Hilda’s Revenge

…Because you’ve seen Hilda’s ears, right? It’s like two furry Venus Flytraps just sprouted out of  her head – oh, poo! Sweetie, did I not mention that I needed a French manicure today –anyway, I mean, Hilda has a cute face…it it weren’t for those pipe cleaners she calls whiskers. It’s like, ‘What, did a 5-year-old invent you?’

By the way, how do my brows look? It’s like the one thing Hilda does right, you know?

I'm going to look angry for a very long time.

Um, no. I did not ask for two “creepy cocoons” to be placed above my eyes. Where is Hilda. I need to speak with her.

They may look like furry Venus Flytraps, but they hear all.

You could just use Chunk’s whiskers as Q-Tips, Deidra L.

The Strong, Stuffed Silent Type

“… and I really must say how nice it is to meet such a good listener, someone I can open up to and really express myself, because in this day and age, the art of conversation is on its last legs, what with texting and e-mail and all the distractions of modern life, I mean nobody really sets aside the time anymore for a good, old-fashioned chat, in fact I was just telling someone other day…”

Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek-aboo, Steve E.!

Oh, I’m Sorry, Did We Startle You?

Golly, I suppose we did sneak up on you under the covers, didn’t we?  Frightfully sorry about that, old bean.  Anyway, once you’ve finished clutching your chest, would you mind getting us our breakfast?  Thanks ever so.

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N-no m-m-more c-coffee for m-me, Christopher A.

I Gotta Lay Off the Sardines Before Bed

What a weird dream!  I was running and running, but never getting anywhere.  Then this giant hand pushed me around on my back, and it felt so good I started doing it by myself.  And it kept happening over and over, like some kind of endless loop…

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Note: Web site address displayed in some images contains NSFW material.

Update: See more of the kitty at top right here.

Hazel Poses for the Swimsuit Issue

Oh yes, darling (click, click), lie back now (click, click, click)… now lift your head (click, click), give us a pouty look (click, click)… perfect, darling (click, click)

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Now look at the horizon (click), imagine a studly Weimaraner (click, click), stepping from the pool (click, click)… That’s super, love, let us feel it (click, click, click)

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All right, darling (click, click), give us a smile (click, click, click)… Arch your back a bit more (click, click)… Smashing, love, hold that pose (click, click, click, click)

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We’re having issues with that swimsuit, Rocket T.

Live from the Labrador Room, Paramus

Hey ladies and gentlemen glad ya could make it how’s everybody doin’ tonight that’s great ok this next act is the funniest comic working the dogmouth circuit today you’re gonna love him put your hands together for Rocky Boffo let’s hear it…

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Good evening hey it’s great to be here so I tell my psychiatrist I think I’m a deck of cards he says I’ll deal with you later and my girlfriend’s a one-legged waitress yeah she works at ihop but seriously folks what’s the deal with these airline peanuts…

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Is that a pinball machine part in picture one, Natalie F.?  (And am I a geek for knowing that?) (Update: It’s a finger puppet.  Thanks to various commenters for the info.)

Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!?

Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? Fiesta Deck or Promenade Deck!? [Alternating feets touching ground] I don’t see your name on my clipboard! I don’t see your name on my clipboard! I don’t see your name on my clipboard!

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I need a drink. IIIISAAAC!!! (Thanks to Lilly W.)

I’m tewtelly snaking this calendar!

“Hmmmmm,” [slither slither] “I enjoy surfing Cute Overload, [Hits Enter key with head] but sometimes it’s not enough! I want more. MORE!” [slither slither]

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“What’s this I see!? A daily, paper version of the site? That corresponds with days of the week!?

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“Brilliant! If I flash my beady eyes it may distract folks long enough for me to steeeeeeeal eeet” [Tears off page with mouf, proceeds to eat whole]

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Grey-banded baby snakersons brought to you by Lesley C. Get your free Cute Overload 2011 calendar with every accepted photo. Submeet your photo tuhday!

THIS JUST IN: 82 Turtlepower

Congratulations to SeaWorld in San Diego, where 82 endangered green sea turtles hatched without human help.  That’s 164 eye capsules, 328 flappy flippers, and a ka-billionty jillion squeees.  Story, more photos hee-yah.

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K.I.T.T. Never Had These Problems

He was no Michael Knight. And he didn’t even come close to a Magnum. Hell, even with espadrilles, he couldn’t hold a candle to Crockett or Tubbs. The sad truth was, despite what he wanted you to believe, he was no babe magnet.

Can I get a little help here?

And since he didn’t even know how to drive, he spent his days working it as a hood ornament; it was a pointless exercise in futility.

Someone tell Tawny Kitean that she's been replaced.

I’m guessing there are Jersey plates on that thing, Lindsey Y.