How Do I Get Out Of This Chicken Outfit?

I wanna be the first dog to piddle on the moon!Now, I was told there'd be an in-flight movie...

Sender-inner Jennifer W. loved her pups Flossie (left) and Dougal so much, she shot them into space. Well, not for real, but with the help of Pets in Uniform, she put them in matching space suits, ready for blast-off.

"Everyone asks me how I got the dogs to pose so nicely," says Jennifer, "and how did I ever get them into the uniforms—they don’t know they’re photoshopped!" (Tip: You can tell from the pixels and from seeing a lot of Photoshops in your day.)

But it isn’t just space suits; for a reasonable fee, Pets in Uniform will enlist your pet into any branch of the armed forces, as this sampling demonstrates:

Hrrphth mrrpth ith glurrphtth! Fancy a spot of sherry in the officer's club, old bean? Workers arise! You have nothing to lose but your leashes!
Sgt. Hubert "Biff" Miffman,
101st Tennis-Ball Battalion
Admiral Reginald Snarf-Bixby,
Captain, HMS Redonkulous
Jalea "El Gigante" Buñuelo,
President-for-life, Spanielvania
N-no c-c-coffee for m-me, th-thanks... I've ... SEEN things. (shudder) Lick that fur, soldier! You're a disgrace to this cat's Army!
Cpl. Percival "Twitchy" Limpet,
Specialist, Bomb Disposal
Lt. Marguerite Flang,
(position classified), Area 51
Sgt. Hank "The Tank" MgGuire,
Drill Sergeant, Camp Hairball

Alien V – The Snorgling

…wherein Ripley’s cat Jones, rescued from the Nostromo, becomes a host for an altogether floofier form of Alien.

No chest-bursting (it’s a PG cert, folks!), just an awful lot of furberts—less HR Giger and more HR Pufnstuf.

smiley_belly

Movie is now playing (and lying around showing off its belly) at local theaters.

sideways_kitty

See you at the movies, Ana and Scooter!

Bob Meowly

Rise up this mornin, then I napped in the sunny spot,
Three little birds, pitch by my doorstep
So I killed them, and put the bits in your shoe
This is my present to you-hoo-oo.

Pickle_copy_2

According to sender-inner Jada, "Rasta-Kitty" Pickle has just One Love—a big bowl of ‘nip and mellowing out to some classic Reggae cuts to Satisfy His Soul. Movement of Jah kittehs…mon.

Get A Room!

WELL! I never thought I’d live to see such shameless acts of licentiousness out in public! In my day, a young lady had the decency to faint rather than allow young ruffians to ravage them for all to see! Hummph! And just who is responsible for this outrage upon morality?!

Why don't you take a picture, Grandma, it'll last longer.

Oh, I don’t know, could it be … Megan?!

Open The Pod Bay Doors, HAL

I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that. This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Feed me, Seymore! Feed me NOW!

Look Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress carrot, and think things over.

Ooh, when I get my hands on him, he is SO rebooted.

My mind is going, Van M.

Rule of Cuteness #31: The “Stubbular” Stage is Cute

People, I realized that rule #31 and Rule #36 were like, identical (Someone in QA is soooo getting fired) So I am creating a NEW rule #31.

Rule of Cuteness #31; The ‘Stubbular” stage is cute. That means a young ani-pal with short, non-grown limbs or tails. Here’s what I mean:

Stubbles

Let’s get stubbular! stubbular! [sing in Olivia Newton John voice]

Where D’ya Want The Bun, Already?

Hey, I gotta work order here says I’m suppose’ta deliver a shipment of disapproving bunny to this here residence.  So where you want I should be dumping it, already?

Our union rules say we work ONLY on Bundays.

Sign here, Richard G.

Bright-Eyed and Kinkajou-Tailed

This Kinkajou at the Bronx Zoo is up early this Sunday morning. Usually nocturnal, this lil’ Dude will claw yer eyes out during the day if disturbed. So, not dissimilar to your Mother without a gin martini.

Proceed with caution:

Kinkajou6

Jessica N., how do Kinkajous respond to the allegation that their schnozzles look like a sloth’s? Huh!?

beakt

Paws at the .18 mark, bags at 1:10 mark

A Caturday night rockin’ retrospective of Toshiro the kitteh — don’t miss the paws at the .18 mark and grocery paper bags at the 1:10…

Emily, Astrid and Erik S., exxxxcellent editing and musak.

“I think I’ll just pull this out, here”

[drags all the way to bedroom] "La la la"

[Makes nest of toilet paper in kitchen] "Doo dee doo"

[Claws paper to shreds leaving trail to the office] "All done!"

Tp

Heather D., I’m glad you bought the economy pack.

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