We’re Currently #2 for Take-Off, So We’re Going to Turn on the Highbeams, Adjust the Rib Bumpers, and Raise the Goodyears

Spike was really looking forward to his first tandem skydiving jump. Although, he was concerned that the airbags were behind him.

What's really offensive is the condition of this manicure.

You two make a lovely pair, Jessie S.

Friday Haiku: What’choo Lookin’ At?

Stoic sentinels
See the long and short of it
Haiku their vision

3 dogs in a hatchback

Choo lookin’ at me, Kayla C.?

Bacon Got Back

I like pig butts and I cannot lie,
You other animals can’t deny
When the pigs walk in with those double-decker ‘tocks
I go “squee” when I see them hocks…

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Oh, Sarah L. we wanna get wit’cha / ’cause we like yo pit’cha!

Wallet-Sized, Now Just $10.99

You can never go wrong with a nice shot from the Sears Portrait Studio…

A nice soft, filtered light will do wonders; these two are actually raccoons.

I can’t wait to see what they do for Easter, Alex R.

THIS JUST IN: A puppeh with pink glasses

This pup is seeing 20/10, People, and he’s reading the eye chart on the wall and it says:

I

OWN

YER

ASS

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Impressive at such a young age, @Mishmashed!

The Cliché Hollywood Nightmare Scene

It begins with a grating chord of violins; the camera creeps in slowly…

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The subject twists in agony, as thoughts from the subconscious bubble to her lips…

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The violins screech up and down like angry bees; the subject’s writhing becomes more and more desperate, until she can stand it no longer, AND –

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GGHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! She bolts upright and stares into the camera!

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Pass the popcorn, Katelyn D.

Oh, Hells to the No, Lady

Let me get this straight: You’re trying to offer me that…for this? Oh, honey. If you think I’m letting go of this anytime soon, then you might as well believe that Mensa is gonna be recruiting you. I mean, that’s like me offering you tofu for a Twinkie.

Funny you should ask, because, yes, there's a huge difference between Cheetos and Cheese Puffs. For instance...

If I were you, I’d back the hell up. Because on top of being highly unpredictable, I’m, like, 8 feet tall and foaming at the mouth with Cheetos dust.

Next time, maybe you won’t offer him a cashew. But on the other hand, look at those adorably clawed prongs, Pea H.

Those Three Little Words

I mean, yeah, it was cute at first, when the relationship was just getting started, and there’d be this giddy rush to be the one to say it first, you know, because it felt so good to hear it come back at you…

But lately, it’s not the same.  He says it, and then she says it, and then they both say it, so I feel like I gotta say it, and it just turns into a call-and-response thing…

We like you, Ellen M., but we don’t “like you” like you.

“Nighttime! Daytime!” Dr. Lipschwitz has his work cut out for him.

This one speaks for itself. Hilariously.


Thanks, Eleanor C.

More from BBC’s very, very funny Walk on the Wild Side can be seen here.

Hi, I’m the New Monster Under Your Bed

Yes, moved in last Thursday. Still living out of the boxes; ach, such a mess, don’t get me started. Anyhoo, just wanted to pop up and say hello, and I promise to start terrorizing you as soon as possible, but we’re so busy right now what with the change-of-address cards and getting our youngest into kindergarten.

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“Chloe” looks like an extra from “Monsters, Inc.,” Danielle.

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