‘Tocks ‘n’ Pads

[Sing to the tune of 'Cups and Cakes' by Spinal Tap]

‘Tocks ‘n’ pads, ‘tocks ‘n’ pads
Oh what naps this puppeh’s had!
If you’ve got to honk-shu, a striped carpet will do,
Find a nice bright sunbeam too

‘Tocks ‘n’ pads, ‘tocks ‘n’ pads
Biscuit-shaped toes are really rad
Got no visible tail, cuteness we all hail,
Sending a smooch priority mail

Chow and kibble, leg of lamb
"Yes please, sir" and "Thank you, ma’am"
Shiba cam

‘Tocks ‘n’ pads, ‘tocks ‘n’ pads
Pour some Ranch on your sal-ad
How sad it must "end"
But I’m glad I’d a friend
Sharing ‘tocks and padswith me
And pads with me…

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Melina A., hopefully you and your Boston Terrier are singin’ along…

 

Stowaways!

"I gotta get outta this country, Bruce!  The sunshine, the great surfing, the hot Sheilas — it’s all too perfect!"

"Bloody oath, Bruce!  What’s the plan, then?"

And so then we (huzza wuzza fluzza guzza) ...

"We hang out by the airport, hop in some luggage, and shoot through to America!"

"Good onya, Bruce!  Minnesota, here we come!"

Remember, if anyone asks, you're a blow dryer.

Some folks just can’t handle awesomeness, Dan B.

The Chosen Puppeh!

Many of you followed great interest the story about Martha Stewart’s quest for a new puppeh. We have an update!

As you recall, ever since Martha’s sweet pup Paw Paw passed away in April ’08, Martha has been searching for a Chow Chow, and has finally found one!

Introducing… one of Paw Paw’s grandson’s… Genghis Khan!

Saharasboyatalmost7weeks2

[and two of his sisters:]

SaharasgirlsontheporchSaharastwogirlsalnost7weeksold_2

Back to Genghis in all his square-faced, Mongolian conquering glory!

Saharasson

Sender-Inner Eliad! WHAT A WONDERFUL CHOICE! This pup is too prosh for words! Check out Martha’s blog for more puppeh adventures…

Mr. and Mrs. Nutria Start Their Day

"Bye, honey! (kiss, kiss!) Have a great day (smooch!) foraging and digging up gardens! (yumm, smack!)"

"Will do, sweetie! (peck!) And make sure that Junior (slurp, lick!) finishes his burrowing homework! (umm-waah!)"

No tongues!

I’m getting chapped lips just watching them, Minette L.

Well, Hi-De-Ho There, Neighbor!

“Golly, pleased ta meet’cha, don’tcha know!  My name is Gunderson, Betty Gunderson, and this is my husband, Laars, and we just moved into the house on the corner, and by gosh, this is such a great neighborhood, it sure is, I was just telling Laars how lucky we are to be here with the great schools and shopping and being off the main road away from the noise and all, and so what do you do for a living, then?  Oh my goodness, well that’s just fascinating, say maybe you and the family wanna come over for dinner tonight, won’t be nothing fancy, just tuna hot dish and salad, and if you wanted to bring something, maybe you could bring over a little drawn butter and lemon, that would be just super, so we’ll see you at seven then?”

I'm just so pleased to eat -- er, MEET ya!

There goes the neighborhood, C. B.

Plumber Mouse has both a crack and advice

"Ma’am, I think I see the problem here."

"Oh, and nice matches, heh."

Plungermousefull

"What you have here is a typical Flapper ball rupture. These are common on newer flush valves and are connected to the handle lift arm with a lift chain."

Plungermousefromabove

"We’ll fix ‘er up real nice with a float ball connected to the handle lift arm by a lift wire that runs through a guide arm attached to the overflow pipe." 

Plungermouseclose

Mmmmmkay, Kate and Jeff? [tiny mouse paw hands you a serious bill]

Freshly-borned Capuchin is a skosh grumpy

This one-day-old baby Capuchin monkeh is all:

"It is ENTIRELY too bright out here! Turn out the lights! Get me a sleep mask, SOMETHING! OMG PEOPLE!"

THIS JUST IN: Sea Otter Pup Takes Water Nap

[Pulls kelp blanket over head]

Honk-shuuuuu [causes tiny bubbles]

Sea Otter Pup by the fabulous mbavolunteer.

This octopus is such a chick!

Check out this ‘eyelashed’, small-moufed, pink CHICK!

She’s all; "Step aside and watch me text eight people at once, Bitches!"

Oct

OMG, Catrina C.!

Work That Mistletoe, Sister!

All right, ladies!  The Yuletide season is upon us, and that means plenty of holiday parties with cute guys, dark hallways — and lots and lots of mistletoe!  Keep your lips lively this Christmas with these time-honored mistle-tips:

  • Be casual.  Don’t stand directly under the mistletoe; that looks desperate.  Stand just enough to one side so that you look like you just happen to be there.
  • Adopt a mysterious, far-away gaze, as if you were standing alone on a moonlit shore, yearning for your lover on the far horizon.
  • Purse your lips ever so slightly — not too much to be obvious, but enough to encourage him to make that first move.

CORRECT TECHNIQUE:

Take me now, and we will fly as one to a realm of bliss and enchantment.

INCORRECT TECHNIQUE:

HHHHEEEEEYYY, SUGAR BUNS -- WANNA SUCK FACE?

Thanks to the oh-so-kissable Ash for the instructional photos.