I Once Caught a Cat This Big

Aye-yup, caught this sucker ’bout twenny miles offa the Cape, coupla summers ago.  We was just ‘spectin’ ta catch a few Siamese, they like ta school out that way, ya know, but then I get this big tug on my line, damn near yanked me right offa the boat!

So Brian says it looks like an Orange Spotbelly, you hardly ever see them up this far North, and so I gotta reel it in careful-like, because my line ain’t rated for a cat that big, ya know.  An’ o’course it’s fighting me all the way, hissin’ an’ thrashin’ about an’ spittin’ hairballs like they do…

Well, we finally land the beast and head back for the docks so’s we can get it measured for the record books, and of course everybody’s gotta get their picture taken with the damn thing.  Anyway, that’s it over the mantel, f’ya don’t believe me.

I once caught a mouse THIS BIG!

Lauren B. notes that “William” was just one year old when this was taken, so we assume he’ll be visible from space before long.

Tbbbbppppft!

I will not!

I won’t !

You can’t make moi! Etc.!

Tbbbbppppft!

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Madagascar Lemur by Sandrine Vuillermoz. Another fine selection from the National Geographic Photo contest. Yes, you can enter your photos, yes, you could win a LEICA D-LUX 4 camera! But hurry, like ‘Tocktober, contest closes 10/31.

Cow Eye Side Eye

OMG, you did NOT just do that. Embarrrrasssing! [Singsong]

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Another stellar entry over at the National Geographic Photo Contest. This one is by Dana Styber!

A Cowham’s Lament

I’m an old cowham, just a-riding ’round the land
Got a toothpick in my mouth and a lasso in my hand
Gotta round up all the piggies, keep an eye out for the strays,
‘Cuz they’s orn’ry little critters, runnin’ every which-a-ways.

So it’s chase ‘em down and land ‘em, tie ‘em up and brand ‘em,
Some days ya gotta love ‘em, and others ya can’t stand ‘em.
Gotta drive ‘em cross the prairie, forty mile to get your pay,
Then we spend it all in town, chompin’ corn and brocc-a-lay…

Yo-de-layyyyyy… yee-haaaayyyy… de-hooooooo!

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Guinea Pig Rodeo ~ Piórko & poor Balbinka by pyza*

Much Like the Rhythm, the Shame is Gonna Get You

Just as he did every afternoon, Sanford told his friends he was headed out to the river to relax while listening to Bach and Mozart. He didn’t like to lie, but the shame of the truth was too great: Alone on the waters, he’d place those ear phones on his head, and disappear in the sweet, sweet sounds of (similarly coiffed) Richard Marx.

Maybe I'll be able to patch that hole in Ma's washtub with some of Wendell's mashed potatoes.

And, you’re welcome:

I turn my nose up at the Riverbottom Nightmare Band.

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you, Angie C.

I Am Zorgulon, Lord of Hummingbirds!

Earthlings beware! When I wear my Mask of HummingPower, I can communicate telepathically with these small yet deadly creatures, transforming them into an unstoppable army with which I shall conquer the world!  Soon, puny Earth creatures shall kneel before me, or such a poking you’re gonna get!  (Evil laughter!)

Bono, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Elvis Costello, Phil Collins, Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, and Bob Geldof are on Stand-By

It’s rumored that Bono has already written the lyrics; and if he stops conducting foreign policy initiatives for the White House, you know the situation must be dire. Poor little Topper. One minute he’s playing with abandon, the next he’s falling down a well into a cardboard box.

Listen furless beings, can’t you see I’m trying to take a nap here?

'It puts the lotion in the basket?' You can put whatever the hell you want in your basket, I'm going to sleep.

Sing as many songs about me as you like – I don’t care. Just don’t tell that Angelina Jolie about this. She’ll see I’m sleeping on kitchen towels, assume I need rescuing, and before I know it, my name will be changed to Toppox.

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

What do you use to wash dishes, Kat C.?

Knock-Knock!

Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Isabelle!  (Isabelle who?)
Isabelle broken or something?  How come I gotta knock?

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Annie!  (Annie who?)
Annie thing you can do, I can do better!

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Norma Lee!  (Norma Lee who?)
Norma Lee this is where I deliver the punchline!

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Toyota!  (Toyota who?)
Toyota be a law against bad knock-knock jokes!

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There’s something fisheye going on here, Sanchia T.

This is an officially sanctioned Cute Overload “Knock-Knock Jokes” thread!

ORNK ORNK!

You gotta love this lil’ Galapagos seal pup, he’s all concentrating on mutating into a cuter version of himself over time and stuff, waiting for Darwin to write a book about him.

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Photo by Stuart Leslie. Did you know you could enter the International Photo Contest over at National Geographic!? Then, after that, download this prosh-leaf-dweller wallpaper!

DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR?!

Are you an insane Cute Overload fan?

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Do you sneep out the pics from the calendar and adorn your desk?

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Do you fill your cube with Cuteness so your boss is distracted when asking about your deadlines?

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Do your pets look at you longingly when you show them the 2009 Cute Overload calendar?

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Congratulations you are our TARGET MARKET! Submit your photos now for the 2011 (yes 2011) Cute Overload Calendars! We’re accepting the HIGHEST resolution you GOT, right now! Frakking go for it, People!

Special thanks to Jo and Vincent; calendar models, Brooke B. (the wall!) and Nate B. (the office décor!)