Goatorola

"Look, how many times do I have to tell you people?  I don’t care how many tin cans you throw in, we’re very happy with our current alfalfa supplier!  Now stop calling me!!"

Man, these telemarketers really get my human.

Someone wanted to talk to the goat, submitted by Ross O.  Ross, maybe it’s time to join the national "do not bleat" registry.

National Geographic Upgrades

Way to go, Questionable Content!

qc_comic_1348

This one sent in by everyone and their bros, especially Fiv3r!

That’s One Small Step For Ham, One Giant Leap For Hamkind

DAY TWO: After completing atmospheric and temperature evaluations, I am ready to exit the landing module and begin my initial survey.

Darn it! I forgot to pick up the giant flag from the cleaners!

The surface is peppered for miles in every direction with deep, treacherous craters, evidence perhaps of violent meteor showers that once ravaged this planet…

... unusual salt deposits, too.

… and yet, even among these wastelands, I find remnants of a once-great civilization, which built vast cities, drank overpriced coffee, and constructed gleaming white spaceships in which they fled the devastation of their beloved world…

Which means there's probably at least one Starbucks nearby.

We come in peace, Ron M.

Don’t Ask

"Seriously, you don’t wanna know. I’ll spare you the details.  You’re welcome. All I’m gonna say is that whatever genius builds a chalet right in the path of a ski jump can fix his own damn roof."

But I got this lovely little sock at the hospital.  So there's that.

Talk about de agony of de feet, Isobel L.

The Duke of Pomerania in his Winter Villa

"Jeeves, madame and I will take our coffee and kibble in the Sun Room this afternoon, if you please."

And do bring the footstool.  I appear to be dangling again.

Simply mah-velous, Paige R.

It’s frakking HOT IN HERE!

[Toes...SIZZLING!]

[Claws.... FLEXING!]

[Ears... DISAPPOINTED!]

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"Tom in a teapot" Photo by "Z"

This Is Spinal Wrap

According to The Sun, albino hedgie Jay Jay wasn’t safe in the wild, because his color made him an easy target for predators. So some nice people took him in, and now his future’s as bright as he is.

It's like, how much more white could this be?

And the answer is: None. None more white.

Never Get Lost Again!

Thank you for purchasing the Bunn-O-Meter™ model OD2750!  The Bunn-O-Meter OD Series puts powerful omni-directional global positioning in a convenient size for pocket, backpack or purse.

No, I don't double as a keychain. Don't go there.

INSTRUCTIONS:  Step 1. Release Bunn-O-Meter onto any outdoor surface.  Be certain that patented RabbitEarz™ duo-dimensional audio scanners are fully extended.

Reh-reh-ready to as-sis-sis-sis-ist you, Puh-puh-puh-Pee-Wee!

Step 2. Wait a few moments while your Bunn-O-Meter’s ultra-sensitive SHL™ (Sniff-Hear-Look) multi-sensor array performs a full 360-degree scan.

(nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm-nyerm...)

In just minutes, your Bunn-O-Meter will point in the direction of the nearest vegetable garden, farmer’s market, or greenhouse, showing you the most efficient route back to civilization.

DING!  Iceberg at 4,500 yards!

For best performance, return your Bunn-O-Meter to its convenient Hutch-I-Tat™ carrying case after use.

Best. Job. Ever.

Only $129.99 from SkyMall!  Now with patented Ilana-D™ sender-inner technology!

THIS JUST IN: Inseparable rehabbed sea lions

The Orange County Register is reportin’ that two inseparable sea lions were ruhleased to the open sea on Valentine’s day. See the full story here ;).

LAGUNA BEACH – Two inseparable sea lions got their very own Valentine’s gift this morning – a return to the freedom of the open sea. Dozens of beachgoers watched as the Pacific Marine Mammal Center released Makia and Alto, two California sea lions who forged a tight bond during their month-long rehabilitation.

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Many mo’ photos on their slideshow, too. Discovered by cuteporter NTMTOM ;)

Shake a Tailfeather Behbeh

WHO teaches birds how to dance? Are there some classes I don’t know about? Reality shows I’m not aware of? TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE STEVE WOZNIAK!

//Video removed at the request of the owner.//

Josh N., I can’t wait to see Frostie on T.V.

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