THIS JUST IN: Longneck Bud

The new baby boy at the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens is already a tall drink of water: A healthy 6-foot, 140-pound baby giraffe, born last Sunday to first-time mom Naomi. Story and video here.

The Reason Peeps No Longer Sponsor a Bobsled Team

OK, listen up – to practice for 2012, I propose a radical idea: instead of ice, we train on– wait for it – velour.

At least it wasn’t corduroy, Larissa M.

“When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange!”

Behold, a stunning metamorphosis:

The Inclusive Prepster.

The Expressive Goth.

Cheerleader.

Right up John Hughes’ alley, Chase & Jackie.

By the Way, You’re a Quart Low

While most pups respond to the words “car ride?” with unhinged glee, here’s one who may think twice: A cute black lab who took a 30-mile drive while trapped under the hood. Warning: You may wince a little, but the video has a happy ending (and bonus cute rescue-y guy; maybe not Jamin-level cute, but in the ballpark).

Gino May Need to Bring in Some Back-Up

For Stan, the unofficial start to summer means only one thing:

Gino, obviously I need my back, brows, chin, cheeks, chest, ears nose & throat, haunches, paws & pads trimmed and ‘scaped. But more importantly, let’s discuss a plan for my mankini area…

Whatever you do, don’t tell Enzo you’re using Gino, Lysandra C.

Where is Lando Calrissian When You Need Him?

Look man, when you said “roommate” I assumed you meant some kind of idiotic yet benign gerbil!

But you could’ve given me a heads-up that you went and adopted a freakin’ drool monster who resembles a dang Imperial Shuttle Pod!

Yes, the Force is strong with this one, Mariah M.

Palm Reader Lloyd States the Obvious

This palm is scalier than my back, and if you ever want to find a life partner, I foresee you spending a fortune on moisturizer. And speaking of fortunes, this one cost you $100.

He once belonged to the Great Carnac, MissyPantOne.

Built-In Dream Catcher

Go ahead, dreams, do your best; because these wiry contraptions are built to snag the scariest of nightmares – ones that include furballs and Hoover vacuum’s power nozzle.

Honk-shu, Peter G.

Who has Bricks for Paws and is More Awkward than a Baby Elephant?

Mr. Nimble, of course.

Even the simplest Maru clips contain some serious gems – say around the 1:27 mark, for instance.

Everyone has Memorial Day Plans

What do you wanna do first? Eat? Nap? Pee on ol’ lady McCracken’s hedges?

All of the above, Jamie I.

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