Customize your puppeh

It’s reaaaaaaaally easy to turn your boring, run-of-the-mill, straight-from-the-factory white puppeh into something MUCH MORE EXCITING.

Give your toddler some markers and an hour alone, and VOILA PEOPLE:

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Cartoon_dog_warhold_110 Josh N., I like how the kid emphasized eyelashes and ribs in his drawingk.

I Don’t Like This Planet, Mommy

"I hate this place — everything’s all flat and quiet.  Yeah, sure, there’s people, but nobody talks to me or pets me or anything.  I mean, check out Necktie Boy, here; I lick his face, give him my best sad-eyes routine, and what do I get?  Bupkis!  And the worst part is that there’s all this food, and I can’t eat any of it!

"On the plus side, though, I’m feeling very motivated to quit smoking.  Whatever that is."

The snozzberries most decidedly DO NOT taste like snozzberries.

Maybe a trip to Sofaland will cheer him up, Steph W.

There’s a Seeker Born Every Minute

Each of us is born into a lonely quest.  Young and old, rich and poor, from mighty king to lowly beggar, our lives are marked by the trails of our ceaseless yearnings, like maps to treasure we never find.

Seriously, I just don't get it sometimes...

For some, it is Love, that blissful release from earthly cares, adrift in the arms of that one special someone.  For others, it is Knowledge, the skeleton key that unlocks every mystery and lays bare the soul of Truth.

... I mean, I'm just sayin', you'd think it wouldn't be such a big deal...

… and then, if you’re this bozo, you just want a conditioner that tames split ends.

... if they can put a man on the moon and all...

We may need to break out the hot-oil treatment, Tina W.

Mamas Who Let Their Babies Grow Up to Be Flossers

THIS JUST IN!

Monkehs teaching their behbehs to use tools! How evolvo-licious!

Merci, Ms. Fiv3r!

Klamath Falls, 1963

OK, so me and my friend Danny get to go camping, except Danny’s mom said that Danny’s sister Marlys had to come too, and my mom made me take my brother Ralph and said we couldn’t hike fast on account of he has asthma and stuff.

And Marlys had this big crush on me, but of course she pretended she didn't.

So we were in the forest, and Marlys said she was pretty sure that this is where Old Man Morris lives, who’s supposed to be this scary old guy with a hook for a hand who cooks little kids and eats ‘em.  And I said "cut it out, Marlys, that’s just a ghost story."

But we stuck together anyway, just to be safe.

"Is not," says Marlys.  "Jimmy Beaverton saw him when he took a short cut home from Jamboree last summer.  There was this wheezy voice saying ‘My, you’re a tasty thing, aren’t ya?’ and that’s when he saw him."

"Oh, Jimmy Beaverton eats boogers and thinks Howdy Doody is real," I tell her.  "What does he know?"  And she says "Fine — you’re so smart, let’s see you walk down there by yourself."

                    um, OK...

So now I have to do it or I’ll look stupid.  And then the forest gets really quiet, and the birds stop singing all at once, and all I can hear is the snow crunch under my feet.  And then I stop, and I hear something … wheezing.

( I'm *not* a tasty thing, I'm *not* a tasty thing... )

So Marlys screams at me and Danny screams at Marlys and Ralphie just screams at everybody, and we all run back to camp the whole way without stopping.  Anyway, it turns out the wheezing was just because Ralphie couldn’t find his inhaler.

But we never went back there anyway, just to be safe.

Photos from Jennifer T. (with an assist from Alexis M. & Sarah F.S.)

No More Scary Movies For You, Dad

"It’s the same story every time we watch a Freddy or Jason movie:  You always say ‘I’m a big boy now, I can handle it,’ and by the time the picture’s over, you end up whimpering in my bed."

But I *swear* I can hear a chainsaw in the next room!

Looks like someone could use this handy How To Survive A Slasher Movie guide, JC.

About as prosh as it GETS

Sender-Inner Katie T. writes:

"These pictures are of my adorable new rescue kitten. She doesn’t have a name yet, but I’m considering Charlotte and Eliza.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I left her alone for the first time for about half an hour. When I came back, I found that she had tucked herself into my bed, right next to where my head belongs! I very nearly died."

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JETHUTH CHRIST, KATIE T (Say in fake Sean Connery accent)

I’m keepingk the bed warm for you

OK?

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You’re coming back, right Katie T.?

You’re know they’re done…

When their ears pop out!

Ding! [Oven timer sound]

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Sender-Inner Anastasia K. sez Pup Ruby is home with her (and her big brother Herbie!) She also sez: "There is so much corgi cute-itude in this house right now we’re all getting sick to our stomachs!" Roight!

Hopped up on boxes

It started out innocently enough…

A simple ‘kitteh curious about a box’ scenario…

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The Part-Squirrel, part Pomeranian didn’t even seem to notice at first…

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But then, the kitteh got a LITTLE TOO COMFORTABUHLS

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So much so

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IT WARRANTED AN UNPRECENDENTED COUNTER-CLOCKWISE ROTAYSHON:

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HEY-ZOOS your kitteh is a BOX FIEND Kate G.!