Time To Visit The Waterpork

It’s hot everywhere and folks, it ain’t coolin’ down anytime soon. So grab yourself a Porkster and a Pool, fill ‘er up, and then hop on in. Snort.

From The Vladster.

I Hope You Realize This Means War

For agonizing, eternal minutes, she and the interloper merely stared at one another, each afraid to move or speak. At last, the visitor found his courage, stepped forward, and offered the traditional greeting of his people:

“PPPTHHHHHTHTHBBBTHHHTHHHHHPPPPPPPTH!”

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“This is Popcorn the Cat facing off one of the many Cincinnati city deer that wondered into my neighbor’s yard. I like to think she was protecting our garden,” says Tawny W.

Hi-Yo, Ginger Stallion! Away!!!

unnamed“This is Ron, aka Ronald, Ron-Ron or The Ginger Stallion. Here he is getting weighed (a substantial 1.3kg!) whilst eating is favourite food lettuce. Photo taken by me, Laura.”

Maybe We Should Bring Out The Pharrell Song Again

Because if ANY video deserves the song “Happy,” this one would be it! This is Frank, everyone. Had a tough life at first, but as you can see, he’s pretty well bounced back.

UPDATE: Yup, Frankie should have the song.

T.O.

The Cute Overload Guide to Surviving a Comcast Telephone Cancellation Request

Start of call: The representative seems courteous and helpful, and merely has a few questions to assist with the cancellation process. Although the questions appear unduly personal, you may ease any stress of the experience by looking at this picture of a smiling tiger cub clouded leopard.

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Minute six: Although theoretically willing to assist with the cancellation, the representative is concerned that your desire to abandon such a caring, loving service may be due to latent feelings of resentment of one or both parents, and suggests weekly therapy along with a complimentary 20 Mbps upgrade. During this phase, you may need to gaze at this bunny for strength.

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Minute eighteen: Now sobbing into his mouthpiece, the representative demands to know, to learn, to feel the reasons why you have chosen to break the heart of this fine service that exists only to serve you. Was it that one time the Game of Thrones season finale got all blocky? That wasn’t our fault, dammit! During this phase, hide all sharp objects and secure any firearms you may own. This kitten represents your last best chance to retain your sanity. Good luck.

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The inspiration for this post, if you need it.

In The Eternal Battle Of Shoes V. Doggehs…

…the Shoes have YET to win. And this goes back CENTURIES! To when there were just…SANDALS!

Bizarro Stuff From The Big J

It’s been awhile since we’ve had something Truly Whacked from The Big J.

This is about to change.

Can anyone here help with with some Translate Action? Translated! ありがとう, 柴子!

From Andrew Y., who has standing orders to email anything nutso from Japan.

May The Derp Be With You*

It seems this week The Mighty C.O. has been besieged by The Derp. Nonetheless, we soldier on. “Meet Lando. He’s named after the charming Star Wars scoundrel for a reason. He’s a blue beagle and doesn’t quite understand the concept of personal space. Thankfully, his big brother Dusty is as patient as they come.” -CT.

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[*Same kinda Star Wars-y vibe as this post -Ed.]

Toesday: Gimme Five.

tumblr_n676kl5Tp11sqvn8mo1_1280These are the property of Finn The American Shorthair Kitteh, who resides happily in In-dee-ana, USA.

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Face the Morning After

You awaken just before noon. Blades of light slice through the gauzy haze as you piece together the evening’s revelries. There were balloons and alcohol, karaoke and alcohol, arson and alcohol, plus Mr. MacGroot from Accounting brought his bagpipes. Somehow, you staggered home and collapsed — and that’s when it happened. Your chin disappeared halfway into your head, your eyes and ears now point in different directions, and you realize your night of abandon has left you with a case — of Bed Face.

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