Rules Of Cuteness

#61: If you use another animal as your bed, that’s cute.

#60: If bath-time reduces your total body matter by up to 50%, that’s cute.

#59: Non-conforming explosions of floof are cute. (AKA “The Tina J. Rule.”)

#58: If you’re flyin’ with one flap up, that’s cute. (AKA “The Paisley Rule.”)

#57: If you’re named after food, that’s cute.

#56: If your name has “Dumbo” in it, you’re cute.

#55: Legs like little sticks are cute. (Suggested by Matt S.)

#54: Throwing off a little Side-Eye is cute.

#53: If your (or someone else’s) ears or tail cover your face for the purposes of sleeping, that’s cute.

#52: If your paws fold over one another, that’s cute.

#51: Head To Body Ratio: If your head is exponentially larger than the rest of your entire body, that’s cute.

#50: A look of disapproval is always cute.

#49: If you curl up into a circle when you sleep, that’s cute.

#48: Tiny tongues are cute.

#47: Splayed haunch action is cute.

#46: A yin-yang position for two animals is cute.

#45: Any animal with the word “pygmy” in it is cute.

#44: Ears at 9 and 3 o’clock are cute.

#43: Protruding bottom lips are cute.

#42: Ears that flop over a leetle beet are cute.

#41: Exposing a vulnerable area is cute.

#40: Sleeping in a sunbeam is cute.

#39: Nuzzable mini-chests are cute.

#38: If you have a curved, plump belleh, it’s cute.

#37: If you tilt your head to a side, it’s cute.

#36: If your eyebrows go up in the center, it’s cute.

#35: If you gnaw on your own appendage, it’s cute.

#34: If your tail curls up, it’s cute.

#33: Your tail says “yes” but your ears says “nyerhe.”

#32: If you’re caught doing something bad, it’s cute.

#31: The “Stubbular” Stage of limbs is cute.

#30: If your breath shows in the form of your stomach moving in a quick fluttering fashion, it’s cute.

#29: If you flex your paws in a kneading motion in the air for no reason, it’s cute.

#28: If your head looks down, but your eyes look up, it’s cute.

#27: Chub (under-eye flubber) is cute.

#26: If you have 4 legs and can tuck yourself in, it’s cute.

#25: Dangling paws are cute.

#24: Suction cups for hands are cute.

#23: Knobbular knees are cute.

#22: Curled-up or tucked paw is cute.

#21: Eye capsules are cute.

#20: Showing your paw pads is cute.

#19: Dainty paws are cute.

#18: Teeny tails are cute.

#17: Tiny ears are cute.

#16: Keep your eyes at the height of your nose *and* have a five-head (large forehead) and make sure your body is as tall as your head.

#15: Disproportionate ratio between relative ear to head size.

#14: If an everyday, small item makes you look small, it’s cute.

#13: “Juicy” eyes & noses are cute.

#12: Fuzzy, floppy limbs are cute.

#11: A cute animal + food = even cuter.

#10: If you haven’t grown into your feet yet, it’s cute.

#09: Piles of a cute thing jack up a cuteness rating exponentially.

#08: If you are small enough to use another animal’s ear as a blanket, it’s cute. (Suggested by Hilz)

#07: A thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is always cute. (See graph #4 here for third party validation.)

#06: Mimicking humans is cute.

#05: Fisheye lens + baby animal is always cute.

#04: More than one species of baby flopping around is cute.

#03: An inquisitive look is cute.

#02: Looking helpless is cute.

#01: Putting a paw up is cute.


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