Bono, Sting, Stevie Wonder, Elvis Costello, Phil Collins, Cyndi Lauper, Willie Nelson, and Bob Geldof are on Stand-By

It’s rumored that Bono has already written the lyrics; and if he stops conducting foreign policy initiatives for the White House, you know the situation must be dire. Poor little Topper. One minute he’s playing with abandon, the next he’s falling down a well into a cardboard box.

Listen furless beings, can’t you see I’m trying to take a nap here?

'It puts the lotion in the basket?' You can put whatever the hell you want in your basket, I'm going to sleep.

Sing as many songs about me as you like – I don’t care. Just don’t tell that Angelina Jolie about this. She’ll see I’m sleeping on kitchen towels, assume I need rescuing, and before I know it, my name will be changed to Toppox.

All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.

What do you use to wash dishes, Kat C.?

Knock-Knock!

Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Isabelle!  (Isabelle who?)
Isabelle broken or something?  How come I gotta knock?

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Annie!  (Annie who?)
Annie thing you can do, I can do better!

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Norma Lee!  (Norma Lee who?)
Norma Lee this is where I deliver the punchline!

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Knock-knock!  (Who’s there?)
Toyota!  (Toyota who?)
Toyota be a law against bad knock-knock jokes!

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There’s something fisheye going on here, Sanchia T.

This is an officially sanctioned Cute Overload “Knock-Knock Jokes” thread!

ORNK ORNK!

You gotta love this lil’ Galapagos seal pup, he’s all concentrating on mutating into a cuter version of himself over time and stuff, waiting for Darwin to write a book about him.

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Photo by Stuart Leslie. Did you know you could enter the International Photo Contest over at National Geographic!? Then, after that, download this prosh-leaf-dweller wallpaper!

DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR?!

Are you an insane Cute Overload fan?

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Do you sneep out the pics from the calendar and adorn your desk?

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Do you fill your cube with Cuteness so your boss is distracted when asking about your deadlines?

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Do your pets look at you longingly when you show them the 2009 Cute Overload calendar?

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Congratulations you are our TARGET MARKET! Submit your photos now for the 2011 (yes 2011) Cute Overload Calendars! We’re accepting the HIGHEST resolution you GOT, right now! Frakking go for it, People!

Special thanks to Jo and Vincent; calendar models, Brooke B. (the wall!) and Nate B. (the office décor!)

Like My New Perfume?

It’s called “Delirious,” essence of rotting leaves with just a hint of dead squirrel. The saleslady at Macy’s spritzed me with some, and I just had to have it!

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Eau de humanity, Micah C.

Meanwhile, at the Jerry Lewis Safari Park and Nature Preserve…

Oh, look at the smiling people, they are making with the pointing at me and the clicking with the cameras, I — ahh, aaahhh… FNNURRPHHTTPHHTTHHT!

Owww, my nose made a loud bang and now there is a hurting and itchy feeling and the nice people are laughing at me, mooooommyyyyyyyyyy!

That’ll Do Pig, That’ll Do

Winnie the Pig had a date. A hot date. It was his first in weeks, and since he wasn’t about to go and blow it, he had to make sure everything was just right. So obviously, he brought in reinforcements:

Listen, if it was your intention to bathe in Drakkar Noir and possibly kill your date with cheesiness, then you exceeded expectations. I mean, I think my nose may have stopped twitching.

I'm not one to talk about unmanicured feets, but it looks like you stepped in a dozen marshmallows.

Here’s the thing: It looks like Arthur Fonzarelli took a greased comb to your hair, and yet it doesn’t occur to you to pluck a nose hair? It’s surprising considering they’re practically hindering your eyesight.

Just because you go over your fur with a fine tooth comb doesn't mean you have to turn your nose up at me.

Here’s to the partnership, Maria L.

Hop this way

If I hop *just right* I can walk right out of here…

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Photos by natural-light-loving, stellar event photographers Monkey Bean Photos in Jackson, Georgia via Sparkly Like a Holiday, submitted by Krista K.

Internet Speed Upgrade

If I feed you parsley, will you unclog the Innernets? Please?

[Grabbing cilantro just in case.]

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Thanks, Mathijs and Lucy 4.0 over at HamsterTracker, where Lucy helps power the Internets on her wheel, one meter at a time. At press time, Lucy’s at 146,119.47 meters in 48 days.

Sunday Schnozzle Snooze

Schnozzle to Schnozzle, on a Sunday. Schweet.

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Don’t make me say “Schnozzhance” because you know I will:

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Stephanie M. I like to think there are tiny Z’s co-mingling, coming from each of their noses