That’s Knot Funny

For today’s busy serial prankster, the most important skill to master is time management.  For example, tie your victim’s shoelaces together first; this will keep him engaged and distracted, giving you time to short-sheet his bed, fill the sugar bowl with salt, and hide his car keys.

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Check the sofa for whoopee cushions, Claire C.
Photo by Angelo Sotira.

Winston’s Annual Showering of love

Winston is perfect in every way, but occasionally needs a scrubbin’. Annually. Check out Winston’s bath time—he exhibits fewer cranky meows than usual, but satisfies with a lack-of-fluff-to-huge-eyes ratio.

Rich over at FourFour, you can wrap us up in a blankie eh-nee-time.

It holds cards, cash…plink-plink…and keys.

While useful, there was something slightly disturbing about her new fanny pack that Sheila couldn’t quite put her finger on.

You complete me.

Amelie B., it would be an honor to name him Hawkeye.

Greetings from Alternate Reality!

Weather very nice, except for Smurfsday, when it rained paper clips until purple o’clock… Went to the zooquarium and saw the polar sharks swimming in pea soup… Still can’t find a Starbucks anywhere…

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Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail Don’t Have This Problem

Like I told James Lipton: On one foot, was it the role of a lifetime? Absolutely – I owe Beatrix a great deal. But on the other, I can really deal without the paparazzi.

Are you telling me that not only was I on TMZ, but they also identified me as a capybara named Mr. McGregor? Get my agent on the horn.

Be vehwy, vehwy quiet, Alex M.

Don’t make me say it

What should I title this post. Whaaaaaaat should I title it? I must think hard about a reference for this peckish pygmy. I can’t think of anything! If only I could reference a ridiculous, aggressive marble-munching game from my childhood!

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Via The Bobbeh Implosion who found this on a sweet lil’ Tumblog called You’re a Strange Animal.

Don’t Get Swell-Headed, But You’re Cute

Sender-inner Tiffiny R. proposes a new Rule of Cuteness™:  If your food is bigger than you are, it’s cute, which contradicts the earlier rule: Never eat anything bigger than your head and other drawings.  (We’re still not sure how the other drawings factor into it.)

Baby Squirrel Bottle-Fed

‘TocktoberFest

Welcome to ‘Tocktober, People. Now put on your Bonnie Raitt wig (I know you have one) and sing it with me!

Turtles are tockin’, tockin’ ’bout turtles,
This one needs Shoehab, would you believe it?

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And then these bunnies, doin’ one-eighty,
Try to ignore it but they keep singin’…

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‘Tocks just a little too round,
‘Tocks just a little too close,

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You stare just a little too long.
Maybe you’re seein’, same thin’ we do darlin’.

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [stoats singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [hamsters singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooocks?

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I feel so foolish, I never noticed
Your ‘tocks are bulbous, could you be posin’ for me?
It took this website to make me wonder,
Now I’m convinced that I’m goin’ under.

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Thinkin’ ’bout ‘em every day,
Dreamin’ ’bout ‘em every night.
I’m hopin’ that they feel the same way,
But that’s impossible—’tocks can’t have feelin’s darlin!

Picture_4

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup]
A little mystery to figure out
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baby seals singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooooooocks?

Picture_5

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about babe,
A little bee butt to figure out.
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about,
How ’bout buttooooooocks? Ooh…

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Listen to ‘em baby
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup again]

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A little tailio won’t hurt ‘em
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baboons singing backup]

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Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How about love, love, spots, and love

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Whoowhoo mmmm hey oohh whoowhoo
About love, love, love, love

How about they ‘tock about it? uh huh
‘Tock about love……..

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Apologies to Bonnie Raitt. Take a bow, ‘Tocktober! Excellent pic spotting, Chief Sister Officuh.

Turtle ‘Tocks by Kasey S., Bun’Tocks by Debra R., elephant log ‘tocks by Sheri, Frog ‘Tocks by Mary Jo E., Sprawled Bunneh ‘Tocks by Heather R., French Bulldog ‘Tocks photo by Carolyn M. sent in by Carolyn C. NBC ‘Tocks by Elena A., Bee ‘Tockage by Uncle Andrew, Alpaca Night ‘Tocks by Julie K., Duck! Duck! ‘Tocks! by Melissa S., Pan-‘Tocks by Roxanne S., Giraffe ‘Tocks by Kellene F., ‘Phant ‘Tocks Sent in by Kate E. taken by Carolyn G.

In two weeks, she hopes it looks like a macadamia nut.

Ever since Eveyln said her ass was the size of an acorn, Ruth had exhausted herself doing Pilates.

My Tae-Bo tapes arrive in a week.

Self-conscious squirrels are a sad breed, Maggie H.

Help me out, man

You want my boots, I’ll give you my boots. Anything, man. Just give me a little something to get me through the day…

"Oh. My. God. I die. That's bananas. Shut it down."

In no way do I mean to imply that your rescue cat has a meth problem, Suzi H.