Pachyderm Don’t Play that Way

It happened so fast that he barely heard the massive snorf or felt the violent whoosh of air. But when he looked down, Paul realized that his entire forearm had been sucked up her trunk, and the look in her eyes said, “I don’t have to give it back, you know.” It was the first and last time Paul would play “I got your nose!” with Ellafante.

Oh honey, you best let go of that peanut if you want to keep your dignity.

That’s a risky little game, Christoph G.

Like we’re going to wait to Mother’s day to post this

Starting right meow, we’re posting kittens whenever we like. We’re not waiting for special holidays or Caturdays to roll around. It’s meow or never Mother’s Day! Hurry up meow!

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Not so funny meow is it Amy S.?

Time for the C.O. Traffic Report

This is “Captain” Lance Monkeypants in CuteCopter One, and we’re getting reports of puppies attacking cars on the southbound I-812 at Bleen Street.  This is a multiple-puppy situation, very aggressive, and they are simply not letting any car get past them, so drivers are advised to use surface streets until further notice.

Now over to Ellie B. with the weather!

Well, Blow Me Down!

Avast there, ye sea dogs!  Just because I’ve only got one eye, ye’ve got no call ta be throwin’ me in the trash with the rest of the bilge water!  That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!  (Now where did I put me spinach?)

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Have you considered adding an eye patch and a parrot, Laura S.?

Encore (Kinda): Orangutan and Hound

A while back, Meg featured some orangumazing photos of Suryia and Roscoe, the orangutan and hound-dog buddies.  Now, thanks to sender-inner Marilyn T., you can see the heartwarming story of how they met.  On your mark, get set, awwww!

I said PEPPERONI AND EXTRA CARROTS

They never listen—watch, it’s gonna arrive with broccoli on it.

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Sorry about your Bunday, Annie T.

Before & After: Couch Swallowing

BEFORE!

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AFTER!

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HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN Marissa Q.!?

Are the H1N1 shots ready yet!?

This thing is really getting in the way of my alfalfa nomming.

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Des M., you might want to try an apple a day, as a precaution.

Hon, where’d the crackers go—HEY!

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[chipmonnk voice] “Oh, were you gonna eat this?”

C.O.X.G.C.U.

Surely you can spare one, Julia G.?

Going to the Moon BRB

KTHXBYE!

George

Tia A. claims George (tinfoil) and Olive (bed) are astronauts, and that some guy named Jonathan took this picture. I’ll call LOL-NASA to double check her sources.

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