Need I Remind You, We Both Have Thumbs

Civilian, please do not touch the animal while I work. I possess a highly skilled craft; you do not. Let my healing hands guide the way to a cure to this terrible problem.

And…Yes, I think I’ve done it. The animal should finally be rid of this very unpleasant case of Singultus.

Dr. McDomineering and patient McPanty might make “Grey’s Anatomy” watchable, Martin I.

Gravity sucks

I’m glued to the ground. Did someone slip me a mickey or something?

Seriously, is there some kind of giant magnet below me? Did I ingest a lot of iron?

He goes against the grain, Joie B.

The Reason Gertrude Squeaks, When Poked

No, I haven’t seen him. What do you mean, I look guilty? Maybe he went for a walk or something, I dunno. But I know for sure that I didn’t eat Rubber Ducky. No, definitely not.

Poke Gertrude Here!

Let me guess, Jenny B.: Calgon.

Scientists Discover Evolved, Even More Unenthused, Breed

When our team engaged specimen (code name “Blow Dry”) with friendly snuggles and delicious alfalfa, specimen exhibited fascinating new “threatening” behavior.

Meet the Puffer Bun.

What’s it like living with Santa Claws, Hillary B.

Dainty, She Ain’t

When she wasn’t driving her rig, Bertha liked to let it all hang out and relax. Not surprisingly, her roommate, Prudence, wasn’t around much.

What a lady, Charlotte D.

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Clever Hamsters

It was another tear-stained night in the French Quarter, heartbreak hanging over every street like a grieving fog.  There was already a row of shot glasses on the bar in front of me, drained like fallen soldiers, but I still had sorrows to drown.

It was Amateur Night, when every cab driver with the ten-spot to get his horn out of hock took his turn in the shadows of Parker and Gillespie.  A beady-eyed quartet shuffled on stage; with luck, they’d only butcher a few numbers before slinking away in shame.  I ordered another shot and braced myself for the worst.

But then they started to play…

Like coolsville, Amy F.

Friday Haiku: Puppy Uppers!

Prosh pal punchy, pooped?
Popping power pill provides
Plenty pep for pup

The secret compartment of my ring I fill / With an Underdog super energy pill!

Quite a pick-me-up, Danée A.

Cute Overload Inadvertently Destroys a Computer

This is outrageous!

Why do you need to surf the net to see other cats?! We’ll see how cute you think he is after I claw his face off.

Don’t bill us, Beylah R.

Don’t Cross the Maltesie Crime Family

Hey boss, I ain’t workin’ for free here. I dug your hole, but if you want me to – you know – “bury the bone” too, then that’s gonna cost you extra.

Oh, you’ll bury the bone. You’ll do it quickly. And you’ll do it quietly. And fortunately for you, I’m going to try and forget your very unfortunate attitude.

Has anyone seen Sir Purrsalot, Gwyneth D. and Ariel C.?

Hedgehog: It’s What’s for Dinner

Oh sure, every time we show you a baby bunny, or a cute kitteh, you people are all like “Squeee!  Ah wawna pop heem in mah mouf!”  Well, bon appétit, kiddies!  (On the plus side, you won’t need a toothpick after dinner.)

What wine goes with hedgehog, Brittany H.?

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