This Just In: Pampered Kitten Distrusts Nooks, Crannies

King of Prussia, PA – Bengal kitten, Champion Tippy-Toes McWhispersons (street name: Chuck), got the surprise of his life when he awoke to find himself stranded on a crochet throw.

Never setting foot on anything less than Frette, Chuck was obviously dubious of shabby chic. Frozen in place, Chuck uncomfortably sat in fear that these weird indentations would throw him off-balance, should he dare stick a paw out.

Surrounded by this sea of suspicious fibers, Chuck took matters into his own paws. He stared at it and willed it to transform into his beloved soft, velvet smoking jacket.

That’s one brave kitten, Katia.

The Milk Mustache Pales in Comparison to the Dreaded Furball ‘Stache

Excuse, me? I said I wanted a non-fat with extra-foam. And you gave me a full-fat with extra-fluff.

Not to mention that this biscotti appears to be a carrot, Andrea B.

Hey, Sometimes a Tiger is Just a Tiger

In light of C.O.’s practice of keeping its nose out of current events, we wish to state that the following video of a cute tiger has nothing whatever to do with the marital woes of any professional athlete. And now: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the song stylings of Mistress #103,271!

Oh Mabel, What Will You Do Next?

Mabel is – how should we say? – eccentric. Has been, ever since those red-tailed monkeys accidentally clocked her with that Frisbee they whittled out of that Acacia bark. She wasn’t seriously hurt, thankfully, but the hit definitely rattled something. Like, it’s especially odd when she licks our horns and says, “Well, that’s the best darned drumstick I’ve ever had!”

Mabel is as Mabel does, Mari P.

Teach your Silver-Leaf Langur well

We’ve just been informed the National Geographic Photo contest has announced their winners… Here’s one of them, courtesy of the fine folks over at Nat Geo. It’s called “Baby Gibbon Gets Schmutz Taken Off Cheek by Mom”

THIS JUST IN, Noodles is AWAKE

I repeat, Noodles is indeed awake. As we reported earlier, she was sleeping most of the day, but now appears fully lucid, with ear bows intact.

Excellent cuteporting, Miguel G. of Petographer.

Double Scoop Mint Chip with hamster topping coming up

I assume you want chocolate sauce over the whole thing?

Say yes, Nehama V.!

THIS JUST IN: Maltese puppy does not want to wake up

[Whispering] Ladies and Gentlemen, Noodles has decided to sleep in. We’ve tried Sausage-smell-smelling salts—nothing will awaken her.

All we can do is patiently wait, make sure her ear bows stay on, and photograph the hell out of the situation.

We’ll check back on this story this afternoon. Miguel G. at Petographer will keep us informed.

Someone’s Got a Case of the Mondays

Hey, Norton, what’s happening? Listen, I’m going to need you to not press snooze again, alright? Yeah, if you could go just ahead and get up and come into the office, that would be grrrreat.

That’s my stapler, Stephenson B.

Oooooooooh for meeeeeeeeee!

Oooooooooh for meeeeeeeeee

Thank yoooooou!

Oooooooooh!

[Pan down] [Annoyed kids voice] Yeah. Thanks.

Thanks a lot. Let’s go, Mom. Vamos.

Grateful walla and wallababy photographed by Melissa B. in Australia’s Rainforest Habitat.

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