Check out the pequeno lid on this pup. As modeled by the delicious model "Pipoca" (PopCorn).
Famous for the hard-hitting questions no one else has the fluffy nads to ask, it’s…THE CUTE OVERLOAD INTERVIEW!
CUTE OVERLOAD: Who… are you?
MR. HEWITT: The name is Mr. Hewitt. I’m a Pomeranian with an awesome haircut that makes me look like a mini bear.
CUTE OVERLOAD: What’s your deal?
MR. HEWITT: Um, I was discovered in a dentist’s office in Los Angeles by a family relative of this blog.
CUTE OVERLOAD: A dentist’s off—
MR. HEWITT: Yeah, I hang out here most of the day, making sure patients are sufficiently distracted during cleanings and teeth yankings. They can’t keep their eyes off me. People come in for 9 cleanings a year with me around. I’m good for business. [yawn]
CUTE OVERLOAD: Do people ask oral hygiene advice from a Pomeranian?
MR. HEWITT: In a word; yes. We’re in L.A.! Talking dogs are tewtelly normal.
CUTE OVERLOAD: You’re a unique pup. Tell us about your background.
MR. HEWITT: I came in second place in a dog show in the Philippines. I emigrated here when I was younger, and have been delighting Beverly HIlls dental patients ever since. I haven’t had any offspring, though my demeanor has made me so popular, everyone asks if I’d consider knocking up some beeyatch for a litter of pups.
CUTE OVERLOAD: We’ve hear you say that you "give small dogs a good name". How is that?
MR. HEWITT: I don’t yip a bit, Baby. I’m as mellow as a frakking Cognac. [pants]
CUTE OVERLOAD: Ever see any celebs at the office?
MR. HEWITT: Yes, and they ALL bring their small dogs in—annoying!
CUTE OVERLOAD: What sort of female pup need not apply to Mr. Hewitt?
MR. HEWITT: I got this thing for dog legs. Don’t hold it against me!
Nina B. and Mr. Hewitt, sittin’ in a tree…
"The chicks LOVE IT.
Seriously. Rowr." [Lion impression with pffft pffft paw swipe]
Matt and Danielle R., way to instill confidence in puppehs everywhere…
It strikes without warning, wreaking terrible terror too terrifyingly torturous to tolerate! What is it? And what does it crave, this creeping horror, this unearthly ungulate, striking fear into the hearts of all who bear witness?
When it hunts you — YOU DARE NOT MOVE! When it finds you — YOU DARE NOT BREATHE! Nothing in the depths of your darkest nightmares can prepare you for the UNSTOPPABLE EVIL!!!
There is no escape from … THE ATTACK OF THE FIFTY-FOOT TONGUE!
A Morgan R. production, starring Clifton Flange, Loretta Trashsmasher and “Tex” McGee as Cardinal Richelieu. Rated [R] for Redonkulous. Coming soon to this theater!
Hah! They call me the Nibble Master, because my nibbling technique is invincible!
Haiiee-YAH! DOUBLE MONKEY FOOT NIBBLE GRIP!
Ayyyy-EEEEE! SOARING CRANE OVERHEAD NIBBLE!
Ooeeee-HAH! LEAPING PANTHER (buurrrrp!) … um, kinda full, just gonna lie down for a minute …
If do right, Arlene F., no can defense.
We interrupt "Intervention: Cats in Boxes" to bring you this tiny pug with unbelieeeeeveably munchable ear flaps.
Also, on a completely unrelated note, this pup bears an uncanny resemblance to Jack Black.
Yana S. I think it’s the "eyebrows".
[Holier-than-thou Papillion voice] "I’ve been soooooooooo busy this year! I’ve hardly had time to make these cards to send to you people! Yes, I’ve been keeping busy with my martini ‘n’ cigar parties, looking after the twins and my dog CPA practice. Hope you’re wellllllll!" [singsong]
Ryan S., I shall feature this one prominently on my mantel…thaaannnnnnks
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Black and Decker-Nokia-Johnson Wax Stadium for the start of the 64th Annual Intercollegiate Scampering Championships! And I can see the Kansas team taking the field now; let’s meet some of the key players:
On the starting line, we’ve got Mopsy and Flopsy Rabinowitz, going over last-minute strategy. The brothers won ten out of their twelve starters during their freshman year, and so the crowd expects great scampering from them today …
… and yes! There he is, coming on to the field now, looking confident … it’s star scamperer Biff "Zippy" McBlurrgh, who leads the league this season in total yards scampered …
… and now the team is getting final instructions from Coach Zeke "The Disapprover" Standhope …
… and so, as Head Cheerleader Alyssa "Sender-Inner" B. joins her team on the field, we’re ready now for the coin toss, sponsored by Chevron and Microsoft. But first, these messages …