What’s For Dinner?

(Let’s see… I could make an omelette… nah, that’s too much work… Well, an English muffin and cheese sandwich sounds good… Maybe with some of that meatloaf?  Ick, there’s hair growing on it… Ooh, there’s some salsa left…)

Could be meat... could be cake...

Ya got enough beer, Joanna?

We Take You Live to the 2009 Staring Championships!

… and if you’ve just joined us, it’s been an inaction-packed afternoon as we enter the ninth blink-less hour of the showdown between Zeke, the young challenger, and Karma, seasoned veteran starer.  And it looks like neither of these determined dogs are giving any ground as… wait a minute, I’m told there’s been a ruling from the line judge…

Your lips say no, but your eyes say yes, yes, yes!

… and… ZEKE HAS BLINKED!  Yes, it’s been confirmed, Zeke has blinked, and that means that Karma retains the Championship Staring title, and it looks like Zeke may be out for the rest of the season to undergo eye adjustments…

Daaaah, how come there's two o'everything?

Back to you in the studio, Stacy W.

Finish Your Taxes in a Breeze!

I used to dread tax time.  All that figuring and scribbling, just to please the mean old IRS.  But all that’s changed now, thanks to the revolutionary tax tool, SkunkWorx™!

It's like a breath of fresh air!

Just put SkunkWorx on your books, and relax.  Only SkunkWorx uses the exclusive AroMath™ System, so that your numbers look good — and smell bad.  So give Uncle Sam a little something extra this year, with SkunkWorx!

Watch me sniff out those hidden deductions!

(I)t’s (R)eally (S)norgleable, Sarah W.

[Nerd Laugh] The Science of Cute!

The Chicago Blog is reportin’ on the Science of Cute. They forgot a few of the rules of cuteness, but other than that, it’s a good report.

Margie T., you are a suuuuuuuper nerd, thank you

Goatorola

"Look, how many times do I have to tell you people?  I don’t care how many tin cans you throw in, we’re very happy with our current alfalfa supplier!  Now stop calling me!!"

Man, these telemarketers really get my human.

Someone wanted to talk to the goat, submitted by Ross O.  Ross, maybe it’s time to join the national "do not bleat" registry.

National Geographic Upgrades

Way to go, Questionable Content!

qc_comic_1348

This one sent in by everyone and their bros, especially Fiv3r!

That’s One Small Step For Ham, One Giant Leap For Hamkind

DAY TWO: After completing atmospheric and temperature evaluations, I am ready to exit the landing module and begin my initial survey.

Darn it! I forgot to pick up the giant flag from the cleaners!

The surface is peppered for miles in every direction with deep, treacherous craters, evidence perhaps of violent meteor showers that once ravaged this planet…

... unusual salt deposits, too.

… and yet, even among these wastelands, I find remnants of a once-great civilization, which built vast cities, drank overpriced coffee, and constructed gleaming white spaceships in which they fled the devastation of their beloved world…

Which means there's probably at least one Starbucks nearby.

We come in peace, Ron M.

Don’t Ask

"Seriously, you don’t wanna know. I’ll spare you the details.  You’re welcome. All I’m gonna say is that whatever genius builds a chalet right in the path of a ski jump can fix his own damn roof."

But I got this lovely little sock at the hospital.  So there's that.

Talk about de agony of de feet, Isobel L.

The Duke of Pomerania in his Winter Villa

"Jeeves, madame and I will take our coffee and kibble in the Sun Room this afternoon, if you please."

And do bring the footstool.  I appear to be dangling again.

Simply mah-velous, Paige R.

It’s frakking HOT IN HERE!

[Toes...SIZZLING!]

[Claws.... FLEXING!]

[Ears... DISAPPOINTED!]

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"Tom in a teapot" Photo by "Z"