The Abdominal Snow Dog

Sender-inner Shelly P. sent her pooch Augustus to play outdoors, and things just kind of snowballed from there. But "Augie" seems perfectly pleased to be snowed in, don’t you think?

Before

Smile, Augie!  Shelly suggests that a permanent toothy grin become a new Rule of Cuteness. What say you?

After

Part Chub, Part Musical Instrument

Go On!

I dare you! Stroke my chub layers! I’m a musical instrument!

[Zylophone sound]

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Rule #27 anyone!? I’m looking at YOU Sarah S.!

“I think I’ll stay here for a whiles…”

Unless some nosey hedgehog comes by wanting that toilet paper ube, I am GOLDEN for the day.

[Sinks deeper into sawdust bed]

[waves miniscule paw goodnight]

I must say, I like the lil’ eye sliver very moooooshe, Carolyn C.

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"Warm Borscht" by Carolyn Coles.

Koala RELIEF

Hot damn.

It is HOT.

Hot enough to sneak into this cinderblock haven and look for relief! [Koala makes 'ehn!' sounds]

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WAIT A MIN! [sploosh sploosh] WHAT’S THEES!?

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[Test Slurpitty test slurpitty]

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Yes.

Yes, this will do.

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[Sizzling Koala sounds]

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According to Sender-Inner Kathy M., "A guy at work’s wife sent him these photos of a little Koala who just walked into the back porch looking for a bit of heat relief. She filled up a bucket and this is what happened!"

OMG PONIES!

OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE

5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!!!!

[Discovers hamster hiding in closet]

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Do YOU remember playing Hide and Seek, Sender-Inner Leanne P.?

Am I keeping you warm or?

Are you keeping ME warm?

Bunns

I saw two deers do this once Katie L.

I Got A Million Of ‘Em!

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you."  Grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.  The bartender asks him, "olive or twist?"

A five-dollar bill walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out, this is a singles bar!"

C’mon, let’s hear your best one-liners in the Comments…

Real-Life Kit Kat Clock is freaking me out, Man

Kc01black As if freaking you out IN THE DARK AS A CHILD wasn’t enough, here it is in real-life:

a Kit Kat!

Aieeeeeee! Paging Freddy Krueger!

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According to the official Kit Kat Clock website (yes in all caps) "EVERY 3 MINUTES FOR THE PAST 70 YEARS… SOMEONE has purchased a Kit Kat Clock!"

MOMMY!

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Don’t let the 1920’s ‘stache and snazzy bow tie on the Kit Kat Klock fool you.

It WILL freak you out late at night when you’re on your way to the bathroom.

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My favorite part is this actual quote from the Kit Kat Clock website FAQ. What if I receive my clock and "I opened the box, and one or both eyes are floating freely?"

HOLY EYE STEM REPLACEMENTS!

Thanks, Liz S. [shifty eyes]

Ticktock  [Told ya I was gonna animate this! - Ed.]

The Mostly Unconscious Adventures of Bug the Rat

LOOK!

SOMEONE is bright-eyed, bushy ring-tailed and ready to….

[yawn]

And I’m suuuuuure she’s gonna get a move on riiiiight after this liiiiitle nap.

Perhaps a swig of Dr. P. will get her moving?

Yes. Moving. Riiiiiiiiight after another lil’ nap.

Still tie tie?

How about a Rats ‘n’ Racks photo op?

Yes, almost well-rested enough to take… on… the… honk-shuuuuu

Sure, a story together first. Couldn’t hurt.

Look! Finally made it outside!

Shame there’s no daylight left.

All photos and video of Bug the rattle by Necil Bug. 

BONUS!

THIS JUST IN: from Gobbler’s Knob

Punxsutawney Phil, the wisest of all groundhogs, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators has proclaimed that his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers are World Champions AND that there will be six more weeks of winter, Bitches.

local groundhog who isn’t looking at his shadow by jjp178. Is it really called "Gobbler’s Knob"!? Too… many… joke… possibilities!

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