We shall duel at dawn! (swish, swish, ching-ching!)
It’s “Tickle Me” Minou, from Sara M.
I hate you. I just want you to know that. It’s not enough that I can feel the eyes of an army of garden gnomes upon me as I take my morning constitutional;
Or that our home is a museum for every “Princess Diana: The Legend Lives On” commemorative collector plate the Franklin Mint ever sold;
Or that night after night, I curl up on the nicotine-scented plastic slipcovers and hope against hope that the evening’s entertainment will consist of something other than “Swingin’ Alive: Frank Sinatra Jr. Sings The Bee Gees.”
No. Every year, you drive me downtown, and make me do … this.
If looks could kill, Lori N.
[whispering Sir Richard Attenborough voice]
Rarely seen in the wild*, a Mali monkeh snorgles a Dachshund puppeh… Let’s watch.
*Wild? Wait—I think I see a leash Julie G.!
Attention beetles! Don’t let harsh winter conditions ruin your ‘tocks! Maintain that new-shell luster all year long with water-resistant BeetleWax™!
Shine on, Bri.
Jingle goats, jingle goats
Hoppin’ up on stumps
Oh, what fun it is to bounce,
Hurdle, leap and jump, Oh!
Merry Hannu-kwanzaa-dan, C.S.O.