XTREME Ham Mosh Pit

[Smashing Pumpkins blasting in the background]

WELCOME TO THE XTREME HAM MOSH PIT SUCKAS!!!

We got MORE SQUIRM, MORE PAWS UP, MORE ‘EHN’ THAN YOU CAN HANDLE (handle handle handle echo)

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BAM!

TEENY TAILIO and mini HAUNCH ACTION!

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Paws up won’t SAVE YOU NOW!

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And LOOK, this ham CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THE PILE

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F. J., Did you manage to smuggle some of them away in your purse as planned?

Happiest of Birthdays, THEO!

A little bird told me it was Theo’s birthday today.

Who’s Theo you ask? Well, he only our Moderator Extraordinaire, Keeper of the official Cute Overload Glossary, Hilarious Comment Editor, Foster Kitten Taker Carer, Reality-Casual-Friday Animator Creator, "Bleen" originator and most importantly, Marmalade-Kitteh Admirerer:


Orange tabby kittens, originally uploaded by Nagamori.

Join me in the song, People! HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO! YAY!

Blood-Thirsty Hounds Appreciate Cuteness Too

UK’s Mail Online is reporting a pack of blood-thirsty hounds decided to spare the life of Mr. FawnPants here. In fact, the fawn, known as "Bam Bam" trots along happily with the 60-dog pack and huntsman on their daily walk.

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The fawn fits in perfectly as he is the same size as the hounds, and seems to enjoy hanging out with the pack, much to the complete surprise of onlookers!

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Apparently, Bam Bam’s Momma abandonned him right near the huntsman’s house, most likely scared off by the dogs. Since then, Bam Bam has received his daily milk and seems quite content.

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Bam Bam will be rehomed in a deer sanctuary next year. More pics and more on this story here.

Our Five Finalists Face the Essay Question

"… and the first question goes to Miss Chickasawhatchee, Melita Jane Hoofnagle:  One-fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why do you think this is?"

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and uh, I believe that our, I, education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uhhh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa, it should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

'And furthermore, um ... moo?'

I think we have our Miss Congeniality, Beth S.

Two-faced Kitteh Caturday

Only on a Caturday could we post this.

Apparently, a two-faced kitteh was born in Ohio to a Mom cat who likes hanging out in her litter. [Throws hands up in the air]

Justin C., the kitten meows in unison too—love it!

The ALL-KNOWING KITTEH

Look, I didn’t ASK for this kitten to see through to my soul, OK? It just does.

It can see my innermost thoughts… it can tell me my innermost feelingks!

It knows I left the iron on, it knows I stole candy cigarettes from Bergmann’s department store in fourth grade and that I haven’t been to the dentist in five years—HALP!

Intense

No one is safe, Maureen C.! NO ONE!

What does this kitteh see about YOU!?

Night of the HUMANS!

Coming soon to this theater: NIGHT OF THE HUMANS!  Witness the blood-curdling terror of marauding humans and their ghoulish hunger for DOGGIE BRAINS!  Nothing can stop these mindless beasts as they comb the countryside, fiendishly feasting on furry flesh!

SEE! Terriers terrorized!  SEE! Dachshunds devoured!  SEE! Mastiffs masticated!  Due to the shocking graphic nature of this film, children under 17 will not be admitted without a ticket!  See NIGHT OF THE HUMANS — in gut-wrenching 3-D Snorg-O-Vision!

Well, I really wasn't using it anyway, so...

Let’s schnack on a schnauzer, Stacey S.

Honey? you got any black hair dye?

‘Cause I’m making a video about a "Panda Dog" [does air quotes] and I need some.

Honey? What—what’s that look for?

Um, Nice try, Brinke G. but no cigarillo.

Must be pledge week at Monkey U

Bro!—not everyone is Alpha Tau Omega material. You gotta, like, earn it. [Adjust baseball cap and spits chew into cup]

Prove your loyalty by taunting baby tigers, endure paddling by your Big Brother, successfully wrestle Brother Tacker naked in the jello kiddie pool and come back to the House with a girl’s panties by midnight TONIGHT!

[Secret handshake] Please, Xenia V., may we have another?

Extended monkeying here.

and here.

And one, and two and one, and feel the burn and one

Come on, and one
and two, and one,
and step it out and—

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Don’t panda to me, Avital B.!

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