Morning Ritual

O blessed coffeemaker, benevolent bringer of caffeine, whose warmth elevates our speech above the level of prehistoric guttural mumbling, whose full-bodied flavor makes open our eyes that we may locate our desks without stumbling into the supply closet again, let thy mountain-grown richness flow into our veins, so that we may endure the weekly all-hands meeting without slumping into a coma…

[slurred, indistinct acknowledgement of submission], Kelly M.

It’s a Culinary Breakthrough!

At last, Science develops a hot dog with no mysterious ingredients!

Hold the ketchup, Kristen K.


Bring it!!!

Cocky stoat courtesy of C.S.O.


(clears little throat)
by Ham Bumfuzzle

Effluvium which blunderguffs frum Jabberwocky’s lair,
Kerfuffles my collywobbles
And my tookus absquatulates
Frum the gastronomy there.

Do hamsters even have a uvula, Hannah B.? ’cause I think I just borked mine.
P.S. COXJCU (Cute Overload Xtreme Jabber Close-Up)

Knickers in a Twist

Peggy Sue’s mum was NOT impressed when her daughter revealed herself as the Twister grand champion.

That’s one way to drawers our attention, Klara S.!

Ye Olde Puritan Punishemente

Hear ye, hear ye! Traitor amongst us! What villainous offence, what moment of madness thou hast wrought against thy goode and faithful master! ‘Thou art sooo lucky yon stocks and pillory be full already!

You give new meaning to perseCUTE, Cyndi E.!

Your Juggling Act Needs Work

However, your “being totally adorable” act is perfect.

You Can Come Down Now

I promise, that whole llama spitting thing is not true. It’s an evil rumour perpetuated by jealous dromedaries!

Keep your distance, Eric V.

C.O. Photography Tips

Unless your name happens to be Ansel Adams, the craft of landscape photography can be a joyless and frustrating one. If one wishes to merely document an environment, then any approach will do; but to truly capture the majestic soul of a mountain, or the serene beauty of a field of wheat, greater care is required in the selection of equipment, location, and most paramount, composition.

To illustrate, let us consider the landscape below. At first glance, it seems disjointed, overly busy — hardly a sweeping vista worthy of our lens. But by moving the camera to one side, and changing the angle, we discover Will you get the heck out of the way?! Trying to teach a class here! Jeez, some people!

I Hear You Knockin’…

0:05: You cannot reach me in my Fortress of Solitude!

1:06: Hah! Your feeble attempts amuse me, young one!

1:40: Wait… that’s not… what are you… uh-oh…


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