Damn You, You Meddling Duck!

I may be sitting behind a dirty window confined to my Baxter’s Pad, but one day – one day! – I will get even for your evil trickery!

“Evil trickery”? OK. You  do that, crazy Cat. In the meantime, if you’d like to contact me, may I just say: Talk to the hand. Zing!

Says Edmund O’B: “We found this baby duck alone and in the street. When we took him inside, we had to put the cat (Baxter) outside so he didn’t try to harm the baby duck.  We gave the duck food, and that same day, we took the duck to a waterfowl rehabilitation center to be looked after.”

Inspector McCaw Cracks the Case!

“I was baffled at first, I’ll admit,” mused McCaw as he addressed the dinner guests, “but in time, the clues led step by step to one inescapable truth: Lady Vandeshmear’s killer was none other than… Count von Stroganoff!

The others gasped as McCaw strode forcefully towards the astonished Count. “Or should I say Cedric Ottersby, who is not only a murderous fiend, but also,” he said, pulling the Count’s nose, “a master of disguise!”

“I said,” he repeated, tugging harder, “a master (nnnggghhh!) of disguise!”

Photo: Mccaw Smooch by PuppiesAreProzac

Obnoxious Comes in Such Small Packages

Yeah, photo shoots are great, sure. In fact, let me give you my favorite pose: I call it “Hurry up so we can go watch the Celtics and/or Blackhawks, thanks.”

Forwarded by Barney M. Original post can be seen here.

And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

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Are You Intimidated Yet? Huh? Are You?

Chuckle at me, will you? Well, my fine friends, you’ll be chuckling from the back of those chubby pink faces when I intimidate you with the awe-inspiring power of my chest-beating territorial threat display! Prepare to cower — here it comes!

The C.O. Guide to Etiquette

Part Three: The handshake is the key to any successful introduction. Always grasp the hand firmly, and shake from the elbow, pumping about three or four times. A two-handed grip is too familiar for most business and social situations.

Regardless of species, a bear hug is considered inappropriate for an initial greeting.

Photo: Alan Vernon

Cue the Wind Machine…

…and on my count, Mr. Mister’s “Broken Wings”  in 3…2…1…!

Also very “Take My Breath Away”, Kelly R.

No, I Haven’t Seen Your Lipstick

Why would you even ask me that? I’m insulted! Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me! For your information, I don’t even wear that shade — it doesn’t flatter my complexion and it tastes terrib… oops.

Says Valerie S.: “This is our Howie, a 9 month old male shi tzu/maltese.  Howie (or Howard when he has been naughty) raided my purse one morning and found a tube of lipstick I haven’t used in over a year.  This is what I woke up to that morning!”

The Cat Incognito Authority: I’ve Got Your Back

OK, we’ve got some menacing finches at 2 o’clock. And be wary of those meddling Monarchs at high noon. Stay alert, and most importantly – when I tell you, you move, move, MOVE!

The C.I.A. has never looked so appealing, Melissa S.

Watch the Birdie!

(Let’s see… I’ve got strong light coming from the east, so I’d better use an F-22 setting with the variable high-speed aperture, and soften those shadows with the 500-watt telephoto grammiz frobble…)

Photo: Camera Birds by Navicore

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