Against All Oinks

Woof! Look up in the sky! It’s a flying pig!
Really? Oink! Where? Where?
Ha, ha, made you look!
Snort. I could fly you know, if I didn’t always fall for it.


Robert R. tells us, “This is my friend’s dog, Malachy. He lives on a large farm and he is the only dog; he was quite lonely. A few days ago my friend had a call – would he like a pig? He hesitantly said yes. He thought he was getting a garden-variety piggy; he was quite surprised when Stella showed up. He was even more surprised when Stella ran up to Malachy and the two started romping around! They are now best buds.”

BRB, Taking the Dog Out for a Run

A very long, fast, twisty, bumpy run with banked turns. Awesome.

We Don’t Have to Worry About Our Claws in This Water Bed

I wonder how much she paid for our fancy new kitty beds? But it was the thought that counts. Yep, and the box. Yeah the box! The gift wrap was awesome too. It was the best! Wore me right out. Me too.


Getting your sink back from Lizzy (black) and Bell (grey) is just a pipe dream, Lauren D.

Bob Ross’ Muse

SQWERLS!

Hi, Nice Ta Meetcha

Everyone knows puppies can be very destructive. Surprising new data by slightly obsessed researchers reveals that our demise starts when we succumb to the cute paw shake of doom! Or it might be the corn chips smell. Further research is necessary!


Ceba is just luring in her prey, Annilise W.

Abunnynable Snowball

This snowball’s kinda earie. Should we throw it at somebody or put it in the freezer before it melts?


Chris, we hope Mickie (chihuahua mix) knows Paul Bunyan is a bunny, or he might be out of bounds.

I Shall Call it The Stackinator

Peanut kabobs! What genius! And here, I’ve been pouch stuffing like a sucker my whole life! Shish!


Yeah, ’cause it sounds way better than skwerl skewer, Brian S.

THIS JUST IN: The Most Popular Man in the History of the Entire Human Race

Well, maybe not at this exact moment, but he will be. Oh yes… he will be.

UPDATE: Yes, this is an (accidental) encore; hope you enjoy it again.

Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Kitties

Welcome, fake-sports fans, to the WWE* Ultimate King of the Ring Smackdown! And for our main event, we present Ginger “Bone” Snapper versus The Midnight Mangler! Winner to be decided by two falls and an ear nomming!

*Whiskereds Wrestling Entertainingly

But Soft, What Light Through Yonder Window Beaks

JULIET (the cat):

‘Tis almost morning; I would have thee gone:
And yet no further than a wanton’s bird;
Who lets it hop a little from her hand,
Like a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves,
And with a silk thread plucks it back again,
So loving-jealous of his liberty.

ROMEO (the bird):

I would I were thy bird.

JULIET:

Sweet, so would I:
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.


Real big-deal Shakespeare, suggested by sender-inner Jeff K., photo by Cynthia B.

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