Betcha Can’t Eat EVEN One!

Here’s how our good friends, the Japanese, manage to stay fit and trim so that they can continue to hand our Cheetos-enhanced behinds to us in the cuteness department: Food so adorable you don’t want to eat it.  Go ahead — you order a plate of this stuff and see if you aren’t still staring at it three hours later.

Ah, this takes me back to the first time *I* woke up in a Dumpster.

Hey baby, how YOU doin'?Mister Ranger won't like it if you eat me, Yogi...

Top: Princess Leia?Bottom: Donald Trump?

Cow-men Moo-randa! (forgive me)Aye yam zee peenk poo-dell of zee loff, non?

Omygawd, this is, like, the most awesomest sleepover EVER and stuff!

It's Bullseye, the Wonder Snack!PTHHPTHTHHPHTTHHTT!

I think we've located the trouble with your guitar, sir...GRR! I'm a scary tiger! You're MY lunch! GRRRR!

NOTE: Does not contain actual crab.NOTE: Does not contain actual boy.

Mmmmmm ... crunchy frog!Hello Tasty!

Sweeeeeet Aaaaa-dooooo-liiiiinnnee...

Bon appétit, Paulina J.

Baby ferret dreams of changing THE WORLD

One day, [dreamily] ferrets won’t be seen just as furry knee socks with eyes, or hammock-dwelling, mischievous ne’er do-wells!

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No! [shifts anerable feets] we ferrets will stand up and — Mmm, delicious blankie — lead other Pocket Pets by example!

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No more shoe stealing, constant cat swiping or hiding under bed covers surprising humans when they least expect eet! —Yawn—

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That day will come, Claire. It will.

Sunday Snork

According to Sender-Inner Cammie C., all the other giraffes at the zoo were happily snorfing down pellets while this gal snorked a pole.

Mmmm, salty McTimberssons! Snork snork snork.

Snorking

Giraffe leeps are so great—check out the bendy-back action.

SNORK-HANCE!

Snorked

Cammie C., and everyone out there, have you snorked today?

Real Men Dig Teh Qte

They’re covered in tattoos and have scary biker names, but these bad boys were born to be mild.  They’re the men of Rescue Ink, and as profiled in the New York Times, they speak out against animal abuse and find loving homes for abused animals all over the Big Apple. They’re not vigilantes, as they’re quick to point out, but they’ll get in an abuser’s face as much as the law allows — and they can be very persuasive.

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... and I will hug him, and love him, and brush his lit-tuhl furry body ...

See all photos and the full story over at the New York Times. Badass submishe, Paul K.

Your Throne Awaits, O Queen of Cuteness

As the Puppy Philharmonic Orchestra plays the Cutania national anthem, and a thousand dancing kitties scatter rose petals across your path, loyal Red Panda slaves carry you to the throne room, where members of the 91st Teddy Bear Brigade have assembled for your comfort…

... and then you wake up, and it's Monday.  Sigh ...

Taken at the 2007 California State Fair.

[Tapping forearm repeatedly for Caturday fix]

THIS JUST IN: Tigerlette ‘Tocks.

JUST in time for Caturday. We know you need your fix.

Whew! [wiping brow] THAT was close.

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Carina M., you’re our favorite dealer.

Energy-saving Draft Guard Pups™ cut door drafts up to 52%

Cut costly drafts coming in thru window sills and along door bottoms!

The last thing you want is to let the heat escape under doors orthrough drafty window sills. With more heat staying in the house, you won’t have to crank up the thermocat, and that means you’ll save on heating bills.

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2004-7 weeks-22, originally uploaded by sox_OZ.

[Said softly in legal guy voice] Draft Guards require 800 pounds of chow a day.

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2004-7 weeks-08, originally uploaded by sox_OZ.

ANOTHER great tip from Lori W.

Where to, Lady?

Talk about your Minnie Drivers! [rim shot]

But seriously folks, it’s gonna cost you 2.35 per mile. I got diamond collar bills to PAY.

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Moist nosicle marks on the steering wheel are extry, Natalie B.

A Cautionary Tail

My friends, ours is a generation that accepts what it sees because it has seen it all.  Scientists explore the moon and Mars; images and sounds span continents in seconds; tiny robots vacuum our floors and startle our kitties.  It is the end of Magic.  There is nothing left to astonish us.

Dum de dum, loo de doo ... oh, hello there!

And so if, by some odd chance, you should find yourself in a forest alone, and you should encounter a squirrel with a coconut on its head, you might consider it nothing more than a mild diversion, placed there for your amusement.  But take heed, my friend:  If that squirrel should notice you, raise the coconut from its head, and begin to sing …

Hello, my baby / Hello, my honey / Hello, my ragtime gal / Send me your kiss by wire / Honey, my heart’s on fire / If you refuse me / Honey, you’ll lose me / Then you’ll be left alone / So, baby, telephone / And tell me I’m your own…

… put the damn thing back in the box and run like hell!  You don’t wanna end up like this sucker, do you?

You're having visions of dollar signs, aren't you? That's how it starts.

Tell me you didn’t rent a theater already, Vanessa B.

[Dinner bell sound]

INCOMING WATCH OUT OMG!!!

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HALP!!!

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Look how quickly things devolve when you add this image to the Krazy Dad Kaleiescoper!

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William W. You better fill up that dinner bowl QUICKLEH! Kaleidescope image idea via Make Magazine ;)