All According to Plan?

Pup: What have you brought me?
Kid: Mastaaah,  I have failed to bring you Snausages as you wished.
Pup: Did you seek the cupboard as I instructed?
Kid: Yes Mastah.
Pup: Did you use your mad crawling skills?
Kid: Yes Mastah.
Pup: Then how could you fail?
Kid: “burp”
Pup: …what?
Kid: Nuffin’!


They learn so fast, Todd B.

Volley Good Show!

And now for something completely amazing: Petey the border collie, who serves up volleys in vast volume, using what must be the world’s most resilient nose.

Going to Cloud Nine BRB

~I dweamt I was a fwuffy cwoud, fwoating acwoss the sky~


Count one more sheep and kitty will turn into one, Julie L.

Is This a New Rule of Cuteness?

Jennifer H. proposes a new rule of cuteness: When you cover your eyes, it’s cute.

And for Exhibit A, she offers: “This is a picture of our cat, Tippy (so named for white tip on the end of her tail). She sleeps like this all the time and it cracks us up, so we caught it on film!”

What say you, peeps? This picture rules — but is it a new rule? Vote below!

I Awways Wanted To Say Dat

Whut’s duh mattuh? Cat gawt yur tongue?

You can say that again, Niles and Ryan A.

Ask The Pet Genius

Jure T. writes us to say: “This is my new puppy (female) called Tara. I’m not really sure what kinda information do you need to make a post on the site but the most important part is that she prefers swimming in her water bowl instead drinking from it.”

Dear Jure: There’s a perfectly rational explanation why she doesn’t want to drink from the bowl. It tastes just like a dog’s been swimming in it.

How Does She Find Anything In Here?

Lottery ticket, cough drops, scrunchie, banana, measuring tape, ketchup packets, ice scraper, parking ticket, knitting, a fan belt, tarot card, chunky key chain, pizza delivery guy, guitar pick, rubber ducky, mints, a spork, stress ball, sewing kit, gloves…

A-ha! French fries!


Looks like Poptart is he who holds the purse strings, Mary K.

The Lurking Terror in the Basket

As I descended into the dungeon labyrinth, a foul odor assaulted my senses, the stench of freshly rotting corpses mingled with the dank mold of eons, and a hint of vanilla. I whispered the chant the elders had taught me — tarath n’Ghol nabisco blayvin — and held aloft the Divine Eggplant of Protection.

And there, as foretold, was the ancient basket, wherein lay a horror so wretched that the elders could not speak its name without making a “hlgrrlph” sound. I had hoped to take it asleep, but was too late; the demonic eyes glowed from within. It had seen me.


Tara N. confesses: “I think that deep down in, Guinnie knows she needs baskethab, but she’s not quite willing to admit it yet.”

Hey You Guyths!

Whath’s Uuuuuuthp?


I can’t decide if your dog should move to Nerdsville or Williamsburg, Bailey H.

Honestly, What’s the Big Deal?

I mean, it’s not like we ever see you actually use the yellow pages anymore. You have that beep-boop-beep magic screen on your desk for that now. And you haven’t needed a booster seat for the kids since the youngest entered middle school. So what are you yelling and screaming about? Sheesh!


“My dearly departed phonebook. My dogs Keaton and Grady. I guess they were bored.” says Kristin W. And when animals get bored, Rule 32 gets busy.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 14,623 other followers