Can’t bear the snow

What IS this cold white stuff? Thank God I’m wearing this faaaaaaaaabulous coat!

Via Niik’s Posterous.

I Can’t Bear to Look

First the good news:  Your job lets you cuddle with fuzzy wuzzy bear cubs.  Now for the “uh-oh” part:  You have to track down their mom across the snows of Maine, get her sedated (at least five Brandy Alexanders), give her and the kids a physical, and wrap it all up before the drugs wear off.  Sound like fun?

More photos and story about the Maine Bear Monitoring program here, hat tip to sender-inner Jackie.

Red Panda Monorail Delay

Attention Passengers.

There will be a 30-minute wait for the Dangling Paw Red Panda Monorail.

Please expect multiple bamboo-nomming delays. [sigh]

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Squirrel reinforcements are on their way with back-up nuts.*

Panda

*Wait What!?

Brian B. took these shots at the Smithsonian Zoo.

Bearlization

Check out this panda Mom, she’s all holding her head going: “I had this dream! This dream last night that I had a behbeh! It was so real!!!”

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BEAR-HANCE!

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Nice Panda molecule, Steve W.

The Panda Had the Right Idea

Damn it, Carl! Did you just eat peanut butter-covered anchovies? You know how allergic I am! Well, when you’re driving in rush hour traffic to take me to the emergency room, I hope this moment will be worth it for you!

Drive-by lickings are on the rise.

My God, Florence. Have you no control? I can’t even give you a simple hug without you blowing your backdoor trumpet. And no, calling them “misdirected burps” does not make them more endearing.

In an attempt to make a giant shadow puppet, they forgot one key element.

There has to be a way of getting out of going to Carl and Francine’s dinner party. Those two are bad enough, but throw in Florence and Hank…? I’d rather sit here alone and count cinder blocks.

I'd like to be alone for a little while, if you don't mind.

Photos courtesy of AP/San Diego Zoo/Tammy Spratt; AP/Martin Meissner; Reuters/Jason Lee

I Think Stephen Colbert Hacked This Post

Samantha and Honey Bear, sittin’ in a tree!
Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Enn-GEE!
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage the blood-curdling screams of AGONY at the razor-sharp claws of a godless KILLING MACHINE!!!1!  AUUUGGGHHH!!!

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Snorgling machine is more like it, Samantha B.

Greetings from Alternate Reality!

Weather very nice, except for Smurfsday, when it rained paper clips until purple o’clock… Went to the zooquarium and saw the polar sharks swimming in pea soup… Still can’t find a Starbucks anywhere…

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Wanna See the North Pole, Baby?

Hey, darlin’ — you’re so hot, you’re curing my frostbite!  You must be the leading cause of global warming, because my polar ice cap is melting, hun-nay!  Better call Santa, because I just saw what I want for Christmas!  So how’m I doin’ so far?

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He won’t respect you in the morning, Amanda T.

THIS JUST IN: Baby panda with milk mustache

BOOM!

Baby 2nd exam

According to Laura S., The San Diego Zoo is at it again with the behbeh bear action.

Ode to a Day Without Cats

A Day Without Cats? Can this be?
We must stop this catastrophe!

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Search everywhere, from up to down,
And don’t give up until they’re found!

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We’ll catacomb the countryside
To find out where our kitties hide.

Picture 7

Until we thwart this plan demonic
We’ll search until we’re catatonic!

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We love to hug and chase them so,
Please, Internet, don’t erase them! No!

Picture 8

Oh, heed our plaintive caterwaul,
Or life will be no fun at all.

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Photos: Burrowing Owl by Barloventomagico. Now I can see better by annkelliott, Meerkat Mischief by MorningThief581. Peek-a-Boo! by Somesay. Tin Head by Dragonfly_dreamer72 and Peek-a-Boo! by Gilles Gonthier.

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