THIS JUST IN: Tigerlette ‘Tocks.
JUST in time for Caturday. We know you need your fix.
Whew! [wiping brow] THAT was close.
Carina M., you’re our favorite dealer.
Energy-saving Draft Guard Pups™ cut door drafts up to 52%
August 23, 2008 by
Cut costly drafts coming in thru window sills and along door bottoms!
The last thing you want is to let the heat escape under doors orthrough drafty window sills. With more heat staying in the house, you won’t have to crank up the thermocat, and that means you’ll save on heating bills.
[Said softly in legal guy voice] Draft Guards require 800 pounds of chow a day.
ANOTHER great tip from Lori W.
Where to, Lady?
August 23, 2008 by
Talk about your Minnie Drivers! [rim shot]
But seriously folks, it’s gonna cost you 2.35 per mile. I got diamond collar bills to PAY.
Moist nosicle marks on the steering wheel are extry, Natalie B.
A Cautionary Tail
August 23, 2008 by
My friends, ours is a generation that accepts what it sees because it has seen it all. Scientists explore the moon and Mars; images and sounds span continents in seconds; tiny robots vacuum our floors and startle our kitties. It is the end of Magic. There is nothing left to astonish us.
And so if, by some odd chance, you should find yourself in a forest alone, and you should encounter a squirrel with a coconut on its head, you might consider it nothing more than a mild diversion, placed there for your amusement. But take heed, my friend: If that squirrel should notice you, raise the coconut from its head, and begin to sing …
Hello, my baby / Hello, my honey / Hello, my ragtime gal / Send me your kiss by wire / Honey, my heart’s on fire / If you refuse me / Honey, you’ll lose me / Then you’ll be left alone / So, baby, telephone / And tell me I’m your own…
… put the damn thing back in the box and run like hell! You don’t wanna end up like this sucker, do you?
Tell me you didn’t rent a theater already, Vanessa B.
[Dinner bell sound]
August 22, 2008 by
INCOMING WATCH OUT OMG!!!
HALP!!!
Look how quickly things devolve when you add this image to the Krazy Dad Kaleiescoper!
William W. You better fill up that dinner bowl QUICKLEH! Kaleidescope image idea via Make Magazine 
Gentlemen, We Have a Situation
August 22, 2008 by
"It has come to my attention that our company is faced with a crisis. Now, I want to be pro-active here, so I’ve called this little pow-wow to make sure we’re all on the same page about this thing.
"Now, men, a crisis is nothing but an opportunity mixed with danger. In fact, it was the ancient Egyptians who combined the symbols for opportunity and danger because they had never heard it before, the word crisis, I mean, but anyway, if we work as a team, we can seize this bull by the horns (or maybe it was the Chinese), and think outside the box to fast-track a best-in-breed, synergistic solution that will facilitate a sea change throughout our enterprise.
"And remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie … in, er, meat pie, and the anagram of meat is team, and … mmm, pie … I’m sorry, what was the question again?"
I think I used to work for this guy, Kate M.
Let me EXPLAIN
August 22, 2008 by
Look, I KNOW what you’re thinking—it’s not even BUN-DAY and we are displaying a series of bun photos.
Well you know WHAT?
You’re right. [Patting your back with Princess Di eyes looking up]
I’m sure you’ll agree that we CANNOT wait for Bun-Day to show you this anerable paw-pad ACTION…
Miniscule, chompable foots…
Unopened eye capusules…
Appetizer-sized…
TINIEST OF TAILIOS…
TEENIEST OF DIRTY CLAWS ACTION!!!
I’m sure you understand, Kellie A.
The Lonely, Desolate Life of Sniper Kitty
August 22, 2008 by
Sniper Kitty mans his solitary outpost. Day fades into day, night into night, until time is meaningless, the horizon becomes the only world he knows, and there is only the vigil to define him; the ceaseless waiting for the enemy that may come at any moment — or not at all.
Then he sees it — the foe he has waited an aching eternity to face: The dreaded pen. Instinct grips him now, stoked by the fear that burns in the furnace of his soul, the sickening knowledge that only one may succeed, and one must fail. It is either bat — or be batted.
His prey draws closer. Each second hangs forever in the icy winter stillness. Small sounds echo in his ears now — a faint footstep, a rustling of leaves — speaking to a sense beyond sense, flowing into him, guiding him, telling him when the moment is right …
And then, without warning, he strikes! Channeling all his energy into one focused lunge, with devastating force he … he … heeee reeeeally likes tuna, he thinks. Tuna is delicious. Very tasty, indeed. He could go for some tuna right now, in fact. Because he really, really enjoys tuna. He likes tuna. He likes tuna a lot.
See, this is why cats never won a war, Mark J.
And Now, Another Cute Olympics Update
August 21, 2008 by
BEIJING — In gymnastics today, the odds-on favored Hamstrovakian team took the gold in the Women’s Synchronized Dangling. Pictured here, from top, are teammates Uvula Stolichnaya, Ivana Hugankissya and Olga Reallylongfunnynameski.
Our thanks to cute-porter Tabby for today’s update.
For Sale on EBAY: Vintage Glasses ~ MUST SEE!
August 21, 2008 by
FOR SALE, BY ORIGINAL OWNER
THANKS FOR LOOKING!
Still not convinced? Look how great these specs look with a moist nosicle.
Freddie B., I bid…. ONE MEELLION DOLLARS!
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