You’ve Got a Bit of Teeth Stuck in Your Food, There

"Mrphth thmuph ig loorph flurghthing (munch, chomp) flr thrriff lurthph (ummm, smack) glurrtph hlurgh!"

... and, in conclusion, flurthph thrg mlurpth acth blurthppt!

"Ah, that’s better.  Does anyone have a moist towelette?"

That was the tastiest salad I ever disapproved of.

Sender-innered by "wondering," as in "I’m wondering what the heck that meant."

I Saw This in a Cartoon Once

"Dude, check it out:  First, I sit in the bowl for a while, and let the dog see me.  Then I get out, and the dog thinks I’m being baked into cookies!  (chuckle)  Stupid noob falls for it every — hey, what’s that whirring noise?"

INCOMING BLENDER AT THREE O'CLOCK!!

Timing is everything, Diane D.

Behold the Fearsome Predator

On the vast arid plains of the Serengeti, the silent and deadly jaguar awaits his prey.

jaguar_cub_slurp

Victim in sight, he creeps slowly forward, his mighty paw raised for the killing stroke… and then…

jaguar_cub_paw

WHUMP!  "Oh, hi boss!  I was just, ah… walking around the yard, minding my own business… you know, thinking about stuff… and definitely not stalking you, honest, I would never do that."

jaguar_cub_nose_boop

Rare jaguar cub born last year at Huachipa Zoo in Lima, Peru.  Details here.

“BLEEEECH!!!”

"This tuna tartare is…OUTRAGEOUS!"

Garfi-I Said "NO!!!", by E.L.A.

My Private Torment

"I’ve tried to quit, honestly, I have.  Twelve-step programs, hypnosis, patches, pills, ointments, you name it.  But then I’ll be out with the boys at a party, and someone starts passing around a… a… chicken, and it starts all over again."

weimeraner_chick_lick

You’re such an enabler, Kathleen C.

Is it Spring Break Yet?

…now as you can see, if we conjugate the hypotenuse along the lateral preamble parallel to the esophagus, we can retract the dangling participle near the soliloquy of

WILL SOMEONE WAKE UP JENKINS!?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sender-innered by Da Megster her own baaaaaaaaaad self!

YOUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED MARINE BIOLOGISTS!

PINK DOLPHIN OMG!!!1!!

More details here!!!

Pink_dolphin_1358282c

Now, if only the ocean would turn LIME GREEN!!!

Technorati Profile

“I’m marrying him Mother. You can’t stop me.”

“Sure, he’s a little cold, but he’s BIG and he’s green and he’s MINE!”

5 2 3 4

Just let her go, Emily D. H. [eye roll]

mawwiage

The Plot Thickens

"Um, you haven’t seen a meatloaf with hair on it, have you?  I was saving that for lunch."

And I even labeled it with my name and everything...

... you'd just think that people could keep their hands off other peoples' food.

Just look innocent and don’t say anything, Tia D.

You’re Kind Of New At This ‘Stowing Away’ Thing, Aren’t You?

"Excuse me, flight attendant, if there will be a choice of snack then I would like pretzels instead of peanuts because I have allergies, and I also need to know if the in-flight movie will be age-appropriate for myself and my traveling companions, and I noticed that the gentleman across the aisle did not return his tray table to the full upright position during takeoff, in direct violation of FAA regulations…"

Nice going, loudmouth.  So much for the free trip to Costa Rica.

Cat Apartment by richard_b

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