Welcome to the Katucky Derby!

This is the big one, race fans!  It’s almost scratching-post time, so let’s review the lineup: Chicken of the Seabiscuit in stall one, followed by Secretaricat, Milkmaid, Great Hairballs O’Fire, Chasing Tail, Cat Outta Hell, Safety Pin has been scratched… and at twenty to one, Feetlebaum.

So who do you like in the fifth, Susy P.? (Found at The Daily Tail.)

That’ll be $250

Here’s the thing, doc: I’m too passive. I just roll over and let everyone tell me what to do. Hell, I’m even doing it now!

Phenomenal sofa find, Mardell C.

Your Services Are No Longer Required

Oh, chortle all you want, Mr. Video Camera Holding Person, but now that kitties can get their own food, what do they need us for? Soon they’ll be driving our cars! Taking our jobs! Rounding us up into special camps! Laughing at our comical antics on brightly-colored websites! You fools! Wake up before it’s too late!

Scaredy Cat Needs Security Pup

I had this dream this giant clown showed up and he was holding this porcelain doll that could blink, and then I was trapped in this weird hallway with Gary Busey and he kept trying to feed me chocolate, and then I fell through a grate on a city sidewalk and landed on Bea Arthur’s shoulder pad!

I’m just so glad you’re here! Can I hold you?

Forwarded by Glazed M. Original post can be found here and also posted here.

It’s Hrothghar, Chihuahua of Destiny!

[Cue jaunty marching music: ♫ HRUM-pum-pum-pumpity-PUM-pum-pum... ♫]

Highwaymen, beware! Blaggards and knaves, take care!
For a hero roams the forest with a might beyond compare!
With his faithful St. Bernard, he is always on his guard,
Fighting evil and injustice with a proud and piercing stare!

For this brave and bold chihuahua
will not fail his finest howah,
And he’ll make the cowards cowah
With his mighty Yap of Powah!

So sing his praises from the rocks and from the tallest tree,
He’s the Wa-Wa of Des-tin-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I feel safer already, Ant.

He’s a Private Dancer, a Dancer for Money…

Trying to put himself through Obedience School, Bart was often exhausted from the night shift playing “Officer Nasty”. On the plus side, he always woke up finding dollar bills pressed against his belly fur.

Please tell me Bart doesn’t own tassels, Amy G.

Uh, we need to talk…

Look, I know you meant well. It was a thoughtful gesture; I mean that, really. And goodness knows, we were long overdue for an outing, seeing how cooped-up we all get during the rainy season.

But seriously, check the five-day forecast before planning the picnic, mmm-keh?

Better not put the galoshes away just yet, Aaron.

Ultimate Smackdown!

In this corner, in black and white trunks, the undefeated champion… Killer Kitteh!

And in this corner, wearing the baby blue jumper… Gorgeous Gigglin’ George!

Gym, Tan, Laundry…Boardwalk

Wayne, aka “The Pecs”, was in the mood to pick-up some chicks, so he hopped in his camaro and headed to the boardwalk to flaunt his juiced situation.

He wasn’t lookin’ for a “stage five clinger”,  just a good time. But the chicks totally ignored him, and not one single lady even tried to get all up in his grill. Did he need more hair gel?

Humiliated, Wayne hopped on a ride to get a final Bird’s eye view of the action before heading home. He just wished he hadn’t eaten all those funnel cakes first.

Fist pump, Jill G.

Encore presentayshe: Bunnular adoptshe

OK, that title was illegible, what I meant to say was, Here is an Encore Presentation [doffing chapeau] of a baby bunny and cat Mom. En garde!!!

Fave still:

Sent in by Velociraptor, if that is your real name.