I Want My Phone Call!

Ya rotten, stinkin’ flatfoots ain’t got nothin’ on me!  Ya hear me, ya no-good screws?  Now one’a youse get my mouthpiece on the horn or I’m eatin’ this cage!

Let me guess: NTMTOM's been Googling crime-movie cliches, hasn't he?

The acoustics make it truly unbearable.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD-OHMYGOD!!!  What are you doing in here?? Don’t you know how to knock?

Great, you’ve seen my webbed feet – are you happy now? Why don’t you take a picture, it lasts lon–

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Oh, you did not just take a picture! I swear, if this ends up on some blog with a stupid caption about how I should wear a shower cap-ybara..

Just get out! Getoutgetoutgetoutgetoutgetout!!!

Capybaras enjoy the soft scent of Dove. Who knew?

Dobby really needs a shower cap-ybara, Loren S.

Urgent Health Action Alert Bulletin!

Attention all pigs!  There is an elevated risk of a deadly strain of “girl flu.”  If not treated early, girl flu can lead to death, or in extreme cases, cooties.   Pigs are urged to avoid prolonged contact with girls, and also avoid activities which may weaken the immune system, such as shopping or watching romantic comedies.

kissy_piggie

Did somebody lose a bet, Florence A.?

Don Draper, He Ain’t

Perhaps it was the smell of fresh toner or the draw of warm paper – he wasn’t certain. But once again, after one martini too many, Fred found himself in this unenviable position.

There had been a going away party for Betty. Yes, that much he remembered. Unfortunately, what he didn’t remember was placing that one ill-advised photocopy in Mr. Vanslooten’s in box.

Oh my God, that photocopier is eating Carol Channing!Kelli A. gets bonus points for naming her cat Pet.

My Heart Will Blorp On

Of all the dangers faced by ancient mariners, none was more deadly or feared than the Giant Blorpular Sealberg.  These free-floating islands of blubber concealed as much as nine-tenths of their mass below the surface, just waiting to bounce any ship foolish enough to pass too close.

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A new niche!

Ruhmember this guy? The blorp of butter that fell off a plate and into OUR HEARTS?

I Can't Belive It's Not a Duck

Just sayin’ it’s COINCIDENTAL THAT THERE IS A NEW WEBSITE called: “This Peanut Looks Like a Duck

Check it:

I am highly skeptikuhls, Karla B.!

Ham-gloo

Knit one,
Purl two,
Add ice,
ham-gloo!

igloo

That’s an igloo for hamsters, Holly M.

I Just Don’t Know Where I Find the Time

Boy, have I got a busy day planned.

First, I have to put off cleaning out the rain gutters, then I’ve got to avoid painting the spare bedroom.

And somewhere in between not edging the front lawn and forgetting to take out the trash, I’ve got to carve out time to refrain from cleaning the attic…

lazy-frog

See also. ;)

What is that bewitching scent you’re wearing?

Eau de Poulet? Catnip Pour Homme? Chanel No. Tuna?! I MUST KNOW! [Crawls up pant leg]

Whatever it is, this kitten must have eet Heather B.

OH NOOO I MEANT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY

aaaaaaaaargh HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUTE OVERLOAD!! dammit :P

This was, of course, before COXCUs, before tags, before 560-pixel-wide pictures, before calendars, before commentroversy, before moderators and [-Ed.]s, possibly before a storied wet meteorological event requiring a lengthy journey in a big wooden freighter full of two of everything. (Awaiting confirmation on that last bit.)  Anyway, let’s pretend I posted this on “Caturday”.

I’m inno-cent!
by MEG on SEPTEMBER 26, 2005

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