That Little Hangy Thing Looks Like Fun

Yeah, I don’t see a canary down there, so it looks like you’ll be OK. But again, that scenario typically applies to coal mines only, so I’d advise you to see a medical professional for a second opinion.

What, are you just going to gum me to death?

I hope you’re not allergic to floof, Allison L.

Technically, This Isn’t Stalking

Every time I see her, I just can’t look away.  I try to tell myself I’m over her, but then I see that face, those eyes… and that’s when I say to hell with the restraining order…

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Here I am, my darling!  I’ve missed you so much — did you miss me, too?  I got so worried when you didn’t answer my last 47 letters that I just had to see you…

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Wait, who’s this?  Not him again!  I thought I told you to stay away from him!  Can’t you see he’s no good for you?  He’ll never love you the way that I love you!  Never!

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Yes, just the two of us now… Oh, my sweet, how I’ve longed for this moment to come once more… to gaze into those faraway eyes, to kiss those full pouting lips, ohhhharrghthphth hrrarghtphht slobber slobber mmmghpth hmrrphth…

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Alllll rightie then, Julie O.

The Neighborhood Will Never Be the Same

Willard and Wanda Worrywart were, perhaps predictably, two nervous nellies to be begin with. Willard often compulsively paced in circles, while Wanda fretted over the smallest disruptions.

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

But in recent days, the Worrywarts often found themselves on the verge of suffering full-blown panic attacks. Their mental states were deteriorating, and Willard was especially affected.

I know I'm not a big prayer, Cod, but if you could help me, I'd appreciate it.

It was their new neighbor; he was bizarre, and frankly, terrifying. It was like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

When googly eyes aren't cute.

They had no one to complain to, so they were forced to endure the daily harassment. Neither Willard nor Wanda knew how long they’d last. But they knew one thing for certain: When they woke up, he would be there.

Call me Brimley and prepare to die.

Call some therapists, Vicki C. and Regina C.

Friday Haiku: … And Don’t Feed Them After Midnight

A gruesome gremlin
Dredged from the depths to inspire
Your horror haiku

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That looks like a three-towel job, Lorena C.

This is some serious snorfing action

SNOOOOOOORRRRF!

Snorf. [Camera tips over due to vacuum]

piglets

Photograph by Sean Crane of a young bearded piglet in Tanjung Puting National Park in Borneo, Indonesia. They have some serious snorting going on over there. I can almost feel the wind rushing in that direction. Fabulousness brought to you by National Geographic, natch!

Mr. Stripey! Are You All Right?

Oh, noooooo! Mr. Stripey has fallen into the Pit of Ultimate Sorrow!  Don’t move, Mr. Stripey — I’ll be right back with a rope and a cable news crew!

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Has “Smudge” met our resident hustler, Chris G.?

I Once Caught a Cat This Big

Aye-yup, caught this sucker ’bout twenny miles offa the Cape, coupla summers ago.  We was just ‘spectin’ ta catch a few Siamese, they like ta school out that way, ya know, but then I get this big tug on my line, damn near yanked me right offa the boat!

So Brian says it looks like an Orange Spotbelly, you hardly ever see them up this far North, and so I gotta reel it in careful-like, because my line ain’t rated for a cat that big, ya know.  An’ o’course it’s fighting me all the way, hissin’ an’ thrashin’ about an’ spittin’ hairballs like they do…

Well, we finally land the beast and head back for the docks so’s we can get it measured for the record books, and of course everybody’s gotta get their picture taken with the damn thing.  Anyway, that’s it over the mantel, f’ya don’t believe me.

I once caught a mouse THIS BIG!

Lauren B. notes that “William” was just one year old when this was taken, so we assume he’ll be visible from space before long.

Tbbbbppppft!

I will not!

I won’t !

You can’t make moi! Etc.!

Tbbbbppppft!

lemur

Madagascar Lemur by Sandrine Vuillermoz. Another fine selection from the National Geographic Photo contest. Yes, you can enter your photos, yes, you could win a LEICA D-LUX 4 camera! But hurry, like ‘Tocktober, contest closes 10/31.

Cow Eye Side Eye

OMG, you did NOT just do that. Embarrrrasssing! [Singsong]

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Another stellar entry over at the National Geographic Photo Contest. This one is by Dana Styber!

A Cowham’s Lament

I’m an old cowham, just a-riding ’round the land
Got a toothpick in my mouth and a lasso in my hand
Gotta round up all the piggies, keep an eye out for the strays,
‘Cuz they’s orn’ry little critters, runnin’ every which-a-ways.

So it’s chase ‘em down and land ‘em, tie ‘em up and brand ‘em,
Some days ya gotta love ‘em, and others ya can’t stand ‘em.
Gotta drive ‘em cross the prairie, forty mile to get your pay,
Then we spend it all in town, chompin’ corn and brocc-a-lay…

Yo-de-layyyyyy… yee-haaaayyyy… de-hooooooo!

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Guinea Pig Rodeo ~ Piórko & poor Balbinka by pyza*

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