Calibrating the Acoustic Pigometer

As many of you audiophiles know, the acoustic pigometer is one of the most precise and sensitive pieces of sound-measurement equipment on the market, and as such requires extensive calibration before use.  Let’s listen to how it’s done:

Cows II: This Time, It’s Snorglable

Sometimes that cow, she looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a cow… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she licks ya with that soft pink tongue and then… ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitched squee-in’…

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We’re gonna need a bigger barn, Fay H.
(Update: Gender-confusion issue resolved. :))

Long-legged Red Poodle Supermodel

Long legs.

Curly auburn hair.

Toe Hawks. [record skipping/scratch sound]

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PAGING COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE!

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Photographer Marcia D. is gonna make a killing with this girl.

Hey brain surgeons! Get a load of this!

Did you know that if you were to STARE INTENTLY at cute animals, the surgery you perform may be up to 30 percent MORE ACCURATE?

Someone wrote about this fact on a blog, so it MUST be true!

According to the article in Skepchick:

“In Experiment 1, 40 women individually played a game of Operation in which they had one chance to remove each of the body parts without touching the tweezers to the sides and making the wacky buzzing sound and blinking red nose that indicate your patient has tragically died on the table. They were then randomly assigned to look at images that were either of low cuteness (dogs and cats) or high cuteness (puppehs and kittehs). Finally, they played one more game of Operation.

The women in the high-cuteness group showed significantly greater improvements in their performance of the game than those in the low-cuteness group.”

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I strongly agree with the author of this article that we should test (AND RE-TEST AND RE-TEST!) all Rules of Cuteness to for effectiveness. Great find, Sparkeh.

For some reason I’m filed under “P”

Nobody will tell me why.

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Elizabeth K., I’m not sure if I can say that word on this site.

Cat: It’s What’s for Dinner

You know, working hard all day sure builds up a powerful, man-size hunger.  So when I get home, I like to cook up a hot, steaming plate… of Cat™.

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That’s because Cat™ is the kind of hearty, stick-to-your-ribs meal that tastes so right after a tough day.  So treat yourself to the all-natural goodness… of Cat™.

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Now available at all Kate G. Marts in the Upper Greater Quad-County area.

Paging Rule #7, Come in Rule #7

Remember back in ot-five when we declared Rule of Cuteness numero 7? The koalas are BACK to make sure you all got it through your thick skulls.

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Bam! Close up AND 90 degree rotayshe! (no extra charge)

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Kim N. over at TheGirlsNY sent this proshness over.

The Four Horsies of the Cutepocalypse

“Listen, loves — the photographer wants you arranged from darkest to lightest, so Redonkulousness, I need you to stand next to Nomming… yes, that’s it… and Snorgles and Proshness, if I could get you to switch places, that would be super, thanks.  Now, big smiles, everyone…”

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Photo: Iceland Ponies 2 by david.nikonvscanon

Ready… Aim…

Bravely refusing the blindfold, Lieutenant Drummond defiantly stared down the row of soldiers before him, each with a single snowball at the ready.  “Does condemned have any last requests?” asked Colonel Blatznykov.

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More vintage WTF from Flickr Commons.

Eat the force!

“Raaaaaaaahhhhhgggggh!”

'Munk I am your action figure

“RAAAAAAAAHHHHHGGGGGH!”

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Via The Blemish. How to Sound Like Chewbacca, hovertext via How Now Brownpau. Let’s Be Friends by our action-figger-collecting friend powerpig.