“Nighttime! Daytime!” Dr. Lipschwitz has his work cut out for him.

This one speaks for itself. Hilariously.


Thanks, Eleanor C.

More from BBC’s very, very funny Walk on the Wild Side can be seen here.

Hi, I’m the New Monster Under Your Bed

Yes, moved in last Thursday. Still living out of the boxes; ach, such a mess, don’t get me started. Anyhoo, just wanted to pop up and say hello, and I promise to start terrorizing you as soon as possible, but we’re so busy right now what with the change-of-address cards and getting our youngest into kindergarten.

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“Chloe” looks like an extra from “Monsters, Inc.,” Danielle.

Available at fine pet stores everywhere.

He was there, and I here. Everyday. My mind was on him. Constantly.

Do you miss me?

My master, he could do no wrong. My unconditional love was infinitely unambiguous.

Unquestionably so!

Would he always be mine? Time would tell…

Why is that small blue dog interfering with my snuggle time.

There are many loves, but only one obsession: Canine Klein’s Obsession.

Ahh, the smell of it, Aubrey A.

I Think Stephen Colbert Hacked This Post

Samantha and Honey Bear, sittin’ in a tree!
Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Enn-GEE!
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage the blood-curdling screams of AGONY at the razor-sharp claws of a godless KILLING MACHINE!!!1!  AUUUGGGHHH!!!

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Snorgling machine is more like it, Samantha B.

Tonight, Make It a Floofmann’s Night

For the special times—when only the best will do—reach for the hamster trusted by more families than any other: Floofmann’s Canned Ham.

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That’s because Floofmann’s chooses only the freshest, proshest hams, with 30 percent more ‘tocks,* picked at their peak of redonku-liciousness.

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And now, so that you may savor the jaw-dropping cleverness:

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* Do we even want to know how you got 30% more ‘tocks, Julie and Ron?

The Busy Life of a Single Dog.

6:00AM: Wake up, chase cat on treadmill.

6:30AM: Make Mooch breakfast.

6:31AM: Make mental note to call Dr. Lipschwitz about Mooch demanding Fancy Feast.

7:06AM: Train into city.

7:10AM: Scold Mooch, explain why he can’t stick head out window, add incident to Lipschwitz list.

8:00AM: Arrive at Mooch’s daycare, wonder why door is locked.

8:02AM: Realize it’s Saturday.

Please don't tell my ex-wife about this.

Hope you offered him a venti, non-fat, half-caff, extra-foamy latte, Leighann S.

No, Really, I Work Here

It’s just that—well, this is kind of embarrassing—my uniform is at the cleaners.

Little accident with the ketchup dispenser, if you must know.

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There’s a cover charge at the door, and the password is ‘loin’.

Their fall from Hollywood elite was shocking and swift, but they did what was necessary to pay the bills. Given, their new gig is a little depressing, but at least they headline on Wednesdays as the male revue “Everything but the Oink”. It’s no summer blockbuster, but they make the best of it. Wilbur, Babe, and Piglet always do.

Prosciutto, Pancetta, and Sir Hammy reenact "Flashdance".

Erewhay areway ethay eglay armersway, Echo L.?

Exit Strategery

According to ham-tographer Laura-Elizabeth; “They pile themselves up in this warm cozy pouch and when they hear me coming to see them all tumble out at once. Ridiculous hams.”

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Sleepy Pouch by Laura-Elizabeth was suggested via Twitter by FourHams.

That’s Knot Funny

For today’s busy serial prankster, the most important skill to master is time management.  For example, tie your victim’s shoelaces together first; this will keep him engaged and distracted, giving you time to short-sheet his bed, fill the sugar bowl with salt, and hide his car keys.

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Check the sofa for whoopee cushions, Claire C.
Photo by Angelo Sotira.

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