My Last Roommate Was Just Like This

Roomie: “So what’cha eatin’ there? Any good? I’m not partial to kibble, myself, but… Say, that’s not bad… Gosh, it’s such a nice day, let’s dine al fresco… I’ll just take this out to the veranda…”

Me: “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…”

Carl Kicked Himself for Saying, “When am I ever going to need to know this?”

Fuzzy Birds and SS Sailboat begin floating at the same time from opposite ends of a lake that is 30 miles long. Fuzzy Birds are floating at 6mph and SS Sailboat is floating at 10mph. How long after they begin will they meet?

Uh, guys…?

Don’t worry, SS Toy Sailboat, Sender-Inner May-Li K.! E-Birdman.

This Just In: Fake ‘Brows for Birds

I don’t know…I feel like I’m walking a fine line between street thug who’s about to steal your seed and mysterious hunk who asks you to join him for a nightcap.

Also makes for a fine fake mustache for hamsters, Sayaka C.

Meanwhile, at Jujube’s Holistic Chiropractor and Laundromat…

“Oh, thank you, doctor! My neck had been totally out of alignment, and it was really filling my chi flow with lots of dark energy. So, are my shirts ready?”

Sandy W. leaves us with an earworm: “The song ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’ by The Hollies came to mind when my husband showed me the picture.”

He’s Having Lunch with Chester Cricket in Times Square

What? It’s a perfectly economical way to get around the city!

I can’t believe nobody gave up a seat, Marjorie C. And, thanks for forwarding.

Peter & Peeps

This is the heart-warmin’ story of Peeps the Baby hummingbird, who fell out of his nest and injured his left wing. Peeps was lovingly nursed back to health and released back into the wild with help from Peter Tommerup and the Sulphur Creek Nature Center in Hayward, CA.

Film by Gary B. Sent in by Señor McBrinkersons of the iPad Report.

THIS JUST IN: An Epic Baroo

Boys and Girls! Your Glossary word for today is ‘Baroo.’

BAROO [BAH-ROO] (noun) (sound effect) A common animal look expressing: “Whut the…?” Frequently accompanied by a head tilt and/or wrinkled brow.

That’s the lesson for today, Teresa H.

Tough Fluff

Gah head, make an “I love shredding chicken” joke. I dare you.

Say, didn’t he play Bull on “Night Court”, Sara K.?

Welcome to my humble abode

Please! Make yourself comfortabuhls!

Amanda D., please remove your shoes upon entering.

Those Carrier Pigeons Just Get Smarter and Smarter

Why burden your beak when you can carry your scrolls in a JanSport?

Check out the actual story from NPR about how scientists are identifying dominant birds by placing GPS devices in – yes – backpacks. (Birds? GPS? Is this how they know how to poo smack-square on our heads?)

Forwarded by Elisabeth V.

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