What Really Happened to Yakky Doodle

"So I says to him, I says, it’s no skin off my beak how he runs his business, but he oughta be more careful flashin’ that money around or the Feds are liable to learn how he’s been cookin’ the books all these years, which will also come as a bit of a surprise to his wife, since it’s how he’s been paying off that stripper in Reno to keep her mouth shut … say, we’re kinda deep in the forest — are you sure this is the way to the Greyhound station?"

And what are you doing with that shovel?

You didn’t see nuttin’, Holly P.

Duck Darwin Awards

Ducks have it rough in the big city, People. You remember this scene, right?

Well, gather ’round ’cause we have another applicant to the Duck Darwin awards. Sender-Inner Kathryn’s Mom writes:

"Something really amazing happened in Downtown Spokane this week and I had to share the story with you. [My colleague] Joel is a loan officer at Sterling [Savings] Bank. He works downtown in a second story office building, overlooking busy Riverside Avenue. Several weeks ago he watched a mother duck choose the cement awning outside his window as the uncanny place to build a nest above the sidewalk."

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"The mallard laid ten eggs in a nest in the corner of the planterthat is perched over 10 feet in the air. She dutifully kept the eggswarm for weeks and Monday afternoon all of her ducklings hatched."

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"Joel worried all night how the momma duck was going to get thosebabies safely off their perch in a busy, downtown, urban environment totake to water, which typically happens in the first 48 hours of a duckhatching."

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"Tuesday morning, Joel came to work and watched the mother duck encourage her babies to the edge of the perch with the intent to show them how to jump off!"

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"The mother flew down below and started quacking to her babies above. Inhis disbelief Joel watched as the first fuzzy newborn toddled to theedge and astonishingly leapt into thin air, crashing onto the cementbelow. He couldn’t watch how this might play out. He dashed out of hisoffice and ran down the stairs the sidewalk where the first obedientduckling was stumbling near its mother from the near fatal fall. Joellooked up. The second duckling was getting ready to jump!"

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"He quickly dodged under the awning while the mother duck quacked at himand the babies above. As the second one took the plunge, Joel jumpedforward and caught it with his bare hands before it hit the cement.Safe and sound, he set it by the momma and the other stunned sibling,still recovering from its painful leap."

Mom, my legs are smooshed to halfsize now, thanks A LOT.

"One by one the babies continued to jump to join their anxious family below. Each time Joel hid under the awning just to reach out in the nick of time as the duckling made its free fall."

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"The downtown sidewalk came to a standstill. Time after time, Joel wasable to catch the remaining 8 and set them by their approving mother."

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"At this point Joel realized the duck family had only made part of itsdangerous journey. They had 2 full blocks to walk across traffic,crosswalks, curbs, and pedestrians to get to the closest open water,the Spokane River."

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"The onlooking office secretaries then joined in, and hurriedly brought an empty copy paper box to collect the babies. They carefully corralled them, with the mother’s approval, and loaded them up into the white cardboard container. Joel held the box low enough for the mom to see her brood. He then slowly navigated through the downtown streets toward the Spokane River , as the mother waddled behind and kept her babies in sight. As they reached the river, the mother took over and passed him, jumping into the river and quacking loudly. At the water’s edge, the Sterling Bank office staff then tipped the box and helped shepherd the babies toward the water and to their mother after their adventurous ride."

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"All ten darling ducklings safely made it into the water and paddled upsnugly to momma duck. Joel said the mom swam in circles, looking backtoward the beaming bank workers, and proudly quacking as if to say,’See, we did it! Thanks for all the help!’"

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Did you sell the rights to LifeTime yet, Kathryn M.?

A Mean Trick to Play on a Chicken

(00:02) Wait for it …
(00:05) Wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-it for it …
(00:08) Al-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lmost time …
(00:10) WAKE UP!!  IT’S COLONEL SANDERS!!

(00:11) "Wha-huh?!"

Linux H4x0rs in thuh hizzle

Check this out, Linux Source magazine is getting its cute on with the July 2008 cover. Whoa! [Say in Keanu Reeves voice]

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C.O.X.L.M.C.U.:  Whooooaa!  [say in Mike Myers voice]

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Obligatory triumphant h4x0r:

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Scott N., thanks for the scr33n c4pp4g3!

[Here's the CO post shown on that cover, by the way.  Well spotted, Erin! - Ed.]

Try Gooseberries — New From Quaker!

Kids, start your day the Goose-er-iffic way, with new Quaker Gooseberries!  The sugar-frosted, vitamin-packed oat cereal with a FREE GOOSE in every box.  Collect the whole set!  It’s the Goose-tastic part of this good-for-you breakfast!

Remember: I'm the collectible; THAT'S the food.

Trade’ja two greys for that yellow, Luckypooka.

WHO’S PRETTY!?

Who’s pretty!? Who? Who? WHO!?

You are! you are!!! Flap flap flap

Mirror

Johanna S., YOU’RE the fairest of them all.

Sweet No-tingks [ORLY]

Bebeh, I lof you.

No, Bebeh, I lof you more.

No, I LOF YOU MORE

[crazy ball of feathers ensues]

Whisperingks

Exquisite eye capsule action, Jo-Anne F. who found these Little Owls at Hellio.

THIS JUST IN: Iowa pet rescutes

Man, Iowa is having a TOUGH time. The people, pets, everything. It is rough.

Thankfully, the Humane Society is on the scene, heroically saving pets from precarious situations, providing safety, shelter and reuniting folks with their ani-pals…

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[Dog is all 'Baroo!?!']

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[Kitties are all Pfffffffft!-pffffft!]

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Get an emergency plan together for your pets! Donate here to Humane Society Flood Fund!

That was a CLOSE CALL

WOO! [wiping brow] That was a CLOSE CALL.

It’s a good thing we found the real ending to that Kiwi movie.

I’ll put away the cryin’ Kleenex and antidepressants now, Quincy C.

Oh, and gas up the car before you come back

[Son] OK, Dad.

Happy Father’s Day to the BEST DAD OUT THERE, my very own Pops. XOXOXOXOXOX!

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