Heeere I Come to Make a Salaaaaad!

By day, mild-mannered Hugh Manatee glides unnoticed among the krill, sturgeon, and trout going about their business in Aquaburg. But whenever sea life is threatened by injustice, whenever a shrimp cries out in terror, whenever bacon and tomato feel lonely and incomplete, Hugh Manatee becomes… The Lettuce Avenger!

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Columbus Zoo photo spotted by Carly Brooke of The Featured Creature.

Nosevember: Now With Even More Boogers Per Post!

15481535155_563d632829_oHere then, a little (Industrial-Strength) Kleenex™ will set you right, my Blorpy Buddy! From Rockhopper Jen F.’s Flickr page.

Blorp Spoken Here

_DSC6195Intrepid Cuteporter Jen F. continues to churn out the QTE, with another image from her January 2013 trip to Antarctica, South Georgia and the Falklands. Wonder what their snoring sounds like?

[*Note- LOUD. -Ed.]

Seal Trolls Puppeh, Film At Eleven

Watch this Prosh Bebeh Blorpster mess with this puppeh’s head with a game of hide and seek, in the River Thames near Greenwich, South East London.

Sealfie!

Selfie ! - Imgur[Disclaimer: Header totally borrowed from Reddit. -Ed.]

Walrus Intervention

[Listen. We’re here because we want to help get you off the kelp. You should be eating CLAMS! It’s really for the best.]

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(And hey, as long as we’re Talkin’ Blorp—how ’bout THIS Little Gonzo Wild Man?)

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Both photos from the NatGeo Instagram page as seen on BuzzFeed.

Friday Haiku: Hip Hip Hooray

Small blorpy hippo
Looks like The Michelin Man
Stole that from Gawker.

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Olivia is a newborn Swedish Pygmy Hippo, thus invoking DUAL RULES: Rule #07: “A thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is always Cute.” Rule #45: “Any animal with the word ‘pygmy’ in it is cute.”

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Me? Oh, Just Hangin’ Out…

[What about you. Whadya’ wanna do tonight- get some takeout bamboo?]

Hanging around
From Arbroath.

So A Police Officer Sees A Pickup Truck Full O’ Seals…

article-2715877-203C9D9800000578-708_964x616From the always reliable Mail Online comes this series of laughable (literally) shots of different types of seals, lying down on the job. Which is what they do best. (From Stacy S. of Newport OR; follow the joke in the hovers.)

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Diver Advisory Cautionary Warning Alert!

Due to the combined effects of acid rain, global warming, fracking runoff, radioactive fallout, burst sewage pipelines, and motor oil poured down storm drains, divers are advised that prolonged exposure to reef water may cause slight facial skin irritation.

Read more about it in The Mirror.

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