Kids! Come on!

“We still have the Empire State building and the Statue of Liberty to visit before we catch the train back to Pittsburgh!”

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Monica M. we are on a schedule! Go!

Lookalikes: Kitteh from yesterday and Thom Yorke

Well lookie here!

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Q.E.D. Jen S!

13-day-old Panda ‘tocks

While watching the San Diego Zoo Panda Cam, alert reader “La Jolla Seal” snapped these tiny Panda ‘tocks in the up position.

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Excellent work, my cuteporter. exxxxcellent.

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Leftover Kitten Paw

This is just like every Ikea bookshelf you’ve ever assembled–there’s always one part left over.  In this case, it’s the paw of yesterday’s ad-libbing kitten in the pictures sent by Kelly H.  I couldn’t work it into the narrative, but it’s too cute not to use.

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Today on “This Old Box”

Well, the recession may have hit some of us kinda hard, but you can still be a handyman no matter where you are.  So, on today’s show, I’ll be mixing a half bag of flour and a broken bottle of Kayo syrup into a durable all-weather sealant.  Later, I’ll show you how to turn an old license plate into a distinctive end table.

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I’m not only the Hair Club President…

I’m….

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I’m…

I’m also a client.

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Just let it gooooo, Momo H.

Your story has become tiresome

No, I don’t have a CD in my mouth.

Your story is just really boring.

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Beth T. says Molly has had it with your lonnnng explanations.

Catford Brimley says:

“I didn’t go to high school. I think that after you learn to read and write and do your numbers and flush the toilet behind yourself, you don’t need no more schoolin’. You need to get out in the water and swim.”

“I resent the fact that people in places like Boston, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco believe that they should be able to tell us how to live our lives, operate our businesses, and what to do with the land that we love and cherish.”

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“I’ve taken on a little bit of self-discipline that I never had before. In general, I’m looking after myself more. I do the blood tests about five times a day and inject my insulin twice a day, delivered by Liberty, of course.”

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Taffy the Wilford Brimleh impersonator by Christine M. Sent in by Winston Challenger Anna B.!

You’ll Never Nurse in This Town Again

(OK, when I call “Action,” you just turn and read what’s on the card. All right?)

Sure, no problem. Let’s do this.

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(Fine. And … action!)

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Friends, has your mom been tasting a little rancid lately?

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(Wait, that’s not what it says on the…)

I mean not just a bit sour, but that full-on chalky mix of week-old milk, with a hint of tobacco and sardines that just makes you want to toss your cookies, am I right?

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(Uh, if we could just stick to the script here…)

That’s why our mom drinks Schblatz Beer!

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(That’s not even the sponsor! What the hell are you…)

Only Schblatz is double-brewed to be double-smooth, with the taste kitties love…

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(Somebody call Security!)

So treat your mom to a cool, refreshing Schblatz! She’ll love it–and so will you!

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(… and then call Kelly H. in the Casting Office and tell her she’s fired!)

Oh Great and Terrible Monkey God…

… who nourishes our forest with gentle life-giving rains,
… who blesses us with interesting feet that can grab things,
… who makes heavy the trees with delicious fruits that are very hard to open,
… who causes the theme from “The Benny Hill Show” to reverberate inside our tiny heads whenever we frolic and scamper through the treetops,

… all glory and pudding be upon thee, forever and ever, aaaaaaaa-monnnnk…

Guess what?  MONKEY BUTT!

(OK, this is an ape, not a monkey, but we like the sound of “monkey butt,” so deal.)