THIS JUST IN: Trying to eat a care-care

Must…kronsche!
Must… use lucky foot!
Eyeballs! Focusingk! Ears! Wobbling!
Ehhhhhhhn!

Another weird moment brought to you by Google alerts.

The Job Starts at Home

Sender-Inner Heather C. says:

I was standing in line at the local shelter waiting to get a volunteer application, some lady dropped [these kittens] off. She found them in an abandoned house and was surrendering them to the shelter.

She continues:

Upon learning that they would be euthanized that day (since they are too young for the shelter staff to take care of at 3 weeks) she turned around to me, a complete stranger, and begged me to take them. And of course, how could I say no?!

Sorry, This Hat Is Taken

Whuh?  Aww, do I have to?  I just got comfortabuhls!

I don’t care if it matches your purse, I’m using it right now!

Why don’t you wear your “souvenir of Miami Beach” cowboy hat with the pink flamingo design?  You used to love that hat, and I think it sets off the blue in your jacket with the mumbity farble arrgth zzzzzzzzz…

Let it go, Danny Y.—it’s gone.

Maybe a Four-Leaf Clover Behind the Ear and a Horse Shoe Around the Neck Will Help

Are they still considered lucky if you can’t find the feet?

Take cover – there’s a hare storm, Katherine G!

Wait, Here Comes My Favorite Part

“(…oh yes, he’s using the drill now… Wow, that must be a really big cavity… Mmnn, I just love it when the patients claw into the armrests like that… OK, it’s time to rinse; ooh, I’ll bet the water in that hose is really cold…)”

I’ll Also Need a Booster Seat and a Step Ladder, Thanks

Famed critic Anton made a surprise visit to Le’zard and ordered the oddly-paired beluga-stuffed roasted root vegetable appetizer. While delicious, he did have one criticism: the portions were a bit large.

No elbows on the table, but feets are allowed, MissyPantOne?

Minimum Horse, Maximum Horseplay

Check out Stuart Little, a baby miniature horse practicing soccer, and… saaay, I just had an idea:  What if there was a game, kinda like soccer, but it had horses in it, and they ran around a field knocking a ball back and forth?

Naaah, it’d never catch on.

And if we had a pool, Bridget W., we could play water polo!

“Did I ever tell you about the time…”

Oh boy, here we go again. What IS it with this guy and his boring stories? Am I supposed to be impressed by the fact that he drove all the way to Home Depot without hitting a single red light?

You know what, I can’t take it anymore – wake me when you’re done talking, Speaky O’Snoresies.

It’s like being stuck in the window seat next to Kenny Bania on a red-eye, Gumbo.

Thank You For Flying Air Cygnus

Please locate the closest exit under each wing. In the event of a water landing, I am a flotation device.

Spotted by Amy C. (Story and extra photo at the Daily Mail)

Hurry, the Race Is Starting!

Somebody hitch up the humans!

Better do as Mick says, Mardell C. — we wouldn’t want to appear Idita-rude.

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