Twenty Questions

"Why can’t we fly? 

What do colors taste like? 

Where do babies come from? 

If I bite my nails, will a hand grow in my stomach? 

Why do we poop? 

Does water bounce? 

Can dogs look up? 

What would you do for a Klondike bar? 

Am I a dot?  Or am I a speck? 

When I’m underwater, do I get wet?  Or does the water get me instead? 

Did the computer invent itself? 

Where have all the flowers gone? 

Who framed Roger Rabbit? 

Where’s the beef? 

Does this look infected? 

Is there pinball in Heaven? 

Could Captain Kirk beat Han Solo in a bar fight? 

Are you now, or have you ever been …"

(Now *I* have a question: Where's the nearest orphanage?)

I donna know, Donna B.

THIS is what happens when you don’t weed the kittehs

Garden laziness always leads to the KITTEN overgrowth. Man.

[whispering] I think it has roots already.


Arlo R., get out your clippères.

Top 10 Redonk Election Quotes as told by kittens

10. "I’ve now been in 57 states — I think one left to go."
-Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon

9. "The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood aswell as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book."
-John McCain, in aninterview with the Boston Globe

8. "Why can’t I just eat my waffle?"
-Barack Obama, after beingasked a foreign policy question by a reporter while visiting a diner inPennsylvania

7. "You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bombbomb, bomb bomb Iran."
-John McCain, breaking into song after beingasked about whether it was time to send a message to Iran

"She needed the clothes."
- John McCain explaining to reporters why the RNC spent $150,000 on clothes and accessories for Sarah Palin and her family, Florida, Oct. 23, 2008

5. "It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling toguns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them oranti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explaintheir frustrations."
-Barack Obama, explaining his troubles winningover some working-class voters

4. "Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions."
- Barack Obama exasperated by reporters after a news conference

3. "Make it a hundred…That would be fine with me."
-JohnMcCain, to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush’svision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years

For Quotes 1 and 2 jump over to Political Humor. all quotes compiled by Daniel Kurtzman.

Thanks to Spokeskittehs Just One Kiss, Flamenco, Cuteness alert, Flamenco + Ruskea, Simply & flower, Flamencos first walk,Katze 3, Ruskea, all originally uploaded by Urs Wachter™.

Oh Yah, You Betcha! (wink!)

"… and in my travels, it’s been such a genuine thrill and honor to meet so many of you hard-working, down-to-earth, honest-to-Betsy, meat-and-potatoes, tough-as-nails folks, what I like to call the ‘real dogs’ that form the best part of this great country of ours.

"Why, over there, I can see Carl the Car-Chaser, and there’s Fred the Frisbee-Catcher, and Bob the Barker, and Steve the Snorgler, and Larry the Leg-Lover, and Ned the Napper, and Ted the Toilet-Drinker-Outer-Ofer …"

And golly, I'm just gunna miss alla ya so darn much!

Just six more days, Melissa F. the Sender-Inner …

Dr. Fluffy’s Cathouse of Horror!

NOW THROUGH OCTOBER 31, Dogtopolis Jaycees present the 17th annual Dr. Fluffy’s Cathouse of Horror!  Enter — if you dare — and witness scenes so gruesome, you’ll leave with your tail tucked between your legs!

SEE!!!  The terrifying Terrier-Eating Toilet in … THE BATHROOM OF BLOOD!!!

AKA the Venus FLY-trap (thank you, I'll be here all week)

SEE!!!  Hideous mutant experiments in … FELIX’S LABORATORY OF NIGHTMARES!!!

Help meeeeeee ... Help meeeeeeeeeeee ...

And your tail will tremble with terror when you come face to face with … SATAN HIMSELF!!!

But you can call me Toby; we try to keep things informal here...

The Dogtopolis Jaycees thank Chelsee I., Hans L., and Dan K. for their help with this year’s production.

‘Tocktober Surprise!

Step 1: Drill hole in ice.
Step 2: Cover hole lightly.
Step 3: Wait for fox to show up.

Step 4: SURPRISE!!

Kinda looks like a cigarette butt with legs, Donna B.

And Now, Here’s Every Episode of Lassie Ever Made

"Whoa there, Lassie!  Why the big hurry?"

(Insert 'screeching tires' sound effect here)

"What’s that you say, girl?  Timmy’s fallen down a well?  And he’s broken both legs?  And he’s surrounded by poisonous snakes?!  And he’s sinking into quicksand?!?  And he’s down to three percent power on his iPod?!?!"

(Insert 'whimpering collie' sound effect here)

"I’m coming, Timmy!! I shall accomplish a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular idiom!"

(Insert 'Hanna-Barbera running' sound effect here)

Let’s hope the idiom doesn’t require any heavy lifting, Kira G.

Turtle ‘Tock Fa-shons!

Flirty Shell Skirts are in this Winter, Laaaaadies!

The aptly-named photo tortoisetock, by the aptly-named Sugarbunzz.

Happy Taaaaails to Yoooouuu…

Well, friends, I see by the calendar on the wall that another ‘Tocktober is nearly behind us.  And so, as we tuck our tired tushes in bed for another year, we bid you a fond butt-bye — from the bottom of our hearts.

Maybe next year we can have Oct-TOE-ber.

‘Til we meet again, Stephanie C.

A Tentative Lucy Sniffs Out the Calendar

Hmmmm… [sniff sniff, tentative paw touch]


Hmmmm [pat pat…]


Hmmmm [feels paper quality] OK. I approve.


All the best to you, Mathijs V. and thank you for being a part of the 2009 calendar, Lucy of HamsterTracker fame!


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