Ladies & Gentlemen, the Clever Hamsters

It was another tear-stained night in the French Quarter, heartbreak hanging over every street like a grieving fog.  There was already a row of shot glasses on the bar in front of me, drained like fallen soldiers, but I still had sorrows to drown.

It was Amateur Night, when every cab driver with the ten-spot to get his horn out of hock took his turn in the shadows of Parker and Gillespie.  A beady-eyed quartet shuffled on stage; with luck, they’d only butcher a few numbers before slinking away in shame.  I ordered another shot and braced myself for the worst.

But then they started to play…

Like coolsville, Amy F.

Friday Haiku: Puppy Uppers!

Prosh pal punchy, pooped?
Popping power pill provides
Plenty pep for pup

The secret compartment of my ring I fill / With an Underdog super energy pill!

Quite a pick-me-up, Danée A.

Cute Overload Inadvertently Destroys a Computer

This is outrageous!

Why do you need to surf the net to see other cats?! We’ll see how cute you think he is after I claw his face off.

Don’t bill us, Beylah R.

Don’t Cross the Maltesie Crime Family

Hey boss, I ain’t workin’ for free here. I dug your hole, but if you want me to – you know – “bury the bone” too, then that’s gonna cost you extra.

Oh, you’ll bury the bone. You’ll do it quickly. And you’ll do it quietly. And fortunately for you, I’m going to try and forget your very unfortunate attitude.

Has anyone seen Sir Purrsalot, Gwyneth D. and Ariel C.?

Hedgehog: It’s What’s for Dinner

Oh sure, every time we show you a baby bunny, or a cute kitteh, you people are all like “Squeee!  Ah wawna pop heem in mah mouf!”  Well, bon appétit, kiddies!  (On the plus side, you won’t need a toothpick after dinner.)

What wine goes with hedgehog, Brittany H.?

Auf Wiedersehen, Bernice

I’m not molting right now, so I couldn’t knit the look I intended. But I think this works as a cowl neck, no?

No, SilverHonu.

Ahoy-hoy!

Smithers, it seems that while sunning myself on this giant orange rind, my limbs dehydrated again.

Get me my B12 shot before these ninnies mistake me for an urchin and throw me out to sea.

♪ He may be called Toothpick, but he’ll always be Monty, to me ♪ (with apologies to Billy Joel), Jean T.

We Have Now Passed Ridiculous. Next Stop: Absurd.

Let me guess. You’re making a Bundt cake.

Harebrained submission, Emily B.

Built Rhino Tough!

Welcome to the RPG (Rhino Proving Grounds) here at Busch Gardens.  Each morning, new recruits report to their MOM (Maneuverable Obstacle Mentor) for a run on the training track, evading GNU (Ground Nuisance Units) before settling down for a well-earned NAP (Nighttime Asleep Procedure).  Sure it’s tough, but it’s how we make sure your next Rhino is rugged, maneuverable, and built to last.

In Tampa, your local Rhino dealer is Nick G.

Please Bear With Us…

Jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

When pigs fly!

Holy cow!

Jiminy Cricket!

Leapin’ lizards!

According to Lana D., the only thing harmed in the taking of this photograph was possibly an ear lobe.

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