One Wife’s Private Torment

I’d heard about them on “Oprah,” and some of the girls down at Marcelle’s Salon made jokes about them, but nothing prepared me for the day my husband told me he was … a plushie.

“It’s just something I have to do,” he said, “it’s part of who I am.”  I tried to accept it, but the thought of Bob fantasizing about plush animals, even dressing up as one?  It all seemed so weird.  But with patience and counseling, we worked past our pain, and now our marriage is stronger than ever.

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Thank you so much for sharing, Judy H.

Friday Night Happy Hour

sardiniCome on in, it’s two-for-one ’til closing time!  We’re mixing up a few CO classics, nice and casual.  Really.  Cheers!

6 parts gin
2 parts vodka
1 part Lillet blanc
Lemon twist Kitty head

Combine liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker with cracked ice and shake well. Strain into a chillin’ martini glass and garnish with lemon twist kitty head.

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We maded you a martini, Sandy B., but we drinked it.
(Recipe based on the classic James Bond martini. More recipes here.)

Sender-inner Jessica L. writes: “Okay, here’s a strange one for you. But every time I look at these pictures I think how cute it is, so I thought I’d send it on in. It is a turkey made out of a pine cone who has clearly befriended a sprouted onion. Seriously, check it out. Or maybe I’m just strange.”

[shifty eyes] Thanks… [looks over shoulder]

Oh hey, I found the onions.

Yeah, it’s strange. But in a good butter duck or tree sweater way.

Behold a gaggle of color-coded Peeps riding multi-colored horses.

Even stranger is the text accompanying the submission: “These little guys deserve fun too.”

Um. OK. [shifty eyes in disbelief]

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Katy M., unique. Very unique.

Friday Haiku: Something Smells Fishy

Ferret meets lobster / Romance?  Dinner?  Kinkiness? / We await your words

Sniffing Lobster Tocks

It wasn’t a rock, Kate S. — it was a rock lobster!  Down!  Down!

We Put the “D’oh!” in “Doughnut”

3516791139_8e444d6e74 Whether you’re handling dangerous nuclear materials, or just skateboarding through the Kwik-E-Mart, you need plenty of energy to get you through the morning.

So start your day the Simpsons way — with a hearty helping of Homer Simpson brand Frosted Pink Doughnuts.  They’re the waistline-expanding part of this balanced breakfast!

Endorsed by Dr. V at www.pawcurious.com

More doggie dough-nuttiness here.

 

“Cute Coma” induced by ALL PAWS FLAILING!

Check out this mini bun, he’s all:

“It’s coitoins for me!—Ehn Ehn Ehn” (All Paws flailing)

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Sender-Inner Katie L. met these little bun buns on July 4th during a visit to St. Louis. She claims this bun induced a ‘cute coma’. It happens, Katie. It happens to the best of us (looking at Katie while holding doctorly clipboard).

The many sleeping posishes of Archie

Introducing Archie the Kitteh, who manages to catch Z’s EVERYWHERE! Yes, we should add him to the “Kittehs can sleep anywhere” post. Check it:

Artie’s snooze-tacular shots courtesy of Ruth V. Zzzzzzzzzz

Patri-idiotic

Last month, we reported on Stephen Colbert’s selfless — and momentarily cute — journey to entertain the troops in Iraq, where he made the ultimate sacrifice: Agreeing to have his head shaved.

And what became of the hair, may you ask?

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Callista Y.: Great sender-inner, or the greatest sender-inner?

Maru v. Mouse

We need to get Maru and Winston together for a movie… In the meantime, here is Maru, chasing a mouse:

Alertly spotted by Jorden C. :)

Myron and Ethel Noodleman’s Vacation

“… all right, these next slides are from when we went to Pismo Beach last year, because Myron’s doctor said the sea air would be good for his bursitis.  And we got a lovely room facing the ocean, first floor so Myron wouldn’t have to walk so much…”

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“… now, Pismo Beach is where they have the very famous clam digging, of course, and so Myron and I just had to try it for ourselves.  Didn’t find any clams, oh well…”

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“… and then we saw–HONEY!! You promised not to put that slide in!  I swear, that man–he’s as frisky as a teenager sometimes, I just don’t know what to do with him…”

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“… so anyway, we had a very lovely time, and we met this very nice lady named Angela E., who took these pictures of us, didn’t they come out nice?  And she said she would send them to a place on the Internet called… well, I forget the name; Cute Obstruction, or Cute Upchuck or something like that…”

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I’d Better Call in Sick Today…

… because according to this thing, I’ve got a temperature of 150 calories!

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Backstory from sender-inner Sandy C.: “I’d like to submit this photo of my hamster named Lenore who is attempting to lob a pretzel stick away without me or my fiance knowing.”  Not sure I agree with you 100 percent on your choice of hiding place, Lenore.

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