Tick-Tock, ‘Tocktober’s Done…

… we know by the setting of the sun.
But there’s time for one more ‘tock, we see,
As snapped by Terry in D.C.

We thank all sender-inning folks
For giving us the butts of jokes.
But one month’s far too much confinement
So send more ‘tocks; that’s your assignment.

Mooning Lincoln? That's just WRONG, man.

A Whirlwind Romance

This is a true story, about how love and kindness can carry us safely through adversity.  If this story has inspired you, please forward this message to ten of your friends and share your blessing.

(lonesome harmonica solo plays in background)

It’s the story of Rusty, a poor pooch whose home was flattened by a tornado.  Homeless and lost, Rusty was picked up by a kindly stranger with a car …

Sure, it's wreckage, but it's CUTE wreckage. It's PINK, see?

… where he met this little lady, another sad-eyed refugee with nowhere to go — and no one to love.

(forlorn oboe solo plays in background)

But Fate had other plans.  A tornado may have turned their lives upside-down, but the power of Love set things right again, and the pair became best friends.  And so they drove through the ravaged countryside …

(... and now we bring in the string section, maybe a harp glissando ...)

… and were soon joined by another dog, and … a cat.  Okay, now I’m not sure what to do here.  I mean, I was trying to work this whole romantic angle, but now … um … well, we can say that the other dog stopped by to borrow a cup of sugar, and …

... and the cat is, like, the wacky neighbor character ...

Oh, come on!!  Now I’ve got a cat and five dogs!  Sure, it’s nice that this guy is picking up all these homeless animals and all, but he’s totally screwing up my narrative!  All right, you know what?  Don’t send this to ten people, see if I care!  Man, this blows.

Oh, mellow out, Hemingway.  We got a seat right here; jump in.

Are we inspired yet, Rusty O.?

Let’s Give ‘em Somethin’ to ‘Tock About

Turtles are tockin’, tockin’ ’bout turtles,
This one needs Shoehab, would you believe it?

N8602147_40986097_6565

And then these bunnies, doin’ one-eighty,
Try to ignore it but they keep singin’…

Pastedgraphic

‘Tocks just a little too round,
‘Tocks just a little too close,

Picture_1

You stare just a little too long.
Maybe you’re seein’, same thin’ we do darlin’.

Frog

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [stoats singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [hamsters singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooocks?

Picture_2

I feel so foolish, I never noticed
Your ‘tocks are bulbous, could you be posin’ for me?
It took this website to make me wonder,
Now I’m convinced that I’m goin’ under.

Picture_3

Thinkin’ ’bout ‘em every day,
Dreamin’ ’bout ‘em every night.
I’m hopin’ that they feel the same way,
But that’s impossible—’tocks can’t have feelin’s darlin!

Picture_4

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup]
A little mystery to figure out
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baby seals singing backup]
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How ’bout buttoooooooocks?

Picture_5

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about babe,
A little bee butt to figure out.
Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about,
How ’bout buttooooooocks? Ooh…

7

Listen to ‘em baby
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [frogs singing backup again]

2_tocks_up

A little tailio won’t hurt ‘em
(Somethin’ to ‘tock about) [baboons singing backup]

11

Let’s give ‘em somethin’ to ‘tock about
How about love, love, spots, and love

12

Whoowhoo mmmm hey oohh whoowhoo
About love, love, love, love

How about they ‘tock about it? uh huh
‘Tock about love……..

13

Apologies to Bonnie Raitt. Take a bow, ‘Tocktober! Excellent pic spotting, Chief Sister Officuh.

Turtle ‘Tocks by Kasey S., Bun’Tocks by Debra R., elephant log ‘tocks by Sheri, Frog ‘Tocks by Mary Jo E., Sprawled Bunneh ‘Tocks by Heather R., French Bulldog ‘Tocks photo by Carolyn M. sent in by Carolyn C. NBC ‘Tocks by Elena A., Bee ‘Tockage by Uncle Andrew, Alpaca Night ‘Tocks by Julie K., Duck! Duck! ‘Tocks! by Melissa S., Pan-‘Tocks by Roxanne S., Giraffe ‘Tocks by Kellene F., ‘Phant ‘Tocks Sent in by Kate E. taken by Carolyn G.

“Goaty Two Shoes”

Just because I curl my ears, trim my horns, like Holly Hobby, eat my vegetables and overall I am annoyingly virtuous doesn’t mean you get to call me that.

Goatvi3

It’s better than ‘Goatse Two Shoes’ Elizabeth F.

Huge Saucer Eyes ‘n’ Paws Alert!

Forgive me if you’ve already seen this alert while driving down the highway. It’s our duty to warn you.

Two kittehs with dangerously large saucer eyes and particularly large paws are AT LARGE.

Please notify us immediately if you see them :D

Detective Catherine T. B., that’s some damn good police work.

Twenty Questions

"Why can’t we fly? 

What do colors taste like? 

Where do babies come from? 

If I bite my nails, will a hand grow in my stomach? 

Why do we poop? 

Does water bounce? 

Can dogs look up? 

What would you do for a Klondike bar? 

Am I a dot?  Or am I a speck? 

When I’m underwater, do I get wet?  Or does the water get me instead? 

Did the computer invent itself? 

Where have all the flowers gone? 

Who framed Roger Rabbit? 

Where’s the beef? 

Does this look infected? 

Is there pinball in Heaven? 

Could Captain Kirk beat Han Solo in a bar fight? 

Are you now, or have you ever been …"

(Now *I* have a question: Where's the nearest orphanage?)

I donna know, Donna B.

THIS is what happens when you don’t weed the kittehs

Garden laziness always leads to the KITTEN overgrowth. Man.

[whispering] I think it has roots already.

Kitty03

Arlo R., get out your clippères.

Top 10 Redonk Election Quotes as told by kittens

10. "I’ve now been in 57 states — I think one left to go."
-Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon

9. "The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood aswell as I should. I’ve got Greenspan’s book."
-John McCain, in aninterview with the Boston Globe

8. "Why can’t I just eat my waffle?"
-Barack Obama, after beingasked a foreign policy question by a reporter while visiting a diner inPennsylvania

7. "You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bombbomb, bomb bomb Iran."
-John McCain, breaking into song after beingasked about whether it was time to send a message to Iran

"She needed the clothes."
- John McCain explaining to reporters why the RNC spent $150,000 on clothes and accessories for Sarah Palin and her family, Florida, Oct. 23, 2008

5. "It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling toguns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them oranti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explaintheir frustrations."
-Barack Obama, explaining his troubles winningover some working-class voters

4. "Come on! I just answered, like, eight questions."
- Barack Obama exasperated by reporters after a news conference

3. "Make it a hundred…That would be fine with me."
-JohnMcCain, to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush’svision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years

For Quotes 1 and 2 jump over to About.com Political Humor. all quotes compiled by Daniel Kurtzman.

Thanks to Spokeskittehs Just One Kiss, Flamenco, Cuteness alert, Flamenco + Ruskea, Simply & flower, Flamencos first walk,Katze 3, Ruskea, all originally uploaded by Urs Wachter™.

Oh Yah, You Betcha! (wink!)

"… and in my travels, it’s been such a genuine thrill and honor to meet so many of you hard-working, down-to-earth, honest-to-Betsy, meat-and-potatoes, tough-as-nails folks, what I like to call the ‘real dogs’ that form the best part of this great country of ours.

"Why, over there, I can see Carl the Car-Chaser, and there’s Fred the Frisbee-Catcher, and Bob the Barker, and Steve the Snorgler, and Larry the Leg-Lover, and Ned the Napper, and Ted the Toilet-Drinker-Outer-Ofer …"

And golly, I'm just gunna miss alla ya so darn much!

Just six more days, Melissa F. the Sender-Inner …

Dr. Fluffy’s Cathouse of Horror!

NOW THROUGH OCTOBER 31, Dogtopolis Jaycees present the 17th annual Dr. Fluffy’s Cathouse of Horror!  Enter — if you dare — and witness scenes so gruesome, you’ll leave with your tail tucked between your legs!

SEE!!!  The terrifying Terrier-Eating Toilet in … THE BATHROOM OF BLOOD!!!

AKA the Venus FLY-trap (thank you, I'll be here all week)

SEE!!!  Hideous mutant experiments in … FELIX’S LABORATORY OF NIGHTMARES!!!

Help meeeeeee ... Help meeeeeeeeeeee ...

And your tail will tremble with terror when you come face to face with … SATAN HIMSELF!!!

But you can call me Toby; we try to keep things informal here...

The Dogtopolis Jaycees thank Chelsee I., Hans L., and Dan K. for their help with this year’s production.

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