Every Thanksgiving, It’s the Same Thing

Aunt Leticia drinks all the cooking sherry, Grandpa and Cousin Harold argue politics, Cousin Wendell tells us about the latest cult he just joined, and I get stuck babysitting Aunt Brunhilde’s kids, Rollo and Yappo.  That’s it, man; I’m outta here.

Just read this leaflet, Marilyn T. — it’ll totally change your life.

THIS JUST IN: Bebeh Rhino

Rule of Cuteness #10-b:  If you haven’t grown into your feet yet and/or your mom can impale people, you’re cute.  So let’s keep a safe distance and welcome the newest baby white rhino born at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida.

Photo by Matt Marriott/Thanks to sender-inner Nick G.

Return of Ninja Cat!

The steps of the ninja warrior must be as silent as the morning mist upon the ground.  To avoid detection, he must be as still as the midnight air.  He must be as fearless as — GAAAHHH NOOOOO GIANT HAND GIANT HAND RUN AWAY!!!

Mango’s Desperate Attempt at Cute Overload Fame

No. I’m sorry, but they won’t go for this. The lighting is all wrong – I’m not all “gorgeous amber” that they like to talk about. And this angle does nothing for my paws except scream baby-like – and we know they don’t like that.

You're gonna crop that toilet paper out, right?

No, I’m not going to back up – this is what they like!

Does this angle make my nose look big?

Mango gets his 15 minutes, Paula.

Mind Your Manors

This week, on “Lifestyles of the Prosh and Redonkulous,” we visit Monteigh Hall, home of toenail-clipper heiress Lady Propecia Monteigh Phipps-Gargle.

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The stately mansion overlooking the Floofitania River, home to generations of her ancestors, is currently under the exacting watch and care of this dynamic doyenne.

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From hosting gala balls, to her designer shoelace empire, to romantic getaways with princes and movie stars, this jet-setter is always on the move and in the know.

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But her most important role is doting mother.  Here we join Lady Propecia during her weekly visit with daughter Phoebe, cared for by her faithful nanny Hannah.

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And finally, we bid farewell to Lady Propecia in her boudoir.  “This is where my heart is,” she explains, “where I unwind from the stress of my impossibly perfect life.”

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Absolutely fabulous, Melanie H.

If They Build It, You Should Not Come

It was the house that buns built. They called it Hoppy Times Plantation, and what a misnomer that was. Don’t be fooled. You are not welcome here.

The mint julep strikes again.

It was built on disapproval, Tuesday H.

Good Eeeeeevening…

Tonight’s gripping tale of terror weaves a sinister web of mistaken identity, espionage, greed, double-parking … and murder.  An innocent bed of lettuce becomes a deathbed in a little story entitled… Ham Sandwich.

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Submitted for your approval*, Sabrina C.  (* Yeah, I know — that was the other guy.)

Top sellers at Etsy

Ooh, this looks nice: “Multi-color blanket, perfect for snuggling during those winter nights. 100 percent hand-crocheted with acrylic yarns. Includes genuine dog noses.  Fits queen bed. Allow 2 weeks delivery; no shipping to PO boxes.”

Well, that seems like a very nice deal, and … DOG NOSES?!

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I don’t even wanna know what’s in the matching throw rugs, Sarah A.

Dog Bless Us, Every One

Behold, the power of Teh Qte:  When we featured the custom pet portraits of Valerie Leonard, cuteologists swarmed her site — but many wanted a more affordable way to enjoy her creations.  And Valerie delivered, with a series of “Animal Ancestor Portraits” note cards, including a set of four holiday cards (sample below).  They’re historical — and hysterical, so check ‘em out.

Keep the milk and cookies, kid, just leave the liquor cabinet unlocked.

STRAAAAAAAYCHE Action

First you see some epic stretching action. THEN

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The human hand gives you SOME SCALE! (To how small this puppeh is!)

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Prosh, Amy M. Just prosh.

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