Mind Your Manors

This week, on “Lifestyles of the Prosh and Redonkulous,” we visit Monteigh Hall, home of toenail-clipper heiress Lady Propecia Monteigh Phipps-Gargle.

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The stately mansion overlooking the Floofitania River, home to generations of her ancestors, is currently under the exacting watch and care of this dynamic doyenne.

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From hosting gala balls, to her designer shoelace empire, to romantic getaways with princes and movie stars, this jet-setter is always on the move and in the know.

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But her most important role is doting mother.  Here we join Lady Propecia during her weekly visit with daughter Phoebe, cared for by her faithful nanny Hannah.

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And finally, we bid farewell to Lady Propecia in her boudoir.  “This is where my heart is,” she explains, “where I unwind from the stress of my impossibly perfect life.”

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Absolutely fabulous, Melanie H.

If They Build It, You Should Not Come

It was the house that buns built. They called it Hoppy Times Plantation, and what a misnomer that was. Don’t be fooled. You are not welcome here.

The mint julep strikes again.

It was built on disapproval, Tuesday H.

Good Eeeeeevening…

Tonight’s gripping tale of terror weaves a sinister web of mistaken identity, espionage, greed, double-parking … and murder.  An innocent bed of lettuce becomes a deathbed in a little story entitled… Ham Sandwich.

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Submitted for your approval*, Sabrina C.  (* Yeah, I know — that was the other guy.)

Top sellers at Etsy

Ooh, this looks nice: “Multi-color blanket, perfect for snuggling during those winter nights. 100 percent hand-crocheted with acrylic yarns. Includes genuine dog noses.  Fits queen bed. Allow 2 weeks delivery; no shipping to PO boxes.”

Well, that seems like a very nice deal, and … DOG NOSES?!

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I don’t even wanna know what’s in the matching throw rugs, Sarah A.

Dog Bless Us, Every One

Behold, the power of Teh Qte:  When we featured the custom pet portraits of Valerie Leonard, cuteologists swarmed her site — but many wanted a more affordable way to enjoy her creations.  And Valerie delivered, with a series of “Animal Ancestor Portraits” note cards, including a set of four holiday cards (sample below).  They’re historical — and hysterical, so check ‘em out.

Keep the milk and cookies, kid, just leave the liquor cabinet unlocked.

STRAAAAAAAYCHE Action

First you see some epic stretching action. THEN

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The human hand gives you SOME SCALE! (To how small this puppeh is!)

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Prosh, Amy M. Just prosh.

Thanks, People Pets!

Picture 3 copy THIS JUST IN! The fine folks over at People have recommended the Cute Overload calendar.

It’s a “Must Have”! they say. Natch! But you already knew that.

Check out the Cute Overload calendar here. The wall calendar won’t fit in a stocking, but the Page-a-Day might!

Half-Caf Quad Misto Macchiato Con Quills

Oh, and please add a moist nosicle.

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Sender-Inner Mandy says that her hedge “Cronie” crawls into cups sometimes. Then, Cronie gets served to the highest bidder.

Sea lion pup INVAYSHONS

They Ornk! They sleep! They flop! It’s a mini-eared, blorp-tacular sea lion pup invasion!

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How did this happen in Monterey!? Watch:

After Eric P. directed the video, he barricaded City Hall.

THIS JUST IN: Pup yawn

With that mini ear-to-head ratio AND yawing action, this pup might start a cute vortex in the time/space continuum we’d be unable to close.

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Amy O., don’t get sucked in!

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