Mutiny on the HMS Beagle

Let’s be clear: I’m the captain of this vessel, and what I say, goes! If you agree to this term, then by all means feed me a piece of bacon, climb aboard, and…prepare yourself for the most exhaustively relaxing sail of your life.

My God, that floating gull is coming dangerously close! Collision imminent! Reel in the jib and prepare to come about!

I asked you to pull in the jib, passenger! Perhaps you’re aren’t fluid in “I’m-Smarter-Than-You-And-You-Will-Do-What-I-Say”?

Fine. Discard my ingenious system of levers and pulleys and revert to your rudimentary paddle, you smug imbecile! But know this: I shall revert as well, and you will soon find yourself settled among many, many “accidents”.

Oscar was a winner, Leanne D.

The Bob Ross of Dioramas

Today we’ll be working on “The Bobbsey Twins: The Talking Fox Mystery”. First, we’re gonna take this very happy little tree and attach it to our shoebox…

Frieda is industrious, Anastasia E.

Well, This is Humiliating

Here I am sitting in my high chair like any other rabbit, and nobody bothered to tell me that I have food on chin?

No bib, Ethan I.? And lovely photo stylings, Chief Sister.

The Story of the Hungry Feroshus Bear

By Jeffery Osterblaargh, Mrs. McNulty’s Sekond Grade

Ok so this is astory about the time that I ate a humin bean all by myself. Wun day I was hungry. And there was this humin bean walking down the street.

And so I desided to eat him for dinner. Because I am a feroshus pradider pridit eating bear and because everybody is skeerd of me because I am so mean.

The humin bean was skeerd. He tried to get away but I was to big and strong for him. He cried and cried for help, but I dint listen because I was so hungry.

And he was so delishus that next I ate a whole busload of first graders, and then I ate a kangaroo, and my piano teacher, and Batman, and some ice cream, and…

I hear that special school’s really nice, Maggie S.

Attack-in-the-Box

A cautionary reminder, gentle reader: Wherever boxes are casually unpacked and tossed aside, there lies in wait the silent assassin, who strikes unseen with surgical precision. The merciless fiend known only as… Sniper Kitty.

Gorilla Side-eye

Check out this ‘I’m not having it’ pregnant Gorilla at the Bronx Zoo action:

Ah-uhn!!!

According to photographer, Inspirerer and Sender-Inner Jackie D., “I think I found the most disapproving gorilla on the planet.”

What Happens When Kittens Party

WOOOO!!! Look at me! I’m partying so hard, the lampshade is wearing ME as a hat!!! WOOOO!!!

Sheli W., you got your hands full, Girl.

Bug-a-pillar? Cat-a-bug? Larv-a-pupe?

What kind of bug is this guy?

Check him out he’s all: “I’m going to grow into a beautiful—WAIT I DON’T KNOW!”

What should we call him, Peeps!?

Fiona L. has more bug-a-pics here.

Watch for the hug 20 seconds in!

Let’s get huggular. AT TWENTY SECONDS IN!

Hey Kristin P., Smeagol just gives and gives, doesn’t he?

Why We Love Cute Animals Online

THIS JUST IN! [waving Press hat] CNN special correspondent Damon Brown has included Cute Overload in his chronicle of why every generation needs some cute.

In short? Kittens are a refuge from “terrorism, Afghanistan and the Gulf oil spill.” Roger that.

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