Give it up for The Onion, People

People, the Onion is puurrrrrre genius. Please check out two kitteh-related stories;

Story #1:
Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day

[Read more]

Murderrrrr

and

Story #2:

"War on String May Be Unwinnable, says Cat General"

[See original post]

General_mccattersons

Side note: "Bonkers" is the best cat name evar. ‘Cause then you can call him "Bonkie." Right Emily G.?

Runaway Pug pulled over…

…this Runaway thought he had successfully escaped the vet’s office.

More at 11.

Bristol

Pug shot: (mosaic to hide pug’s ID)

Pug_shot

Chris H., when pugs go bad, it’s not pretty.

You gonna eat dis? causeimightwanttokinda

[Nose makes tiniest of sniffing motions in your direction]

Just lemme know if I can have this apple chonk, K?

You_gonna_eat_dis_2

Nice rescueing, Bailey P. ;)

That’s levitation, Homes

[Jetsons hovercraft sound]

Nyerrrrooooooooowwwwwww!


Flying, originally uploaded by surlymonkey.

Excellent Sproinging-pointer-outering, Genesis B. ;)

Holy creepy animatronics!

People, usually the Japanese HAND OUR ASSES TO US in the Cute depahtment.

But Today, I say—(In captain Kirk voice) You’ve gone… TOO FAR!

Why don’t you just STICK TO BUNNY SWEATERS!?

BTW, the best part is the tail-pull.

Built-in binocs

I can see the game juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine.

I need a mini hot dog now, tho. And a beer.

Built_in_binocs

ENHANCE, OMG BEF!

Bef_2

Says Sender-Inner Rhonda C.; "During the fourth inning this praying mantis flew up from way down by third base to land DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF US in the cheap seats at the Portland Beavers game on Friday night. Scared the living [Crapulence -Ed.] out of me until I realized what it was. Our friend Tim Goodspeed, a nature/travel/macro photographer, took this pic. The lil green guy watched the whole game with us."

Oh, I bet he watched more than just the game, Rhonda—THOSE EYES CAN LOOK INTO YER SOUL!

Hurry up with the Slurpees, Mang

Come ON ALREADY [Sigh + paw droopage]


mammoth001, originally uploaded by Zyanthia.

Top notch sender-innering, David S…

Tobato debiveree! [mouth full]

[muzzlepowshe wrapped around tobato]

Heb you gop!

FWESH TOBATO! ENJBOY.

Tobado_debiberee

There are only SMALL bites out of it, Narelle C. ;) Who found this dewd on Philadelphia Weekly…

ALERT!

BOSS KITTEH SEZ: Only EIGHT WEEKS LEFT to shop for Halloween costumes!

Eight_weeks_left

LEOPARD KITTEH SEZ: Dress me like this and ye shall perish!

Dont_do_it

Just sayin’, Christi Y. Don’t buy the frog one!!!

Teef Checker

Bebeh: "I am zuh best denteest thees side of the meeseeseeps. Reelax and let me check your teef. [Schmooshes kitteh's face to reveal two teeny fangersons]

Checking_teefs

Yes, this kitteh is a seriously good sport, Cherie…

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