And now, Garden Gab with Gertie Glotz

Greetings, green-thumbers! Last week, we learned how to dislodge a cactus from your backside, but this week it’s time to welcome the first blooms of spring!

When transplanting, be careful to (Psst! We’re taping a show here)… Soil should contain generous amounts of (If you’re hungry, there’s a buffet at the crafts table)… Water thoroughly, taking care to (Look, I’m not telling you again!)… Finally, using a trowel… (Call security!)

Brooke B. says: “So here I was, snapping some pics of the first flowers of spring, and what do I see? Trouble! That’s our cat, Honey, trying to nom on my flowers!”

Interuppta my nap, I breaka your face

Listen man, I ain’t no slow loris, so don’t do anything you’ll regret; I don’t wanna have to introduce your face to my pink pads.

Do it, Jenn C. And send video.

The Bachelor’s Nose Ceremony

Chip was no lothario, and he was a genuine fluffball of nerves when it came to professing his feelings to the feline; so he decided to take a Happy Pill to try and relax. In hindsight, he should’ve only taken half.

“Hello, my furry light bulb! So shiny! Would you like a Mentos? They are LOVE flavored! I’ll give you ALL my love Mentos, because I love you, unicorn! I had me at hello!”

Cute – but weird – couple, Alexander G.

Not sold in stores! Order now!

His music has touched millions the world over… and now Q-Tel Records brings you all the romantic moods of Zamfir, Master of the Pan Floof! Enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime treasury of all-time classic love songs, including:

Careless Whisker • Un-fur-gettable • Ah, Sweet Mouse-tery of Life • and more!

Call now! Carmen D. is standing by!

Hedge Fund Investor

“Oh hai, I’d like to make a deposit. Ehn!” [shoves coin forward]

Another quality foraged link from Ant! [AQFL]

Seal Bomb

[Who needs another BOOOORING photo of penguins? Look over here!]

Mika W. says Squirrel Bomb is sooo 2009.

Hamster-sized Caesar Salad

For this episode of  Cookin’ For Hamsters you will need:

1 Cucumber
1 Hard-boiled Egg
1 slice, Gouda cheese
1 slice, Ham
1 bunch Parsley (fresh)
1 slice bread, toasted (for croutons)
3 Pinenuts


BON APÉTIT!

You’ve have some serious mini-culinary talents, Mathijs. See more of Lucy’s culinary delights over at The HamsterTracker.

Must Be Office-Party-Friday-O’Clock

Who among us hasn’t taken a hit of nitrous oxide, climbed into an empty bowl and laughed his ass off?

See more hilarity here and here. If he starts huffing, be concerned, Katey C.

Oh My God, That Pumpkin Ate Kitty!

October 31st, 2009…

March 12, 2010…

OH-MY-GOD-I-CAN’T-EAT-ANOTHER-FREAKING-PUMPKIN-SEED-SOMEONE-LET-ME-OUT-OF-THIS-OF-PSYCHOTIC-GOURD!!!!!

That is one crafty pumpkin. In fact, even its expression changed, Julie S. Photo by Brad Mears.

Spring Forward, Fall Down

Just a reminder, U.S. cuteologists: Daylight Saving Time begins tomorrow at 2 AM, so be sure to set your clocks ahead one hour (and shift your bed about six inches to the ri… oops, never mind).

Thanks to Neopatra for sharing this in a recent comments thread.

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