Punchlines Only Dogs Get

“Then the rabbi says, ‘Well, if you’re really an ostrich, sell me some life insurance!'”

“If I could walk that way, I’d have enough mangoes to open my own bowling alley!”

“Three: One to screw in the light bulb, and two to sprinkle cornstarch on the floors and windowsills, then hide in the dishwasher and wait for the gnomes.”

Buddy Bulldog at 3 months, taken by his mom, Liz M.

Horrified by Being Called a “Cougar”, Muffy Takes Drastic Measures

“Wow, I am seriously regretting that brow lift…Can I get some eye drops?”

On the plus side, she kicks ass at staring contests, Scott W.  Photo by Hauke

Early Prep for Halloween 2010

“Uh, no, I don’t plan on being a Gamorrean for Halloween. Why do you ask?”

Nah, more Natalie Wood if you ask me, Danica L.

Whispering Campaign

It often starts with an innocent remark, casually tossed away like a gum wrapper. But once a secret is set loose, it scampers from ear to ear, friend to friend, until everyone knows the truth: You still wear Spider-man underpants.

Shh! Don’t pass it around, but David Leip took this picture.

Oh, My Head!

Unngghhh… That’s the last time I mix tequila, vodka, Red Bull and carrot juice again!

Hare of the dog, Scott T.?

Mo-horse

“Hey, what can I say? Mr. T has always been one of my idols.”

Hannah H. explains this is “a rare skyrian pony located in Greece named Iggy. They have lots of personality, as you can see. They only stand about four feet high”

The Curse of the Dream Doll

All right, campers, time for a Halloween ghost story:

She thought it was just a harmless doll, forlorn and forgotten in the toy store bargain bin. But that night, as she slept, the doll filled her dreams with dark and terrible visions. The skies above her were thick with thousands of winged letter carriers, while legions of zombie dog catchers clutched at her as she ran and ran. And then she saw the most horrifying vision of all…

So, campers… what happens next in our tale of terror?

Via Gawker via The Daily What via Buzzfeed via Fox News via your mom.

What a Blowhard

“…And then I went back to the market to return said sea cucumber because it didn’t really mesh with the seaweed salad I had planned for that night’s dinner. But wouldn’t you know it, the market was closed, which was unfortunate on obvious levels but also because I needed a sponge. Anyhoo, long story short, I got very little done, but then I met you, and well, now here we are. Nice to meet you, my name is Bob.”

Way to catch the most uninteresting creature in the sea, Brendan.

A Very Misleading Picnic Lunch Featuring Delicious Lardo

“Ciao! Il benvenuto! Come, sit! Sit! I so glad you here for lunches on this most beautiful day with me, Delicious Lardo!

Perhaps not the salty goodness one had in mind, Tara I.

Son of Come on in, The Water’s Fine

While Lord Bulldog McWadingpool back there loves to splash the water, some animals have to be dragged into it. Turns out that baby otters have to be taught how to swim, and Mom can be one tough swim coach.

Update: Submitted by Sasha’s Mum! (New! Now with more “S” goodness!)

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,978 other followers