknowingly, Sandy set off a sequence of mini-environmental disasters after liberally applying  Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil.

Bain de Soleil would’ve turned the water orange, Ellen S.

Hindsight is 20/20

It was the first and last time Irving would agree to give Marge a piggy-back ride.

Good Nat Geo find, Marilyn T.

Photo by Ira Block

And Now It’s Time to Play ‘Pup or Seal?’

And our first contestant is Gravy, whose favorite foods are fish and steak, and whose favorite hobbies include chasing cars and balancing a ball on his nose!

Hmm — Tough call, Megan S.

Friday Haiku: Froggy Phone Home

Circles surround me

Should have listened to Kermit

Someone find Fozzy

tiny_frog_on_thumb

Have you thought of having thumb-reduction surgery, John P.?

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